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10996785 tn?1432812977

I get so down.

Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to feel "right". Over 80 days now and I still have terrible days. It wears you down. I've started with the restless legs now and I'm already taking medicine for it. (Neurontin) Man the nights are started to get me paranoid. I don't crave Xanax and I don't crave alcohol. I just crave serenity. I hate to sound so negative for others who are struggling, I guess some people it hits a little harder. I normally have more determination and a pleasant attitude towards things. I just get so down the past week or so. My dog even looks at me funny. What can I do? Can I do more? I actually felt more normal 84 days ago. I guess I'm just venting because I'm frustrated.
9 Responses
4522800 tn?1470325834
All you can do is give this more Time & Patience..Your Brain has to balance back from the drug use..This does take some time..I know it is so frustrating and sometimes you just want to give up. It took me almost 2 yrs for my brain to start to feel a balance, but I got clean back in 2012 at the age 56 and started using drugs at 14..Lots of yrs to undo or flip or untangle all the billions of wiring we have up stairs in that brain..Just hold on to just for today..As I was in recovery for a little over the last couple of yrs, I went through a long ash detox and a very intense one that took me many, many months physically. Then the mental came in waves at around my 7-8 month..During those 2 yrs I had lost most of my Family like my parents and my Dog who was my kid and lots of friends, then ended up with a stent put in my Heart..The ONLY reason I am telling you this is because Life will throw us some curve balls along the way..I had to UP my Support so many times and I had to add and change some groups I was tending..I also added grieving groups and more church and church base NA/AA..As time goes on you might want to add & remove a few things and try other support..However, I do still go to both AA/NA but not every day like I did. And I have not even had a drink in over 8-10 yrs.(I never can remember that one).I have other things I do now. SO be Safe, Be Patience and let Time tell you what has to be told..You will be OK!!
Bless
Avatar universal
Hi I second what vick  says  it was a good 90 days for me to even see a glimpse of hope I was 47 when I last detoxed the older you are the  longer your habit the harder it is  just hang in there this is a daily progam so try not to live in yesterday or tomorrow enjoy what God has for you today  I highly recamend N/A it will get you around like minded people  I often say the only way to do this wrong is to try to do it alone this is a ''we'' progam not a ''i'' progam it is time to become pro active in your recovery google N/A meetings in your area ......Gnarly
4522800 tn?1470325834
AMEN Gnarly!! And this guy has LOTS of time behind his belt and he gives all the credit to the rooms of NA...lol
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congrats on your clean time. You are doing awesome.
What meds are you still taking?
Get as much exercise, fresh air, sunshine as you can.
Lean protein, vegetables, fruit, cut out processed foods and sugars.
Keep yourself busy. Try not to dwell on your detox.

We all have bad days, detoxing or not. Learning to live life on its terms
Is key.
Are you attending therapy, support groups, church?
Please be patient with the process.
You are healing.
Time will be your healer.
Keep the faith.
Prayers, encouragement, and support.
Debbie
10996785 tn?1432812977
Thanks again to everyone. Right now my meds are about the same, just one more. (21 a day) My Psychiatrist operates a Health Management & Integrative Psychiatric Medicine Facility. I'm active in three different groups. DBT Skills, DBT Process, and MBSR. Mindful based Stress Reduction. I see a therapist a long with my doctor. I also see my PCP once every two weeks now. Most of my time at the doctors is spent on recovery. I'm going to start a group on Spirituality. Since I'm still not driving (I can't see straight-Neurontin) I have to go by driver availability. I'm happy with my plan except my meds do need adjusted.

I've definitely become more depressed along with the anxiety. I'm home alone way to often but that's not something that can be controlled. I read how others have had such hard times and I begin to feel down about myself. It seems like such a long time ago I started this journey and it's tougher now that the start. I should visit this site more often and allow myself the benefit of others experiences. Today is not a good day I'm sorry to say. I don't know why I say things like that out loud?  Gotta roll, Maybe a load of laundry. Already made the bed. I'm depressed again.
Avatar universal
I'm 5 days in on oxycodone withdrawl. It's reading about ppl like you that have kept me from using. Even the way you're feeling now after so many days of being clean and you still keep at it!! Good for you man,and thank you!!
10996785 tn?1432812977
Krissy. That's the spirit. Together we can make it. You made my day, so in return I will get through today with you in mind. NO! Thank You Krissy. It is the small things that will get us through. Keep up the great attitude. ike

Avatar universal
Oh honey, you are singing my song.  I'm 61 days today, and I feel pretty down these days.  Yesterday I was at the oral surgeon's office to have SIX sutures removed from my gums...it hurt SO BAD, I was literally laying there with tears rolling down my cheeks.  

The dentist, (not my usual one) told me he could send me home "with a little something for the pain.' and I practically leaped out of the chair and yelled "NOOOOOOO!"   He took a step back and said "maybe you'd better explain."  And so I did...the whole miserable story of my 8 years dependence on opiates and how hard won these past 2 months have been.

He then said "I have experience with this too (He didn't elaborate, but I got what he was saying.")   He THEN said "it will be six months before you feel normal again....but I have a newfound respect for you."  

That made me feel a million times better.   The hygienist also said "Wow, almost everyone we offered pain pills to, jumps at them."  

This is hard; most of the really amazing things in life are difficult.   You are doing fantastic, and this WILL get better with time.  

I find that if I focus on myself, I'm miserable.  Only by helping others do I pull myself out of ME, and begin to feel better.  

Hang in there, my friend...prayers coming right at you..

-Robin
10996785 tn?1432812977
Wow! What a great story. Your great determination is contagious. I feel we all feed off each other here. Keep the focus and remember you are not alone. Take stock in your good moments and let them carry you through the days and the nights. They all tell me to keep busy and it does help. Bless you 127.   ike
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