I am in severe pain, thought of suicide

[jerrip]

I am almost sure I won't do that...but now that I have been taken off dilauid what do I do for the pain?  For the first few days Aleive helped, and I thought ...how strange THIS works....well It doesn't today and the pain is getting worse. The doctor who told me to go off the drugs is .....can you believe this ....taking a week off!!!         Jerri.

[wannabefree330]

Well look how far you've made it?  I know it hasn't been easy for you but you really have made leaps and bounds.  If you can do it this long, you can continue doing it without the opiates.  You do have a lot of medical issues to take into consideration.  With your fibromyalgia a low impact exercise is what is mostly recommended for that, however, with your heart condition you have to be careful.  Just keep it LOW impact, like a slow steady paced walk down the street every day.  This will also help those natural endorphins start kicking in again.  Did your doctor take you off of all the muscle relaxers as well?  If he was worried about you OD'ing on the narcotic, you can just as easily on these also.  Well, whatever the reason, it's in your best interest to quit the dilaudid either way.  Good to hear the melatonin is helping you sleep, and keep taking the vitamins.  I think the shaking is just your body still removing the chemicals from all those pain receptors.  The exercise will most definitely expidite the process....if you can do that.

Keep it up, and keep posting.

[worried878]

dilaudid is a strong narcotic....he left after taking u completely off dialuadid with not taper down....strong narcotic,high on the list...doc for junkies....bad drug but is a beloved street drug...u were on it orally and he just left u high and dry?   se another doc who can help...what is your goal here?

[jerrip]

He told me that he thought I was taking so much when I was in pain I might OD. I have 5 doctors, and they all send their reports to him to monitor. He said he knew I was a tough old bird, and I could do it.  He gve me some tamazapam to help....I don't know if it does or not, but on night 12 I hurt and an shaking.   Jerri

[redrodeo]

I think it is rare but I came off of dilaudid. It was a b****ch. Fentanyl was worse. I was using fentora loz and patches. Why did your doc just stop your meds? He should know its going to kick your ***. But congradulations on making it this far.
Red

[jerrip]

Yes I take vitamins also a B complex, and an  omega pill from fish and flax.  Jerri

[GoingToMakeIt]

Are you taking vitamins and supplements? They are very important to your recovery. Magnesium and calcium may help the shakes.

[jerrip]

Thanks all...I took melatonin last night and slept the whole night thru.  I feel better this morniing, but this afternoon the shakes are back and it is day 12....wonder how long they will last.  I was on dilaudid for several years...it is so controled(32 times the strenth of moraphine)  I have yet to find anyone here that has come off it.  Well thanks for the answers...you always seem to be here when I need you   Love  Jerri

[flmagi]

It takes a while for your bodies natural pain killers to kick back in,  so hang in there.  There is still more light at the end of the tunnel.

[Anaxis]

Be careful with OTC pain meds (like Motrin/ibuprofen)....  Not too long ago a couple soldiers died from combination liver-failure and massive stomach ulcers.  Not sure exactly, but the culprit WAS the Motrin 800s that the military docs hand out like candy.  With those it's very easy to reach overdose/toxic levels.
IF....  Motrin 800 doesn't work to control pain well, then chances are pretty good that stronger/different meds are needed.  And unfortunately for some of us, that pretty much precludes anything BUT opiates for pain-mngmt.....  and write-happy docs on the civilian side of things certainly don't help in searching for alternative meds.  
Some doctors have have specific agreements with medication suppliers, and may prescribe a certain medication often because they get kickbacks.  Others simply aren't knowledgable about the drugs they prescribe, and they get what limited info they know from "pocket-guide" drug handbooks.  I know this because I've already run into two that had no clue what types of interactions, side-effects, and other dangers the drugs had that they were writing me for.  If your doc pulls out a pocket handbook on drugs to look up common information on a med he just gave you, leave.  Doctors should know what they write for, and what your specific condition merits well enough to not resort to such generic info.

[marcatj]

Jerri...

after a couple weeks, if you choose to do that, sometimes a number of us have found that our chronic pain wasn't as bad as we thought. after we stopped the narcotics.

the drugs can make us feel... worse, in a way. pain-wise.

i don't know your situation, i just know i was told that.  and after a couple weeks, i realized that was true for me.

i also know the narcotics f*** with your head.  i've never felt suicidal except for when i was in throws of my norco addiction.

once i got of themf, that thought of suicide lifted immediately.  it didn't mean i didn't have some depression to deal with (as a result of the abuse,) but not suicide.  and even the depression lifted after a couple of weeks.

that stuff really messes with your mind.  as well, your pain receptors.

if you can find a good pain specialist, who does not use narcotics as the first course of treatment (mine is a pain specialist/addiction specialist - rolled into one - very common) it can be a very good thing.  really combats two birds with one stone,

again - i don't know your deal - but hearing that the aleve has helped so far, i think perhaps it may be a good choice to stay off the dialadid for awhile.  if you can...

good luck sweety...

warmly,
mj

[jerrip]

I know what all you are saying is true.  It is encouraging to hear the pain was sometimes less then while you were taking drugs. Even when I took dilaudids every 2 hours on a really bad day the pain never went all the way away....I am terrified of that pain....so far it has not been unberable....i can't believe all this pain is good for my heart...at least that is what my cardiologist told me a few years ago....well sh** .  I am supposed to go out tonight maybe I will have a drink since I am no longer taking pain meds.   Love  Jerri

[broknbck]

It is so true about the pain that the pills actually imitate. Mine is chronic back pain.
THe pills stopped working for that long ago. But as my tapper got lower and lower, the pain got worse and worse. But then after like a week it was gone. It only comes around now if i do something to cause it.

So try and give this a little more time to work through. If you cannot sleep, Benadyrl over the counter zonks me right out. Also a muscle relaxer. We have to come up with different ways to deal with the pain. The pain pills just don't work!! THey do for a bit and then your tolerance goes up and you need more and more and pretty soon, nothing helps. All it does is get our bodies so badly addicted and no relief from the pain.

This is short term
the other is loooooooooong term.

[charliecallie]

Jerri,

I introduced myself to you earlier today and we both are close in age.

I do understand the suicide thinking.  Posting those feelings is good.  Do not be afraid of posting how you truly feel.  I have felt suicidal numerous times during the withdrawal process and I have gotten to the point that I wanted to say, "I just can't take this anymore.  I am old and the withdrawals are going to kill me!"  

You will get better if you stay the course.  Put one foot in front of the other and each minute that goes by is closer to achieving your goal.

Keep posting everytime you feel suicidal.  Don't be afraid of it.  

-Chuck

[kim715]

I'm, really sorry you're in so much pain.I know when I stopped using it took a while for me to be able to manage my pain again with OTC medicines.I didn't have any tolerance for my pain anymore,I was used to not feeling anything at all.I'm comming up on 5 months clean and I have noticed a huge difference in my pain levels.I don't hurt nearly as much or as often as I used to,even while I was still using.Please don't do anything to harm yourself.You're on your way to getting your life back.I know it's hard and it hurts mentally and physically,but it does get better.So many of us have been where you are right now and we made it and you will make it too.Just keep talking,we're listening,you're not alone.You have people here who care and want to help.Keep posting........Kim

[cocobeanlisa]

I have followed your post and I understand true
pain..I too suffer on a daily basis (maybe not as much as you)

Suicide is a permanet solution for a tempoary problem.

This might not be true for you (I do not know the
extent of your pain) but for me when I first got
off of all of the pills my body made me thank the pain was greater
than it really was.  After about a month it decreased and in the
mean time I searched out DR's that could/would  treat me without narcotics.
I finally found one.  I will be honest that the narcotics did work better
but not at their cost.  My Dr gives me shots of Toradol, and traction, massages
saunas and such.  Hang in there.

Oh yes screaming also helps me feel better. (i scream at the sky, not
a person)
coco

[avisg]

Jerri,
Its bad right now. I know I have been where you are I remeber the first few months with narcotics for my jaws. I did not think I could stand even one more day .I had nonstop smashing headaches and ear aches .I took it day by day .I tried different muscle relaxers and OCT pain meds .I took supplements and with time it start getting better little by little and ya know without even knowing it one day. I realized wow I feel good .I was all so worth it .Day by Day is the way to go .Nothing is worth taking your life over it does get better :)