I just simply need a little support

[mybabytwins]

I am a first time Dad of twins, 51 years old, with both of my shoulders having full rotator cup tears. Approx. 5 months ago I went to a pain clinic with MRI's in hand and was given a script for hydrocodone 10/325 - 6 per day. Well as time went by I found myself taking more and more until I ran out last weekend. My last pill was Saturday. I have been getting a few from a neighbor to hold me over however this time he was out. So I am on day 3 now and last night with some help from Melatonin I got some sleep. My wife works as a full time nurse and I stay at home with the little angels. I am suppose to go to the clinic on Thursday but considering the hell I have been going through I don't want to take them anymore. I want to be the best Dad I can be. I do have a past (9 years ago) cocaine addiction that I was able to stop via a 60 day treatment program. I don't want to be these pills anymore, I want to be free and clean from the daily schedule of living my life around a pill. I was probably taking between 7-9 10's per day. My head feels cloudy, I feel anxious, my shoulder pain is tolerable. I am taking Imodium for the runs and that seems to be helping me, along with some magnesium and potassium for the RLS's. I guess my question is....how long knowing that I have been on these pills for 5 months now will it take for me to begin to feel like a normal human being. I will not go back to the clinic. I want to be the best Daddy I can be to my little babies. I love them sooooooo much, and they give me the strength to stop taking them.

[mybabytwins]

Well it was a good 4th day coming off 7-8 hydros per day for the past 5 months. My wife and I took the kids to the indoor pool down the mountain..had a great day. However I really had another hard night getting to sleep:( It just that I can't get comfortable, my skin feels really really dry and my legs continue to be very restless. Does anyone know how much longer this will be the case? Also, I just called my pain specialist and told them that I would no longer be coming to there office for my script. I am 100% DONE with opiates!!!!

[clean_in_ks]

Good on ya!   So HAPPY to hear you aren't going!

On a sorta sorry/sad/yep I'm really an addict kinda note...too bad I new what an M357 was, huh?  LOL

And maybe that has some unique Wisdom in it...having an imodum in one hand and a narcotic pill in the other....the power of choice for life, eh?

[mybabytwins]

No way will I be going to that appointment tomorrow!!!! Funny how I had in one hand the Imodium and the other this M357. Thanks for the support guys!!!

[clean_in_ks]

GOOD JOB!!!  I too forumulated an "ahead of time plan" just in case I found a pill or two.  I decided that NO MATTER WHAT, I would walk directly to the garbage disposal and grind the little s*cker up!  If I "delayed" in any way, shape or form....it would have been down my throat at sonic speed.
So glad you did what you did....and if I understand the last part of your comment....you AREN'T going to get your refill tomorrow right?  

Congrats on DAY 4, btw!!!!!!

[tooter212]

You've got to be so proud of yourself. Be sure to thank the Lord for the strength to do so. Hang in there. God Bless

[mybabytwins]

A comment to myself...Day 4 and last night was tough, did get some sleep though. Today I was doing some laundry and in one of my jeans pocket I must of had a 10mg hydro. I was actually heading to the kitchen to take some Imodium and there right on the floor was this little white pill. Picked it up and sure enough M357. I wanted to take that thing so bad and tomorrow is my appointment to get 180 more pills. I handed that pill to my wife and asked her to flush it down the toilet. Man I am so happy that I didn't take it, I don't know that I would have the strength to not go tomorrow. Talk about a real test!