needing support

[clearman]

So have been reading on this site for a few days now as Vicodin loratab all of those little evil pills, have completely ruined my life. Vicodin has taken everything and more from me over the last few years. I was taking 20 10/500 a day sometimes more! Reading some of the other posts I understand now that there are thousands of other folks out there who have the same problem that I do as well. I started an extreme taper the last few days from 20 to 14 to 9 in the last three days, and I already feel sick and that life seems to have pulled its blackness over my soul and is dragging me into an non-opiate hell.  I know that there is life after Vicodin but I'm having trouble beleving that it is worth living.  I have no family and what friends I used to have were lost when I moved for a new job Vicodin were the only thing that gets me through working the night shift.

[wransomejr]

Most of us have less discipline during a taper. I was on 100mg a day for a while, then flipped between 6 and 8. I am trying to do three x 7.5 a day, but I am cheating by keeping a pill for emergency and my mom is dispensing me three.

You were taking so many, a slower taper MAY help, but I did this once before. I went from 20 50mg Tramadol a day down to 6 before going CT and still had a bad 5 days and then several weeks of mostly sleep problems. Tramadol is worse that regular opiates, so not an exact comparison.

Right now, I know I could quit and in 5 days the worst of the physical part would be done, and I can get the time off from work if I want. For me it is more a matter of psyching up to deal with the detox, which is what some tapering helps (for me). Most people on here will tell you that tapers will not mediate the detox enough to be worth it.

What ever you do, DO NOT neglect aftercare (N/A, counseling, whatever) to stay clean. I did not listen to anyone about that. I am an educated professional. I know everything, right? BS. I went through a really tough detox with Tramadol only to fall off the wagon months after getting clean because I could not figure out how to be happy sober. So just watch out and guard your sobriety. It is precious and think how much fun stuff you can do with that money!

The fear of detox is usually way worse than the actual process. It ain't fun, but what is a week or two when you can get control back over your life, as opposed to being controlled by pills. We are here for you man. Pray for me. I am going to be clean by my birthday. May 23. Big 50!

Randy

[Tryingntx]

I know how you are feeling. BELIEVE ME. Day 4 n it's been tough. I didn't have the self control to taper. Nights are really bad. U will find help and support here. Read the posts. I would never b this far without this site. Hang tough you will make it.

[clearman]

Oh, the Vicodin
How you control me
The blackness of your sweet embrace
Is both the nightmare and the sweetest dream

[Dave1963]

Welcome...As I'm sure you've read here in this forum you are NOT alone.  We've all been where you're at now and each day off these damn pills gets a little brighter.  I'm sorry that you don't have family there to help you, but if it makes you feel better, you can consider all of us here your family :))  We'll do our best to help you through this dark period in your life, but understand, this darkness is only temporary, there is light at the end of your journey.  Like many have said here, think of this as going through a bad case of the flu.  The worst of the WD's will be over in about 5-7 days and then things will begin to slowly get better for ya.  Keep posting here and you will see that there are many kind and caring people willing to help you.  Good luck and congrats on taking the first step to taking back your life...Dave

[akitagurl12]

I used to feel exactly how you described yourself.  And that was only like 3 weeks ago.  I used vicodin mostly at work, everyday, for years.  I finally decided to quit for real once i realized that almost half of my paychecks were going to the street guy i was getting them from.  It was insane, and I wasn't even enjoying the pills anymore.  I got to the point where I needed them just to get out of bed in the morning.  I know I am still a long way from being able to cope with life perfectly, but I can say that no matter what, it is way more doable and easy then trying to keep up with a pill addiction.  That life is worthless feeling is just part of the vicodin damage.  Your brain will need time to start functioning without it.  I am surprised at how fast it actually started to get better once I completely quit.  Even though at the time I couldn't see it of course.  All I had to go by was to trust those who had gone before me.  I know if it didn't get better, I wouldn't have stayed clean.  It did and continues to get better and better everyday.  I am glad you found this website & look forward to reading your posts:)

[steve1220]

hi sweetie and welcome.....first please dont feel like you dont have anybody cause on thi site you've got pleanty of peole just like you who cares you'll see by the time you get over this we'll be your friends some say family !!! so are you still tapering or have you already jumped off them? please believe me when i tell you this is doable....when done you'll have your life back with a smile :) keep us posted so we can help you through this...hang in there girlie......ps theres 2 1/2 million people addicted to these pain meds in the US and theres a lot of people everyday coming to this site needing help getting off them.....this site works !!!!!!
    zona steve

[LostNoMore]

Hello. Welcome. Let me say one thing:  The Black Hell of being chained to a little white pill is FAR worse than the discomfort of detox. Once you stop using, you will have given yourself the gift of hope. The fear of how to live clean is the drug trying to suck you back into the real hell...active addiction.
Getting clean is hard, and staying clean is even harder. Is it worth it?
EVERY SECOND! You've made a beginning. Keep moving. You can do it.
Stick around and you'll make it.