Im finaly quitting the hydro's

[addictedphotographer]

Im done today. I have been taking hydro's for about 6 years now. I am up to taking 12-15 7.5 a day. Before I came to college it was easy to stay on them cause my grandma and grandpa and mom were all on them and they would help me out when I ran out. But now that im an hour away from them and my grandma passed away I am having a hard time keeping enough around to support my addiction. I have a wonderful girl now and a baby on the way (March 31st) and I am tired of hunting 20 days or more out of the month for a ******* pill. Its just not worth it anymore. I have to start saving money for the baby. My g/f went to the store to get me the thomas recipe. Im starting it soon as she gets back. I have went through about 4 days of W/D at the most but never more then that so im pretty sure i'll be chatting away here in about 4 days. I hope yall can help. I havnt taking any hydros at all today. I'm just achy at the moment but I know its coming.

[addictedphotographer]

Things are going ok right now. The emotional rollorcoaster seems to have taken a break for a few hours at least. I just talked to him and he is doing well. He says its amazing how clouded his mind was. He says its weird to have emotions all of a sudden. My whole family knows where he is and they all think he has balls for doing what he is doing for the betterment of our family and they all want him to get better. My mom and dad are already calling him son and we are not even married yet. Im going to go shopping today and then he has and AA meeting and I found out that I can attend and its at 8:00 so you know that I will be there supporting him and helping him in any way possible. Thanks again everyone for all your kind owrds and I will continue to post. I know not everyday will be as good as the moment is right now and Im going to find out where the counseler is here at school and see if that helps; Thanks again!

[findhappiness]

Sweetie...I wish I could give you a hug right now.  IBKleen is right about everything.  You need to take a couple of deep breaths when you start to panic.  One of the things that has helped me recently is a simple breathing exercise.  Slowly take a deep breath in through your nose and fill up your lungs.  Then Slowly exhale and count "1".  Continue slowly breathing and counting after each breath (2,3,4,etc.) until you count to 10.  I often find that I lose count  before I get to 10.  You really do need to keep yourself calm, at least for the baby's sake.  

As far as your classes go: you have baby brain!!!  Don't feel stupid.  Don't give up.  .  Your boyfriend is away right now.  You have time to get some help with your classes. I'm sure that someone who is doing well in your classes would be able to help tutor you.  I know you may not feel like facing anyone at school right now either, but you could just explain to them that you are pregnant,  one of your family members is very ill, and that you'd rather not discuss it right now.  That should explain your emotional state and no one would turn you down.  You might  discuss your situation with a counselor and they MAY be able to get you extra time on your tests or extend dates on some schoolwork.

I'm sorry you can't talk to your family.  I can't tell anyone either.  It is so hard having a newborn at home and not having the support of my family when I need it most.  This forum has been so helpful to both my husband and myself.  Keep posting here and you will get support.  You might also consider posting on the community forum.  I will look for you there,  too.

[IBKleen]

First of all: Take a deep breath! You are going a hundred miles a minute. You need to take care of YOU right now. You have a little life inside of you who is depending on you. You need to calm down.

Rahab is the best place for him right now. He will gain the tools he needs to find the source of the problem that fuels his addiction.They will set him up with an aftercare plan to help him stay clean. He cannot do that alone.

The best way you can help him is to help yourself. Find a support group as it was suggested. You are not alone. You have this forum and in the support group you will find people who are going thru the same thing you are.

Take care of yourself hun and keep posting.

Big hugs at ya............

[addictedphotographer]

thanks for your help first of all. I am having a particularly rough day right now. I am the only one not getting it in my classes. I feel like i have no idea what im doing. I jsut want ot quit and do something simple that I already know I can do. Im so frustrated because I have never not known what i was doing and i dont have a whole lot of people to talk to because everyone is so far away or they cant know all of this situation or whatever so they dont think Im realy going through muchy and they cant understand why things are so hard for me. I just recently went thorugh an divorce in addition to all of this and i feel like my emotions are on a rollar coaster and all i want to do is get off. i really need a hug right now but there isn't anyone who can give that to me. the tears jsut keep poring down my face and i cant stop them and i dont know if im overreacting because im pregnant or what. I  jsut want a hug and for someone to tell me everythings going to be ok and then they make it that way.  thanks again for your words of wisdom because this forum is the only thing keeping me from feeling truely alone right now. Thanks

[findhappiness]

I'm findhappiness' wife.  First of all- Happy Birthday!!!  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  My husband and I just had a baby boy; he is just over 18 weeks old.  My hubby just told me 3 weeks ago that he had been taking hydro and oxy for the past two years.  He has now been clean for 17 days, and he's feeling so much better (so am I).  One of the really hard things for me were all of the lies!!!  I did not know that he was taking them...I did know that was something wrong, he just didn't seem to be the same person I married.  I'm sure you understand what a toll this addiction can take on a person.  You have been going through this with your boyfriend, too.  I understand that you feel overwhelmed...that you need to be taking care of him on TOP of everything else you are going through.  Being pregnant is a very special time in your life and I know it is hard living without him right now.  This time will pass and he will be home before you know it...when you will REALLY need him.  The best thing you can do to help him is to take care of yourself and your baby.  Don't let fear and depression take hold of you...go speak to a school counselor if you need someone to talk to in person.  I will look for your posts on here.  What you and your boyfriend are going through is very tough stuff, but he is doing everything in his power to make things better for you and your precious little one.  Please take care of yourself...and don't worry about the house right now.  He can help you with that when he gets home.  He'll need something to keep busy with until the baby comes!!!

[addictedphotographer]

   Thanks for all of your advice. I looks like he will be able to drop out of school to go to rehab and be able to come back in the spring. AFter the first 30 days in rehab He will be allowed to come out on weekends and they said since I am pregnant he will be allowed to escort me to all of my appt so he wont be missing out  on things with the baby. He says he has not felt this good in over 7 years. Im still scared. I knmow no matter what he is going and I will do whatever it takes to make sure of it no matter how much I end up crying in the end. I wont pick him up from the facility to leave until they say so. I just still feel scared of being alone and because I have no choice but to continue working and going to school the chance of me attending any meetings or AA is slim to none. I will still see if I can find out when they are for the rare occasion in which Im of and have no homework nad cant visit him.  I still feel guilty i found out he burst into tears after I told him how i was feeling and he got off the phone with me so I really did make things worse for him and for that I am truely sorry. I dont want to make things harder on him because they're hard on me. I just miss him so much already, I dont know what to do with myself to occupy my time when im not working or in school. My room is a disaster zone and I have absloutely no motivation to do anything about anything. my birthday is tomorrow and i just wish more than anything i could see him but i know that wont happen. I wont get to even see him until next tuesday and thats just because i have an appt the next wont be until the next weekend for about an hour or so depending on how much time he has earned and if he is making progress otherwise i wont see him at all. If this is so right and so improtant to continue our lives for the better why do I feel so selfish and guilty and affraid it will all fall apart. I was married to someone else before who was into drugs and it tore us up in the end. I dodnt want to lose what I have with him and I dont want to do anything to mess it up. What can I do to help him other that to make sure he stays in rehab because that is set into stone no matter how much it hurts. I want to know what else I can do to support him to the fullest of my potential? Please help!