How long does the depression last?

[Hydrohell]

I've been taking hydros for years. But it was always on and off. Last summer I started taking them daily. I was performing like crazy at work, and making a bunch of money, and I rationalized that the pills were why. I know better. I also came to the conclusion that my tolerance was leading me down the road of no return. I've gotten to the point where I feel like the pills don't make me happy anymore. They've sucked me in to the point they will absorb me.

I'm on my 2nd day without them. I was up too 9-15 10mg pills daily. I just ate them, no smoking, or snorting. About 8 months of heavy use. Please tell me this is going to stop at some point. I feel like I will never know happiness again right now. I've got goosebumps, this is my 2nd night of no sleep, and I am so lost. Never been through anything like this before.

I'm just hopeful that my decision to kick these things now, will give me a shorter recovery time than had I done them for a year or two, or more. Thanks for any help you guys can provide me. I'm grateful, because right now I'm scared, I'm alone, and honestly find death more appealing than this. I'm not going to off myself, but you get what I'm saying.

[Hydrohell]

I'm grateful for so many supportive, sweet, kind hearted people during the single most difficult time in my life. We all have a story, and we have all experienced pain, but I had never been through anything close to what I went through the middle of last month. I'm still clean, and it's getting easier every day. I try to tell myself that I can smoke some weed, and that it's no big deal but I'm dedicated to learning how to find some happiness in sobriety. Thanks again to all of you wonderful people. You're God's angels as far as I'm concerned. I needed you so bad, and you can't imagine how grateful I am that you were there for me. I don't know your names, have no idea what you look like, but you're some of the most special people on Earth too me. Thanks again.

[Sleeplessinca]

So proud of u. Keep it up. The struggles of daily life are the hardest part but it all comes with time. U got this

[Hydrohell]

I'll look into supplements. Thank you everyone for your responses. This really *****. Day 8 and I'm low like it's day 3. No physical withdrawal, but mentally I'm as low as I ever have been. It has to get better...but it's rough. I've been tempted, but know it's not going to do anything positive.

[JenKitty92]

Wnen I started my withdrawal 4 mos. ago, I armed myself with supplements.  Specifically, SAM-e, a complex B supplement, vitamin D, and kava kava or valerian root to help calm a racing heart and sleep.  ALL helped and my withdrawals were minimal. You can't just stop taking a narcotic without taking some sort supplements to combat the symptoms you'll be going thru.  The SAM-e helped tremendously with my moods.  The depression doesn't last forever but the supplements make this whole process a,lot more bearable.

[lulu747]

Hey your story really touches me.  
"Doesn't matter how much money you have if you know the things you really want are the things you have to stay away from'.

This is just because you have been using for so long that you forgot about the things that you REALLY want.  Love, happiness, peace, family, friends, support, faith in yourself, confidence, self respect...
You can have these things and most importantly, you DESERVE these things.  Have you reached out to anyone in real life?  Not that MH isn't real life but it is so important to confide and look into someones eyes.  Hugs really help.  I feel your isolation and loneliness in this and I just want to tell you that you don't have to be alone.  No one does.  
Consider a recovery program of some variety.  You are so worth the battle to get yourself back.
Sending support..
Lu

[Hydrohell]

Thanks for your words, Goblin. You don't wish this **** on anyone, but you always want to talk to people who can relate to your experiences. I wish you the best in your recovery as well.

I just got back late last night from work. I work on the road in sales 3 days a week. We drive off somewhere, and then come back home. I'm now on day 7 of my recovery, and am pretty well confident that I will never go through anything like this again. I'll stay vigilant to make sure, but I'm feeling pretty good about that statement.

I'm still depressed. I was really worried how I would perform under my current state, but I had my best week yet, so that was super encouraging. Hasn't stopped me from being super depressed though. Doesn't matter how much money you have if you know the things you really want are the things you have to stay away from. I'm sure I'll get to feeling better in another week or two, and will develop some new hobbies, and past times.

Thanks to everyone for their help as I've delved through all of this. I needed some support pretty badly, and a couple of you have been fabulous. I'll check in periodically and see how everyone is doing.

[Goblin666]

I can completely relate to everthing you have posted through this thread. I have been there, and back, and there again, and now I'm coming back.  Haven't had a drink or unprescribed drug in 7 years but an injury got me hooked to these pills again for about the past 2 years. Now just a couple weeks off of them and healing.   I would encourage you to keep doing what you are doing plus get into a 12 step meeting.  Just try one out, it helped me tremendously once I had an open mind about it.  It gave me happiness in sobriety.  I'm in my late 30's and have used for about 25 years of my life.  It's what I do best so I can relate to the fear of being sober BUT just take it one day at a time.  You could always use tomorrow, but hopefully you wont need or want to and that's where the 12 step support came in for me to help me remember that.  I have an amazing life today and it was really really bad before I got clean.  Every minute you are not using you are healing.  Ask for help, seek a professional, work steps, and keep posting!

[Hydrohell]

I'm approaching 72 hours since my last dose wore off. I'm in such a better state now. The crawling in my skin is gone completely, I slept 9 1/2 hours last night completely uninterrupted, and I felt MUCH better this morning when I woke up.

I'm through the tough part. Now, it's just mental. I haven't been sober In years, so I'm dealing with all of the emotions I spent years running from. I'm still depressed, but I see light at the end of the tunnel, and it's nice after what I went through the last 3 days.

Thank you all so much for your responses, and CR, thank you a million for your words last night! I needed them so very badly. You have no idea..

I won't leave. I'll keep checking in, and do my best to be supportive to others who come here looking for help. Thank you all again, so much!

[CRSeaside]

Everyone on Medhelp is ready to support you. It will also be good to see if you can begin a live support group. Check DBSA web site for free groups. I go to one it's for mental health. Just about everyone in my group has self medicated with opioids.  Or join a church group. My girlfriend got clean & keeps her mind right thru bible study.
  AA/NA groups.  Be accountable to people. Promise, it will help.  

[ImOverThisBS]

You can do it buddy I was taking 30-45 hydro 10's per day when I quit cold turkey 19 days ago. Best decision ever. I wish I had done it two years ago but I'm here now and done for good. So best advice would be take baths with Epsom salt it really helps calm your body down. I started feeling better after about day 3-4. Just remember to try to keep your mind busy, small chores, walk around the house, read a book etc... Drink lots of fluids and if it's really bad consider the Thomas recipe it's helped me a ton.
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

Your friend,
Sean

[Hydrohell]

You're like a God send right now. I've never felt so alone in my life, and have had very few responses on here. Nobody in my life would even understand what is going on, and I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone. I'm alone in this, so I want you to know I appreciate you so much right now.

[CRSeaside]

I'm glad you are here. Stay with us & stay safe. Get ready for the sweats & freezing. Be thankful for it. It means you're getting better not worse. We love & support you.  

[Hydrohell]

I'll absolutely pray for you. Thank you for your kindness. I really needed that.

[Hydrohell]

I didn't do it. I wanted too, duh, anyone who's been here has wanted too, I'm sure I will again at some point, but I stayed away from it. I took my last hydros about 56 hours ago, so I imagine I'm 52 hours into detox. I'm not crawling in my skin anymore, and I slept about 2 hours earlier. I'm VERY hopeful I'll sleep tonight.

I mean, I'm really hoping. I'm depressed as hell. I'm having thoughts I have NEVER had in my life before. I would never act on them, because I understand what is happening too me, but it's hard.

I haven't been sober in 22 years, since I was 15 years old. I was just a stoner. I smoked pot every day for 20 years until it started making me paranoid as hell, and I had to quit smoking it.

So I started drinking. Heavily. For 2 years, and decided I needed to kick that because it was getting bad, and it runs in my family. The hydros I guess were the next logical step in my addiction. I've already stated in a previous post why I have to do this.

But there's nothing left for me but sobriety and that thought brings me the most despair. I don't know how to be sober. NOTHING makes me happy. People say that's impossible, and I sure wish that was true.

A therapist is probably in my future. Meanwhile, I've never felt so hopeless in my life. Yet, here I am, understanding that it has to end. Please say a prayer for me if you're so inclined. I need God's intervention now more than any other time in my life. Thanks for listening.

[CRSeaside]

You stay strong. No good to get meds now. It will be harder on you. Do take hot bath. Get some fresh fruit. Drink tons of water.  You can & will pull through.

[Hydrohell]

I really don't know anything about any of this. I'm at about hour number 46 since my last pill. I have access to some from the guy who lives upstairs. If I take 2, and I mean only 2, does it really restart the entire withdrawal process over again, or would it provide some relief? If I wanted to go back, it would be easy to do, but I don't. I just don't want to crawl in my skin anymore.

[Hydrohell]

So I only slept for about an hour, and I was sweating the whole time apparently. Now I'm awake, and shivering. This is horrid. Can anyone give me any idea how long I can expect the withdrawal symptoms to last? This is absolutely horrible. I've never experienced anything like it.

[gnarly_1]

HI well most of us know what your going threw so your in good company as for being scared of withdrawal be scared of what will happen if you dont quit using...keep in mind this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental so be ready to fight it out on both fronts I think i have said this a million times but it is so true   ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' this to shale pass remember to stay hydrated I recommend a case of gatoraid for now if it gets really bad a hot bath goes a long way to make you feel better keep reading and post for support good luck and God bless...................Gnarly

[Hydrohell]

Thank you for a timely response. How long was it until you started feeling better? How long until you slept? How long were you using when you quit? I don't mean to bother you right now, I could just use some help. Thank you so much.

[Sleeplessinca]

Just a keep going and you will get readjusted. Praying for ya. I'm on day 13 and I was taking as much as u were. I feel great again. I found getting out if the house when u can or feel antsy helps a lot. And lots of hot showers or baths. Don't watch the clock. Keep your kind off it and focused. Funny movies or games. Make that your addiction for now. Keep on fighting. There is light at the end of the tunnel. If I could get off 10 Percs a day. U can. Believe in your self and the rest will come with time.