Im finaly quitting the hydro's

[addictedphotographer]

Im done today. I have been taking hydro's for about 6 years now. I am up to taking 12-15 7.5 a day. Before I came to college it was easy to stay on them cause my grandma and grandpa and mom were all on them and they would help me out when I ran out. But now that im an hour away from them and my grandma passed away I am having a hard time keeping enough around to support my addiction. I have a wonderful girl now and a baby on the way (March 31st) and I am tired of hunting 20 days or more out of the month for a ******* pill. Its just not worth it anymore. I have to start saving money for the baby. My g/f went to the store to get me the thomas recipe. Im starting it soon as she gets back. I have went through about 4 days of W/D at the most but never more then that so im pretty sure i'll be chatting away here in about 4 days. I hope yall can help. I havnt taking any hydros at all today. I'm just achy at the moment but I know its coming.

[3 1/2 yrs sober]

YOu have to let him go!  You should try to find an Al-Anon meeting or another meeting for families of addicts or alcoholics!  It would benifit you so much.  Also stay on here and keep talking to people because everyone can help!  I would try to look at it like this, if you let him go right now for a short time, he will come back and be so much better for you and the baby.  If he doesn't go and starts using again, it could kill him and then you would be without him forever!  I don;t mean to scare you but addiction is a very real and scary thing, and it will/can kill you.  I know, I almost killed myself one night by accident!  

[addictedphotographer]

I told him some of what your comments were but he realized that i was leaving things out. I told him that i asked for some help for myself and he asked me to tell him what for because he thought there whs something wrong between us. I started crying and I read all of your comments to him since hes ben there. He told me hes doing this for me and the baby and as long as he can get out of school without it being too much of a problem then he needs to go to this program and I want him to. I also told him how scared I was and how i am afriad of going back to being depressed while hes away. I am still crying and now I feel really guilty because on top of everything else he is trying to do for me hes worrying about me on top of that and Im to blame. I feel guilty for adding to his pain and suffering because Im scared. I want to do whats right thats why i didn't want to tell him but now he knows and now its just going to make things worse for him and its all my fault because I cant handle being alone. Guilty

[3 1/2 yrs sober]

Please trust me on this one!  I know from 1st hand experience, LET HIM GO!  You will thank me someday for this advice if you follow it!

[Overit1076]

I know it must suck to go through this alone, But, think about it.  If he gets better now, you will have 100% of him focused on you.  Right now, he's mind is focused on the negative.  Let him get better, so he can be there for you fully.  YOu'll appreciate it and see a difference in the end.  

You don't want someone who's mind is clouded and who has poor judgement around you and your baby.  I know, cuz i use to be so much worse than I am now.  I know what's it's like to have your head in the clouds and not dealing with reality.  Relax, go to support groups for yourself while he's away.  It'll work out for the best, i promise you, you'll be alright.

[addictedphotographer]

Heres the thing we're both in college and I dont really know anyone here.MY family is over an hour away and there truck drivers so their very rarely home. His family is also an hour away. So I guess thats the reason I am so scared of him going is because I will truely be alone. I know its whats best for him and I can already tell from talking to him about the program in the first place that he wants to go. Im just scared because there is no one to take care of me and I suck at finances and taking care of myself because I haven't ever really done it. I had the military  or a guy or my family always do it. I dont really know how to take care of myself and now with this baby on the way it scares  me more. Plus I dont want him to miss out on things with the baby like its first kicks and what the sex actually is and all the things like that. He wasn't supposed to be able to have kids so this might be the only time he can ever feel the kicks and htings like that. There might not be another opportunity. Plus again Im just scared of being alone! What can I do to fix that. I tried making friends last night plus whenever hes in class and I just dont have very much luck and then everyone leaves during the weekends and goes home so I would be stuck here by meyself anyway. Im just really scared. I want him better and I want whats best for him but I amm SOOOOO AFRAID of being alone.

[marcatj]

hi.... i think if you can have patience, he should go.

ultimately, that IS what's best for you and your baby.  your baby's father having a better chance at staying drug free.  a short period of time - al biet hard - is worth a very long time of happiness.  of which your odds are greater the longer he spends on getting clean.

i think you know this answer though, already.

i would suggest leaning on others in your life for support now, and knowing that him going is the best shot for all 3 of you at long term happiness...  and before you know it, he'll be home.  3 months is a drop in the bucket and will be over quickly.

(btw - i'm afraid i will be logging off shortly because of my back, but i will be back on tomorrow...)

hold strong tho... in your heart of hearts, you KNOW this is, again, the best shot at long term happiness for all of you.  which is a heck of alot better than a coupla months... dontcha think?

you know what to do....

take good care,
mj