Hi all

[refills]

I'm alive and doing ok. Feel pretty lousy I've been away. It's just been so hard to post when I don't have anything to give or say. I don't know if it's guilt or if it's frustration. I came to a point where I didn't think I was doing any good for anyone or myself. I felt like I couldn't get away from myself as if I was constantly drowning. I think Bonnie's death shook me to the breaking point. I was already feeling like I was dying and that sent me over the edge. I'm feeling better for now but not rock steady. I do miss you all very much though. Many times a day I thought to post but couldn't raise my hands to do it.

Well yesterday I went for my six month checkup with the oncologist. No recurrence of old tumor and the one on the left kidney hasn't grown so we will leave it alone for now. The mark on my liver didn't show up this time so all good news. I wonder if all this cancer stuff broke me after all I've dealt with the past year? I know the excuse drill all to well. lol

I'm still clean from Xanax and I have to tell you I've turned the corner on that chapter. Still anxious as heck but wouldn't want to live that again. I do drink light beer on occasion but don't feel like it's controlling my life and my wife is happy about all that. Although I think she knows I'm in a super funk. No Neurontin or Trazodone. I don't think my head is right yet after that darn stroke. Since my wife retired we changed insurance to concentrate on cancer doctors. So I lost my stroke team. Will get that back next month when I go on medicare, I'll go see them again then.

Well I hope you all are doing fine and I hope to be back as a regular from now on in. I feel better already typing this out. You all take care and I love you all very much.....ike

[clean_in_ks]

It really warms my heart to hear from you, Ike♥

You have overcome A LOT this past year....especially when you say it outloud..LOL  I mean who wouldn't be in a super funk for awhile, ya know?
Overcoming your addiction to Xanax, a stroke, then cancer and major surgery?  Now you're off the Trazodone and the Neurontin!!  That sounds like some MAJOR MAJOR accomplishments to me.

What a great report from your oncologist and now you have plans to get your stroke team back in place.  You're healing....body, mind and soul, Ike.

We love to hear from you whenever you feel led to post....your kind heart shines through in all you do.  

[refills]

Thank you all. Hoping to find a groove I can slip into. I just want to feel normal again.

[gnarly_1]

Hey Ike good to see you and great to here about the doc reports coming back good.....this is all about life on lifes terms and your doing the deal we will always welcome your input on the forum so please post and answer posts..........Gnarly

[dominosarah]

Hi Ike!!  It is so nice to hear from you.  I am also happy to hear you had a good report from the oncologist.  Your plate was overflowing for awhile and things have calmed down so i think you will be feeling better real soon.  Sounds like your wife has a "watchful" eye on you also!!!

[Krissy_123]

Awe Ike I'm so happy to see you on here!! I think of you a lot,im so sorry this has been such a rough road for you. You need to know that every post you've written to others has helped so much!! You've helped me!! Please hang around,you're loved by all of us and we need you as much as you need us!! xoxox krissy

[VICourageous]

Nice to see you stop bye.
I am so happy about your update too!
Just hang in, sooner or later you will feel a bit better. Between my awful detox and having a small heart attack, that I did not know, made it a bit harder to bounce back.
Keep those Positive thoughts going and keep on Praying for a better day.
Bless
Vickie

[meegWpaw]

hey ike it's great to see you here!  missed you.  glad your health is better.  stay a while!

[atthebeach]

Wow Ike I am so happy to see you post. I was just thinking of you earlier
Today but didn't get to sent a note and then here you are.
Wonderful update anout your cancer.
Glad to hear you are finished with all the meds.

My husband had a very high psa level of 28. He had prostate biospy and has a extremely rare tumor. So he has to go for lots more testing.

My daughter got married oct. 3rd after6 months of planning.
It was a beautiful wedding. I was only able to put up on picture so far.

i hope to continue to see you around.
Continued prayers and healing,
Debbie