I had the most awful cravings today!

[LeaAnn807]

Hey everybody!  I had the most debilitating cravings today.  They seemed to go on forever!  I have not had any this bad since I got clean in March.  It was absolutely miserable.  I have had cravings before, lots of times, but they are usually over in about 30 minutes, and I am able to fight them off.  Not today.  It took everything I had in me to not use.  I don't really even know why it happened????  I have a lot going on but nothing that should have caused that.  THEN.....my internet went down and was out most of the day.  I was ready to be shot at that point!!!!! : )  

I went to a meeting, but I really didn't even want to do that.  I think all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself and try to figure out why it was happening??? I don't know what good I thought that would do.  I'm just not used to feeling that kind of weakness.  I'm usually a tough one, but today I felt weak all over!  It lasted so long that now I can't even go to sleep and feel exhausted from it.  Like....it took a lot out of me physically and emotionally?  Does that make sense?  

So, if you guys can, please send some prayers up for me or good vibes or positive energy or whatever helps!!!  If today is any indication of what tomorrow will be like, I'm in serious trouble!!!!!

Thanks!  I'm so proud of all of you for fighting so hard with me to beat this!!! : )  

[LeaAnn807]

I know you are right!  I'm just not used to this insecure, nutty feeling, like I'm losing it!  I'm usually super positive, and this is just making me feel crazy!

I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, and if it's not for some reason, I will handle it just like I did today.  I know I can, but I enjoy life a lot more when I am confident and happy and not disappointed in myself!

[dominosarah]

I will pick you up on my broomstick....I can carry passengers on Halloween!!!

[LeaAnn807]

Bahahahahahahaha!  First time I have smiled in hours!  If you will go as a bat for Halloween, I'll go as myself....Broomstick and all!

[dominosarah]

Excellent point Laurel about the fears not being facts.

[gnarly_1]

LOL at you being a bat....you do keep some late hours

[dominosarah]

Tram, i will be here as long as you need me to be......I am the forum "bat"!!!(probably in more ways than one!!!)