just tell me when it stops

[benwood25]

i have benn taking pain pills for ten years ever since i was 15 im done i jjust want to be normal i am not feeling very normal right know im shaky and just losing my mind i dont have any help from a doctor i am doing it on my own my wife thinks im being a pansy but i really cant control whats going on i feel like im dying im so over it JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL

[Psychoshadybich]

I responded..... Thanks.

[overeasy]

Psychoshadybich-  I sent you a private message:)

Overeasy-
Riding the day 9 wave

[Psychoshadybich]

by Psychoshadybich, Jun 17, 2011 08:07PM
I guess I am just like everyone else on here. I have never had a pill problem, but had a back injury about 8 years ago where I was prescribed pain meds for. I am a 31 year old college student who is married with two kids. I want to stop.... I am so sick of not being able to function without the meds, and it has gotten to the point where my prescription runs out and I have to buy them on the street, which is killing my marriage. I stopped taking them for about three weeks in January with the help of suboxone but because i have such excrutiating chronic pain, due to the pain, i started taking the oxys again. After that, i switched my doctor to a pain management specialist so I can begin getting the injections in my back and have been weaning off the meds, yes, I am taking less pain meds, but I'm  still spending at least 1000 dollars every two weeks, EASILY. I feel so  helpless... I really dont know what to do, I am seriously contemplating suicide, feeling that I can't do this to myself anymore, I'm ruining everything in my life. I want to do it c\t but I am absolutely terrified of ever feeling WD symtoms again, I don't want to take the suboxone bc the WD from that is just as bad if not worse than a WD from oxy, I feel so hopeless., detox is not an option for me, as I will have no one to care for my children. I read all of the comments on here, and it made me feel better knowing that there are others out there who are going thru the same thing..I hate myself for doing this to myself, and I feel that I was not properly educated on what this medicine would do to my life, or else I would have never started in the first place, yes I should have read up on it before taking it, but I didn't. All I knew was that I was having chronic pain imy back that I wanted to stop (I have 3 degenerated disks in my lumbar spine, and 3 herniated disks in my thoracic, with a number of pinched nerves) so the problem i have is whenever I attemp stopping, I can't even walk for 5 minutes without being in pain so i go right back to them... I just    want this to end, I HATE that I am a prisoner to these little blue pills, that control every ounce of my being...i am still a good student and a very good mother, I feel that my children deserve better, and this is one of the reason why I contemplate suicide so much, even though I am a good mother, I see no end to this problem, I feel screwed if I do and screwed if I don't, my husband has been supportive for so long that he had began to get really nasty about the money that i spend when I have to keep myself from being sick..I wish i never started this mess. Thx for the comments, some of them were really informative, but I think I have to decide this for myself, even though i feel like I have made the decision to stop, idk if i can handle the WD ( both physically and emotionally) so I have to figure it out on my own..

[overeasy]

Ok.  Deep breaths.  I know that withdrawal is scary but know that you can do this.  A lot of us on here got addict because of pain.  I have chronic back and leg pain.  I am hoping that after the withdrawal I will find that my pain is much less than I thought and I will be able to manage it with chiropratic care and OTC meds.  A lot of the old timers have seen this happen to them so I am going to assume it will be the same for me.  

Next step,  I want you to get yourself mentally ready for the withdrawal because it will be a bumpy ride but one well worth taking.  As Gnarly says- its 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental.  A good attitude will make the withdrawals more managable.  

Pick a date amd then stick to it.  If you need to taper because you have been on the Tramadol a long enough time (tramahater or dominosarah- will be better able to answer the questions about Tramadol) start now.  

Coming off 100 mgs can be done.  Its not that high of a dose that you have to worry about health problems unless you have underlining health issues like high BP or heart issues.  if that is the case I would definitely talk to a doc before CT.  Otherwise, you will be very uncomfortable but you will not die from it.  I just came off 110- 120 mgs/day oxycontin and percs so it is doable and there are many on here that have come off much higher doses and stronger opiates.  

Next,  get your ducks in a row.  Read up on the Thomas recipe, get immodium AD in the house, Ensure, bananas, Hylands for RLS, vitamins, etc.  It easier if you have them in the house before you start because the first and second days are a little rough.  

I think that covers most of it.  Hey, everybody, if I missed something please jump in:)

YOU CAN DO THIS!  

Overeasy-
Riding day 9!!!

[AloneAndAddicted]

Yes my friend your going to go thru some WD sry to say but we've all been there and can give you some tips on making it a little easier.  I couldn't taper it just dragged it out for me but that's a choice for you.  You need to search for the Thomas recipe to get advice on some amino acids.  Then imodium for the runs & cramps, anvil for the pain, Higlands restful legs for the leg cramps & jerking.  Lot's of fluids like gatoraid and vitamin water.  A good multivit/potassium/magnesium.  Hot showers with Epsom salts or hot baths to soak in with Epsom salts preferably.  Keep your mind and body busy and exercise whenever your body will let you.  Valerian root & melatonin for sleep & nerves.  Heating pad for aches & chills.  Most of all be honest, make a commitment, post often & pray!  You can do this!  There are many of us going through this @ the same time and together we will beat this addiction into the ground!  Take care & I'm here if you need me as are all the other awesome people on this sight!  Hunker down for the worse 5-7 days of flu you've ever had!

[summer_2010]

15-20 tramadol is a whole lot and it is dangerous to jump off such a high dose.. it is much safer to have a taper plan until you're down to maybe 6-10 a day and then do CT.. otherwise you are in a high risk of having seizures! :-(

It is doable to withdraw.. at the peak time of my addiction i've been on the same amount of tramadol like you are and I did cold turkey when i was on about 12-14 pills a day. It was not a safe thing to do and i was lucky i had no seizures.

How many days are you clean now?

[rush2112]

if your wife knows what you are going though (detox) have her read this site...she will not call you a wussy

[benwood25]

RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN TAKING HYDRO 10S AB OUT TEN A DAY THEN I WENT DOWN TO TAKING TRAMADOL 50MG ABOUT 15 TO 20 OF THOSE A DAY BUT IM JUST OVER LIVING DEPENDENT ON SOMETHING THAT HAS SO MUCH CONTROL OVER MY LIFE I JUST WANT SOME CONTROL BACK BUT I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT I REALLY DO HAVE BACK PROBLEMS AND THATS WHERE I HAVE GOTTEN MOST OF MY STUFF BUT THEY DONT LAST ALL MONTH SO THEN I BUY WHAT I NEED TO GET THROUGH THE REST OF THE MONTH AND I COULD HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE WITH ALL THAT MONEY AND THATS CRAZY!!!!  

[overeasy]

We are here.  Let us know whats going on and we will most likely be able to help or at least ease your mind but letting you know that everything you are feeling is NORMAL during withdrawal.

Overeasy-
I got day 8 in the bag- here's to day 9

[rush2112]

does your wife know you are detoxing?

[AloneAndAddicted]

Hi and welcome.  Take a deep breath and let's see if we can help you ok?  I'm in the middle of my 3rd day CT from Perc's & MS Contin of a couple of years.  This is my second time going CT.  There are alot of people more experienced than me with long clean times who can help.  Let's start with what did you use/how long/how much and we can give mote info.  You aren't being a wimp you are in WD from a very powerful brain altering drug!  Your wife may be understanding but she is unable to understand fully what your going thru if she hasn't been there herself....most can't.  Your in the right place & we'll try our best to help you through this.  

[summer_2010]

when did you take your last pill? what pills have you been taking?

generally it takes 4-7 days to be out of the worst if you do cold turkey. There are times during the withdrawal when you feel you die, you loose control, even the next minute in your life seems unachieveable. Been there a few days ago and it ***** BIG TIME. If you're shaky and tensed buy valerian root, high dose. It will calm you down and help you to rest.
IT WILL GET BETTER

It will get better. It is important that you don't touch the pills again. If you cannot detox on your own/if you had several relapses you MUST speak to a doctor who will further refer you to make sure you get the best care and support.