I cannot do this alone!

[jaxbaby]

I broke down and made an appointment with my Dr. today. I feel like a failure but need a little help.
Never in my life would I have ever imagined myself in this place (I am sure you all can relate).
Again, those of you who have done this and done this alone, you truely are my heros. I will post how
my appointment goes. I have a GREAT doc so am confident he will be supportive. I am in the thick of it
right now (i think) my last little piece was Sunday morning - I was sure hoping the anxiety, sleeplessness
and restlessness would have subsided.  The nurse also told me that sometimes it may be genetics as to how
well you take withdrawals - that was interesting to me.  

[iamaloser5320]

if your girls are old enough tell them the truth. let them know what pain meds will do to you. let them know that if they go down that road to they will eventually be in the same spot. i wish i would have had some harsh reality befor i tryed my first one.

[jaxbaby]

Thank you for the advice!  He won't give me one because I told his nurse why I was coming in.  3 more hours and MAYBE i will have some relief.  It feels like i have been sea sick since Saturday.

[LeaAnn807]

Honey, don't worry right now about why or how you got to this point.  It's only going to make you obsess about it.  Like you said....you can't stand to think about it.  SO DON'T!  It doesn't matter anyway.  I used to ask myself 50 questions too, and it just kept it on my mind. You are doing SO well.  Wow....I could not have worked and WDn at the same time!

Ask for the clonidine!  I PROMISE YOU that it will help more than any other thing they could give you!  AND it's safe!

Now....just concentrate on getting better!

[sway1]

it's what we do when we get in the room with the doctor that is important. i have gone before with the best intentions, and after sitting in the waiting room, then in the exam room. the doctor would come in and the next thing i knew i was getting another pain script. this disease is sneaky, filled with malice. can you take a friend with you?

[NorcBgone]

Dont' forget the immodium! lol Hylands can be found at Wal-mart( not sure where you live), but you have to look hard. It's in a small package 50count. Red box. Keep posting, you're doing good.

[jaxbaby]

I felt like I prepared --- vitamin, amino acid, pepto, melatonin, motrin  Obviously not enough. I did not get the Hylands -- I will do that, where can you get it?  I am a wreck right now (although you would not know it on the outside). I have had to take many deep breaths today, been in the bathroom alot of the day and only attempting to get work done at work.  My girls have seen me sick for 3 days and all I can say is its the flu, I hate lying to them.  I still can not believe how bad this has taken a toll on me. I am wondering if it is because when I had surgery 2 months ago they had me on a morphine pump, then went right from that to lorcets.  Aaa I cant even think about it!

[iamaloser5320]

i tryed sleep md which is meletonin, i took 2 instead of the recommended dose of one and it didnt help me. but my brain was in overdrive for about 2 weeks. i was seriously depressed and i think that lead to no sleeping meds working.  my brother told me the key to taking sleeping meds is to take them while you are still up, i was trying to take them when i layed down to try to go to sleep which they would make me really sleepy but they wouldnt make me sleep. i wish i would have known about this hylands stuff tho because as ive been reading all these different posts alot of people seem to swear by it.

[avisg]

no  benzos are the worst thing about the Thomas recipe and one thing you have to keep in mind when you read it is he was an addict .you want to try to get out of the addictive cycle of using one addictive drug to come off another.There is a med call colonadine its non addicting it help with the wd and helps alot off people sleep as well check into that .

[Danny111]

Involving your doctor and or anyone else who might be able to help is definitely the intelligent thing to do.  

I didn't involve other people because I was ashamed, not because that was the smartest or most effective way to get clean.  I think that's probably the reason many other folks on here try it alone.  

Keeping things secret is part of being an addict.  

[NorcBgone]

I agree, no benzos. I took potassium, calcium/magnesium  supplements (still am), drank a lot of fluids, and relied on Hylands the most. Also, the melatonin was key to getting any sleep these past 5 nights.

[iamaloser5320]

i like the thomas recepie other that the fact he calls for some benzos.. i dont know about anyone else but when i take benzos i dont care about my sobriety so i did alot of what he said ASIDE from the benzos.

[NorcBgone]

iamaloser - I did have dreams the first few nights, mostly about finding more pills. Fortunately I always woke up before I found them. I was a great manipulator and resource for finding what I wanted. The sleep has come with some very interesting dreams, but I havent had a dream about my DOC in the last 2 nights. Cravings I'm sure will always be under the surface.

jax - did you prepare for this? The thomas recipe, vitamins, hylands restless leg syndrome. Hylands saved my butt many a nights. Keep drinking that water!

[dominosarah]

You are doing a good thing by involving your doctor.  You are in no way a failure.  No more negative thinking!!   You deserve a life free of pills and you have it in you to live this way.....Keep us posted.          sara

[iamaloser5320]

lol. im 20some days in and having bad cravings. so im posting up a storm on this website. im glad to see other people getting through it like you. it  makes it a little easier to get the thoughts out of my head.  ive been dreaming about them the last few days cause i have gotten a little sleep. so when i wake up thats been the first thing on my mind. befor the last couple of days, i couldnt tell you the last time i had a dream.  i dont know if the drugs werent allowing me to dream or what. it would be interesting to me to know if anyone else had that same problem.

[jaxbaby]

I have prayed alot!! I am at work and not doing well. Drinking a ton of water and praying more. This is the longest day of my life.

[NorcBgone]

I am SO very proud of myself! Just didn't want to seem preachy since I am just getting my recovery off to a start. 6 days is a lot, and worth the struggle every step of the way!

[iamaloser5320]

what do you mean only.. 6 days is alot. be proud. thats usually the worst of it over. alot of it becomes mental after that.

[NorcBgone]

Find your inner strength. I know this is easier said than done, but I prayed. I spent as much time in the sun as I could bear. I attempted to walk my dogs to stay busy (a little at a time). I'm only 6 days clean, but this forum was such a positive in my recovery. I love what iamaloser said, then your brain tries to take over, come back here and update us/vent/scream whatever helps you get past that moment.

[iamaloser5320]

whenever your brain goes rogue, get on here and update us.

[jaxbaby]

I Love you ALL !!!!!  I don't know how you all did it. Thank you all for sharing.

[NorcBgone]

Just remember you have a lot of support here, and a lot of healthy opinions to get you to the other side of this. Keep posting, it sure did help me. Best of luck to you!

[Cissy373]

First of all your not a failure, in fact your quiet brave to be able to share with your doctor.

hang in there.

Cissy

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  Don't feel like you have failed.  Talking to your doctor about help is NOT failing.  That is being very brave, actually.  He might give you some clonidine.  It's a non-addicting blood pressure med that is used in detox centers.  I used it, and I can tell you from first hand experience with and without it that it DOES help.  Might be worth asking since you don't have to worry about getting addicted to it.  (It helps anxiety too! I think by lowering the BP.)  Anyway, you are doing a good thing.  If you go by the drugstore, get some Hylands Restful Legs and mag/cal supplement.  It helps the restlessness more than ANYTHING!

Good luck today!  Let us know!

Lea Ann

[vicki595]

Hey!  It's always good to get your doctor involved. It doesn't mean you're a failure,just the opposite !   It takes a lot of guts to 'fess up to the doctor !!

Yes,we're all different genetically. We experience w/d's in different ways but very few have an easy time of it. I sure didn't !!

Good luck with the appt. Let us know how it went~
Vicki