Aa
Im so scared
I'm not gonna lie to ne1 on here I came here looking for how much kilonopin I needed to mix with wat methadone I might still get in order to fall asleep for good cuz I'm so scared of what's about to happen....
Been on methadone bout 5 yrs steady not messed up 99 mlgs for past 3 yrs til bput month ago I started weinin( I live in Sacramento n don't qualify for media Cal at 27 so I'm forced to pay $285 a month) I got down to 75 in like just under 2 mos n want to continue to taper BUT I'm out of money bad leg and shattered my heels bout 3 years ago and outta money living at home with mom who already makes me feel icky just when she looks at me so I hide away... now I'm outta money n ways to make it n am not gonna steal have n have NO coming in to pay fees.... I'm barely at a steady 75 mgs still having bad Mornings... and they are gonna put me on a 21 day detox(10% of my dose every 2 days til 21 pass) nobody understands in my family that I try to talk to so now all I wanna do is end it before this HORRIBLE 25% of pain Im feeling from wein already turns into 150% unlivable pain in a couple weeks.... I keep saying I need to just get 3 more months to wein and then they can put me on 21 day but I'm outta money can't make any and they want $285 a month but I don't have the money nor way to make it nor the family to pull together n help me thru this rough time.... I'm shaking scared and there is no way to prepare myself I mean I am terrified I need more time to we in..... idk this isn't even me to come to this place n write this but I saw no stories like ,one where there hand was being forced into withdrawals... I'm scared and now I'm gonna lay in bed for a month unable to move according to one guy n I believe it... of course the phyciatrist there gave me kilonopin for my anxiety like 2 months ago so now I got that addiction too and I haven't been high in idk even how long..... I don't wanna end up in emergency room with them saying there nothing they can do but try an find a state bed for ya.... it all honestly doesn't seem worth it nor do I deserve it I've been doin nothing wrong not goin n getting high so that makes it even harder to accept... if anyone out there can give me he ideas or words of wisdom that understand where I'm at or even California laws n ways around gettin on media Cal for sure please let me know.... this starts this Tuesday and I'm terrified sitting in room just idk I don't think I can do it.... IM SO SCARED AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THE STIGMA PEOPLE PUT ON U FOR BEIN ON IT UGH IDK LET ME KNOW NE1......
Been on methadone bout 5 yrs steady not messed up 99 mlgs for past 3 yrs til bput month ago I started weinin( I live in Sacramento n don't qualify for media Cal at 27 so I'm forced to pay $285 a month) I got down to 75 in like just under 2 mos n want to continue to taper BUT I'm out of money bad leg and shattered my heels bout 3 years ago and outta money living at home with mom who already makes me feel icky just when she looks at me so I hide away... now I'm outta money n ways to make it n am not gonna steal have n have NO coming in to pay fees.... I'm barely at a steady 75 mgs still having bad Mornings... and they are gonna put me on a 21 day detox(10% of my dose every 2 days til 21 pass) nobody understands in my family that I try to talk to so now all I wanna do is end it before this HORRIBLE 25% of pain Im feeling from wein already turns into 150% unlivable pain in a couple weeks.... I keep saying I need to just get 3 more months to wein and then they can put me on 21 day but I'm outta money can't make any and they want $285 a month but I don't have the money nor way to make it nor the family to pull together n help me thru this rough time.... I'm shaking scared and there is no way to prepare myself I mean I am terrified I need more time to we in..... idk this isn't even me to come to this place n write this but I saw no stories like ,one where there hand was being forced into withdrawals... I'm scared and now I'm gonna lay in bed for a month unable to move according to one guy n I believe it... of course the phyciatrist there gave me kilonopin for my anxiety like 2 months ago so now I got that addiction too and I haven't been high in idk even how long..... I don't wanna end up in emergency room with them saying there nothing they can do but try an find a state bed for ya.... it all honestly doesn't seem worth it nor do I deserve it I've been doin nothing wrong not goin n getting high so that makes it even harder to accept... if anyone out there can give me he ideas or words of wisdom that understand where I'm at or even California laws n ways around gettin on media Cal for sure please let me know.... this starts this Tuesday and I'm terrified sitting in room just idk I don't think I can do it.... IM SO SCARED AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND THE STIGMA PEOPLE PUT ON U FOR BEIN ON IT UGH IDK LET ME KNOW NE1......
I remember these first days, I am amazed at your progress. From 0 to hero in a week in a half. Yet another miracle.
Wow my status today is def not guy that started this post.... Thanks for idea rosy.... Wow... I really have came long way... I almost don't even wanna bring it back up lol... Wow u guys helped save me... Wow... I'm tripping out right now...
Wow mojo I am bad right now n can't sleep but I feel like hell n u got me crying like a baby like I haven't even heard of u n u went thru that for me n to let me know..... AND to tell me u been watching me thank u thank u so much I'll try an find it.... Wow thank u....
I'll be right here! Yell out and I'll probably appear! Lol. Everyone here has done me a world of good!! I would probably chime in more if I were on the laptop, or if I weren't still trying to run the world while I changed my life! I'll rear my head again! And Digger? Thanks for the warm welcome! You've made me feel quite at home!
WantANewLife?? I've been routing for you since you appeared and scared me to death! You've made incredible strides! I'm so proud! Keep pushing! I know you can!
WantANewLife?? I've been routing for you since you appeared and scared me to death! You've made incredible strides! I'm so proud! Keep pushing! I know you can!
Well its nice of you to drop in, you should hang about my friend, we can only do good for each other on here. With you liking your music you will fit in just fine, lol. I'm always looking for new music to chase down, i have the Mojo album playing away now, thank you for that.
WantARealLife/WARL you are doing amazing by the way keep it up mate, just think a couple of weeks from now, everything will be improving, not long to wait for a new life and a new outlook on EVERTHING!!! Your rocking it!!!
WantARealLife/WARL you are doing amazing by the way keep it up mate, just think a couple of weeks from now, everything will be improving, not long to wait for a new life and a new outlook on EVERTHING!!! Your rocking it!!!
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