I really need help!!!!!!!!!

[FreeAtLast630]

I have been addicted to narcotic pain pills for over 5 years. I've used vicodin, vicoprofen, lortab, percocet, tylenol #3/4, fioracet(has barb and not opiate, but kept away w/drawals nonetheless) ultracet, and tramadol. I've dabbled with morphine, methadone and oxycontin, but could count on one hand the # of times I have tried those last 3 the past 5 years. Anyway, after eating through 120 tramadol and 60 vicoprofen in the past 2 weeks or so, I found myself completely out yesterday. My dr. appointment isn't for 2 weeks, and I refuse to call or come in with some lame "my dog ate it" excuse, and I can't afford(and dont even know anyone) to buy off the street. I decided enough was enough...I'm tired of living this way. I kicked all this a few months ago, and I thought maybe I was done with it, but less than a month later, I was back at it again. My thing is, NOBODY knows that I have this addiction but myself. My husband certainly doesn't know(he knows I take pain meds occassionally for my back, which is seriously messed up, but i think ibuprofen would do wonders...but he doesn't know i'm addicted).  I have 3 little kids to take care of, and can't afford to spend a week in bed. PLEASE if u have any suggestions for things that could help with withdrawal without me having to go to the dr, I could really use the advice. I know I've got to go through this, and I know it won't be painless, but its gotta be better than it is...I feel like I'm ready to crawl outta my skin, and sleep? yeah right! My heart is about to beat out of my chest, even when I'm just sitting here, and the anxiety is killer. Any suggestions would be a huge help.

[FreeAtLast630]

of course, you're right. I don't want to even go back to the dr @ my appt time, because I know I will just reassure him that my currents meds are working great, and stroll to the nearest pharmacy with my scripts. With that in mind, I DID tell my husband...who then told me he already suspected I had a problem, but was trying to find a way to approach it without me getting defensive and shutting down on him. I'm still not calling my dr...when I go back in 2 weeks, I'm bringing my husband for support(and to keep me honest). He wasn't upset like I thought he would be at all...he was really understanding, and even got a few ambien off his brother to help me sleep at night. I haven't decided if I want to take them, yet, or not, but it would be better than being up all night with the creepy crawlies again.....

[ochooked]

Ditto to the above posters -- --  If you just try to hide this you will get in deeper and deeper -  take it from one who knows and also many many who are part of this site - - -- If we could control ourselves - we would have done so --- It may be that you will have to hit bottom really hard - which is where you are heading if you don't 'fess up' and tell both your doctor and your husband - --- Yes, it is very difficult to admit that we are an addict - - but I can promise you that it will be the best thing you can do -- - they both can help you ---  It's time to trust those you love and who say they love you.   Do it girl -- don't keep playing the game - - it can be deadly.   I wish you the best ----- I also recommend you share with your pastor or priest/ spiritual leader.  Truth is cleansing and will give you a great source of strength and help.   Blessings;  Ochooked

[wannabefree330]

John is right.  You've got to come clean about what's going on if you want to stay sober.  Otherwise it's going to be that much easier next time.  If you can get your doctor to call in some clonidine it will help with the heart racing (and even helped me w/some of the anxiety).  I know you can't afford to be laid up for a week with 3 little ones, but you really can't afford to continue using the pills this way either.  Talk with your hubby.  Let him know what you're going through.  And keep posting, we want to help.  Get the vits on the thomas recipe-they help with the aching, and did great for my RLS.  When it got bad in the night, i ate a banana and took an extra vitamin.  Worth a try?

[johnnykelly]

Hi,as soon as your capable youll get that prescription refilled,as that is what ive done over and over again.If you are Truly sincere with yourself tell the dr. that you have an increasing dependance,also why not get honest with your husband.Our secrets are what keeps us sick.All the best john

[GoingToMakeIt]

You may be in for a rough week. Be very careful. Coming off of Tramadol cold turkey can be dangerous due to possibility of seizures. Look in the Health Pages near the top of page for the Thomas Recipe. Tons of other info there too.