I feel like the biggest looser, I'm a big looser!!

[LONESOME]

Well time to confess, I don't know what I did wrong or were I went wrong but I really messed up and feel like I let a lot of ppl down. I'm back taking lortabs and no not the normal amount of it not as bad as before but I'm so afraid it will be gosh I was doing so good off for 6 months and then 10 days ago I just lost it and now I don't know what to do.
For those that don't know me I was on sub for 6 months on 1mg and then stress and started using again is been 10 days and now I want to stop and I feel like I don't know how, is it harder the second time around? I feel lost honestly my doctor dosen't know I still have some 2mg subs about 25 of them I just don't know if I can just switched again?
I need help please any one that can help me with this, I still have a hole 120 pills of lortabs 7.5 and I honestly don't want to wait till I run of them and I can't take time of that is out of the question my job takes so much from me I think that is what made me go back to pills.
What to I do? and do you think I got in trouble because I was on a too low dose of sub?

Thank you all  

[Mikeinthesouth]

you are just doing what our mnds expect from us but we can beat this once and for all and you are strong I remember many of your post and followed the posts and found them to be helpful just knowing I am not so alone in this............................................................................................................................. I am sure you can cold turkey it this time and I hope that is in your plan.................................................

[LONESOME]

Thanks so much for all the kind thing you all had to say to me and yes is more than my job it was also my tubelpregnancy and everything but I gen to my therapist today and I have a plan that will be done tomorrow so I will keep you all posted and thank all of you really.
GS

[cathy5841]

lonesome, you are not a looser...you are an addict...thats the nature of this beast...to con you into using again.  you have only been on the tabs for 10 days this go round...c/t should not be bad for you.  the sub is out of your system too.  why not give it a go.  RIGHT NOW, decide enough is enough.  its been said before, but i will say it again.  get some type of aftercare.  it essential to staying off drugs and living a clean life.  unless we know why we use and deal with it we continue to go back....please check it out and get back on track....

[addict200]

OK the good thing is it's only been 10 days so b4 this gets bad...back on the sub! You are NOT a loser! You have a disease and somedays we can fight and win and some days we slip, that's ok. Now we need to figure out why the slip. Is is just the job? Maybe you need to sit down with yourself and examine the reason you started using in the first place, maybe you need more aftercare or perhaps some more things need to be changed to give you the best chance possible to stay clean?
I don't have the answers, but what I do have is love and prayer and I'm sending you both. Just know you are not alone, recovery is a process that goes on forever.

[Rose703]

You're a very special friend to me and I never want to hear loser from you again! :-)

I relasped too and I just needed a few good patt's on my behind and I was once again headed in the right direction.

PM me anytime and we can talk!!

[enemy48]

Hey girl~

You and I go way back.  I know more about you than most people here so forget the Looser title.  There are no loosers here, especially you sweetie.

Put this behind you as a learning experience & pat yourself on the back for several reasons.  You're honest with us and yourself.  You did a great thing for several months and just had a slip.  Hello Me!

You made a great plan this last time and you'll do it again.

If you don't, you'll wind up dancing naked in the Vegas shows like me, and right on my side.....hee hee!  Sorry, not a time to make jokes, but I love you girl!

Don't be hard on yourself.  I might have to fly out to meet you.  That would be a disaster w/our history!

Please keep us posted and let us know of the Plan B.

Your friend always,
Pamela

[Coolio Hernendez]

Wow i have had the same thing happen to me before.......I was clean and then things start going on at work.....then i'm back.

They really make me the go to guy...in charge and thinking for 20-30 people at a time and making $10-100.000 dollar moves on any given day...........

I would jump back on sub.....if i had some i would be on them for sure...

[ochooked]

Totally agree with everything Worried said -- only thing is to wait about 6 hours before taking the Sub again -  then only one mg - then wait 30 minutes and take another one only if you really need it - you may be surprised.   Then whatever your taper was before just continue to do that - - -- Here is a 'biggie' though - those extra 120 pills - -- get rid of them -- they are going to be the cause of your relapse - and you know it - - so get rid of them - best thing you ever did - - shows everyone - even yourself, that you are serious about this.   Blessings and best to you.

[worried878]

i dont know if it was because u were on too little sub...u felt comfortable at 1mg? and were planning to do it long term?  people often cheat and do their doc and let the sub go for a while..unfortunate but true...it takes a week or so before u can feel the full effect of thepills u r taking and u may be having to take alot to feel high.....sub will not keep u from wanting to feel that high again...that escape and euphoria..it can help but as said before, it is a tool to help u along with determination, aftercare and prayers....when u r ready u can go back to the sub..sooner the better...ask ur doctor but people get off and go back on all the time....so u can do it ...relapse is part of this story...people seem to have to relapse to know the work that has to be done.....when u get back on track u will lookn back and feel a sense of power as u will see that the pills just dont so it anymore and there is a good chance it is taking u more and more to get high than before.......get back on track girl...it is a learning experience

[marcatj]

get rid of the lortabs and get back on the Sub.

this happened to me before...

you'll be fine.  but not if you hang on to those lortabs...

go flush 'em.  go do it now.  jump back on the sub and figure out what your trigger was, and what you can do differently next time this happens.

don't beat yourself up - it's a process.

but you can do something about it right now.  so go do it.  and feel good about it...

xxoo
mj

[ings81]

Your not a loser i relapsed yesterday i know how you feel and I am so sorry you are going through this **** it's so hard. I don't think it's hard second time around it's just plain hard. YOUR NOT A LOSER! I know the panic your feeling. Don't beat your self up over this I am here for you and your not alone and don't ever think your a loser.
I will be thinking of you x Ingrid x

[dominosarah]

You are not a loser.  This addiction is tough.  I wonder too about your job.  Stress is a big trigger for most of us.  Get back on your feet again and identify those triggers and try to come up with a plan that will help you.  I have no experience with sub either so hopefully someone who does will be on.  Dont beat yourself up over this.  You will get back on track again.  Stay strong               sara

[broknbck]

I'm afraid JoAnn is right.

And taking off time from work is an option. You may have to come to grips with your whole job thing. i had to quit my job. it was just too demanding of my back and really hard work. it was a steel factory, maching parts. Ahhh, so glad to be out of it too.

You are looking at the rest of your life here. Is this really the only job you can ever have?
Is this really the only life you can ever have?

[joann1975]

Oh honey...I'm sorry this has happened. The first thing I want to say is YOU ARE NOT A LOSER! Please don't beat yourself up...addiction is wicked..it's a tough battle. I have NO sub experience as you know... So I am not really sure what to advise you to do... I wish I could.

What I can do is offer you my support and if you need to chat I'm here for you. I do wonder though...you said your sub does was too low...but you mentioned your stressful job...that may be a huge trigger for you? I don't suppose career change is an option? I know that sounds major...but anything to stay sober sounds good to me!

I'm here if you need me and DON'T beat yourself up anymore!!!

Hugs,
JoAnn