It's been al long time since iv been here

[Lovemyfam2000]

Hi guys I'm sorry to say I'm back I stayed clean for almost a year and then something happend and I started it up agin so DUMB and embarrassing this is tough I can't belive I'm putting my family throu this again well been planning this quitting again for a while took a month off work to go throu hell once again for my second time grrrrrrr I'm do mad at my self well it's day one again the last time I took a oxycodin was at 9 last night so I'm wating for the worst crying I came back here cause it helped me last time there's great people here n I have no one to talk to about this the one that knows I'm quitting is my husband my best friend takes pills to do no help there for me do saddddd right now sorry for rantin thanks for listing :-(

[Katya5555]

Hang in there. You will make it this time. We've got to get you to some face 2face 12 step meetings. Maybe an AA mtg when your husband or friend could watch the kids? This will be the last time. Hang in there.

[Lovemyfam2000]

I have thought n even tried but I want as many as I have so they go fast not worth It cold turkey semms faster do u think ?

[littlebit667]

have you considered  a taper??.  Your children need you clean...this time is short and they will more than survive.  Better now than never.  I hope you can keep this going.  Sometimes the therapist is not right for you.  You might try another one.  

[Lovemyfam2000]

I'm crying now my husband been complaining the last hrs to get all the kids to bed I have A 1,8,10 n my heart is just broken for them wen I quit last time I sufferd for almost 8 month just so down  I have no time for n/a I did do 4 month therapy but wasent no help I just feel alone my husband don't get it I guess he figures just cause I'm hot smart I can just deal buf once u go throu this none of that matter my heart brakes for the kids they don't deserve this :-( I just love them sooooooo much but after 8 months of suffering how can I make it I have like 60 pills right now n no I'm not taking them but it's both the answer why dose life have to be so difficult

[littlebit667]

Sorry you are back here again.  I understand...did it myself a time or two.  A year is amazing.  

Hunker down and just get thru it.  Do you have the supplies??  Immodium, gatorade or other liquid, etc??  

After is hard.  I had to make sure there was nothing available to me by closing all avenues.  Did you have an aftercare program??  If you did not go to NA or other program.. maybe a private therapist would be helpful.  There is a reason we stayed on the pills and I had to dig deep to figure out what I was hiding from.  

I hope all goes well and so glad you came back!  

[Lovemyfam2000]

This is hard now I'm just sittin here crying while my husband is annoyed a bit with me not barley able to move this is just do sad and emabaressin n I still have got the worst it's only day 1 tom prob be way worst day 2 you all have sick kind words I'm just not sure what to do right now

[ToPretty4Pills]

The important thing is that your back!!! We all can fall short but, don't look at yourself as a failure!! Commend yourself for having the strength to seek help and start your journey again!!!

[Nursey7]

I am glad you are here. I am only 18 days  off of Vicodin and this helps to know I need to keep my guard up and keep pushing on. Honestly in my little warped mind I was thinking when I get back from vacation I don't think I really need this NA thing. I was even debating about keeping up on here saying "I got this". It's obvious I don't if you did it a year. I am a newbie but anything I can do to help I am here for ya :-)

[Lovemyfam2000]

Thanks everyone for the support I was dibsting if I should come back here now I'm glad I did u guys are trully a blessing

[dominosarah]

We got your back girl so lean on us~~

[Lovemyfam2000]

Hi Sara glad your still here I'm so scared girl iv been planning this do I took a month of work n have my mom coming to help for 2 or 3 days tom to help with the kids Sara tell u the truth I'm more scared of after the withdraws but I'm hoping it's better this time cause I think I want it more this time plus planning on exercising but have these first few days to go throu first Plz pray for me

[dominosarah]

I am glad you are back and working on this again.  Dont worry about the wd's as they will be what they are.  Focus more on what you can do to make sure this doesnt happen again.  Keep talking to us, we are here for you~sara

[Lovemyfam2000]

I went to therapy after I quit last time Im not sure it helped the guy kept sayin I look like I'm doing great it took me months last time to be ok I felt like doing nothing for months my kids are the ones who pay most. This time I'm hoping to exercise Mabey will help I was doing youga and liftin dumbells so will see I'm saying it now m it's only day one I'm still not feeling full effect of withdrawals I'm sitting here waiting i am getting hot n startin to feel heavy witch I weigh 110 so prob soon

[Ben727]

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! The important thing is that you want to quit, and for that, you should be proud. Definitely cut all ties, and remove any source of temptation. Have you thought about aftercare yet?

[Lovemyfam2000]

And another thing I'm not quitting cause I don't have any I do I have Perc n tabs but I kind set it up so where I can quit n have help with the kids so I chose today I am going to have my husband to get rid of the pills I really do want to do this :-(

[Lovemyfam2000]

Thanks you guys and I guess I had a choice it was one of those things wen I could of used it but should have said no but to late ya I would love to get support here I won't get anywhere else this is tough I'm sitting here just waiting for it to get worst by the hr I can't belive I'm doing this for the second time I'm sooooo stupid

[Ben727]

Hi. It sounds like you did it once and I bet you can do it again! Maybe you can help others (like this one) while you help yourself. I am a little over a month clean, zero urge to relapse, but I worry about what might trip me up down the road. What got you? Could you have handled it differently, or did you have no choice?

I know it will probably be hard for you to post over the next few days, so I'll keep an eye out. And if you don't want to talk about it, I understand and simply offer you my support regardless. Hold fast!

[Sonrissa]

Hi Lovemyfam and welcome back! There is still wonderful support here and you will get tons of it! You know what to expect, just make sure you are well prepared! Get back on the horse! Post anytime you need some encouragement and support! Take care and best wishes!