The mental part is the humdinger for me as well....i think it just takes a while to get our brains back to functioning normally and many can not wait thru the depression and or fatigue that comes with ...and relapse...i know as it is creeps up on me many days...and most that say they never crave months after quitting are probably not being totally honest.........that pill language after 4 months is still engraved in my mind as the answer to everything...has gotten better but still there....but i do know the longer i go the better this will be...if i only knew about all this mental **** way back when...oh well....tis a challenge that does not go away in a week
Well put post. We do need to let people know that it isn't a cake walk staying clean. I feel very fortunate that my w/d was minimal. but I have had more than my fair share of depression and PAWS.
To all: It is a battle, prepare yourself so that you don't get blind sided.
Wonderful post! Thanks for always posting such great posts.
i will sum it up, 20 days you start feeling happy and like a human but no where near free. Im about day 60 i think and im about 100% as i ever was so it does take time and its slow week to week. You just gotta relize that life sucks most of the time and thats life. Life will be your biggest excuse and trigger. Your fight isnt saying no to the drugs, its saying yes to life. Gotta make your own happiness now and not get it in pill form. Sorry no easy answers. Lifes hard for the duration and thats the point. Stay busy, positive, and get a new hobby.
Thank you so much for sharing! Last week I took 100mg. of hydro every day, and I have not had any since Sunday. I finally told my husband last night what has been going on w/ me. It was very emotional and hard to tell him. Today is the first day that I have felt somewhat normal. I still feel sick to my stomach and depressed. It has been hard b/c I have been at work and have been feeling so bad. But what you said really hit home. I don't want to start feeling better in a few days and go back to the doc to get more. I have to prepare myself, so thanks again for the info!
I can't find paws or how to intervene on a craving. Can someone tell me exactly where to look, I can be somewhat of a nitwit.
Near the top right of pages is a 'Health Pages' link. PAWS and so much more is in there.
yes great post, as you said the mental part is the hardest. us being addicts and when we go through rough times we all want quick fix to make it go away. but we cant do that or we will return to the pills for everything. and i do see alot of folks that are clean for a while and doing so good and bam!! they are gone. my dad (a recovering alcholic) said he has seen more people relapes when the think they are great and can handle social use. i agree learn about addiction and learn about your self and why you like to numb yourself from the world. the mental part i hard but everyday you stay clean they do get better a farther apart.
GREAT POST Corey!!!!! I totally agree!!
Good post! Glad to again see people come back and post what they have found and went through. I myself am on day 17 and having problems with the fits of fatigue. I plan on posting some questions on it. Just glad to see honest posts. God bless.
My story is not completely written, but, this is my 3rd time trying to quit. This last round has been the hardest, with me losing time with my family and work, but a week or so of tough w/d's is the price I have to pay.
My family doesn't know what is going on. I tell them I am sorry I have such a bad "FLU". My GF, is looking at me, and telling me I am just depressed. Little does she know. It is hard when you have to fight this alone. Only one other person knows about my problem, and she is a long-time friend who does not judge me. She supports me, and I love and thank her for that.
The first time I came down, I lasted a month. W/D's were not bad, because I tapered, and my life was not demanding. Went back to them just because I liked the feeling. ALSO, I have to point out, to some folks' dismay, or agreement that I functioned completely normally in life on the medicine, ( NORCO 10/325 , 12-15 a day) for quite a while. As a matter of fact they gave me "clarity" I didn't always have sometimes. BUT, I say this not to promote useage, but that at some point when the drug "makes" you "normal", there is REALLY NO POINT IN CONTINUING TAKING. Why?, when the original intent is to get high? For the longest time, I wasn't getting that "ahhhh" feeling from taking. ... even at the levels I did. THIS is.... what made me try again to be done with this stuff. I am taking things a day at a time and certainly it is early for me, at day 5. But, the reality is I can feel "normal" without searching... paying.... wasting time... looking.... and allowing a drug that essentially is doing NOTHING for me... take up so much of my life's time. I feel bad right now. I am trembling, mis-typing ( I type 60 WPM, (lots of mistakes), but I do it! ALONG with all the other withdrawal problems of nervousness, anxiety, pain, and the rest... AND worse , my family asking me every day, dad? Honey? Is there something really wrong with you? I mean afterall you "STILL" have the "flu"??????
Yes family... I am 48 after all, and not SuperMan anymore. Remember, we do get older, and it takes longer to get over illnesses. IF THEY ONLY KNEW. Whilst on the drugs, they remember me, SuperMan, working and coming home and again handling the household stuff, cooking, fixing, beind a dad, lover, and EVERYTHING, usually until 11-12 at night. Now, I look for bed at 7pm, and they are saying dad, honey, are you ever gonna get better?
..... I smile and look them in the eyes, and say YES, I am and when I do, watch out!!!!
I know how hard it is to go through this alone, but last night I ended up telling my husband what has been going on. I can't tell you what a relief it was, and he does not really know anything about addiction, but he was so supportive. I feel like now that I have told someone that I am really going to do this. Remember we are only as sick as our secrets. I promise you will feel so much better once you share! Good luck to you!
Thanks Worried GMMI and Joann- I saw your posts late lastnight and the thread was almost at the bottom and I thought Wow, wrote all that and you guys all probably have already been there and realize the points. Was hoping that more folks that were beginning and out lurking and thinking about quitting were reading too.
Puranx-congrats on about day 60. Glad you are feeling so much better. I'm probably at around 70 days and still not as great as I'd like to be. Mostly i get depression and anxiety. Still only 5-6 hrs sleep but can really say the days are getting more consistently good than not. Still craving and should be exercising more bc I know from previous times how much it helps. I do feel over the hump at least.
Korley-Hope you found PAWS with the info GTMI gave you. If not send a PM and I will copy and paste and PM them to you. I've been spending time with so many on the PM part who are days into wd and don't know where the health pages are. Many of us usually post these on a persons first post and I think maybe some are falling through the cracks as the forum has been pretty busy some days lately. We also (if most are like me) don't want to sit and read this stuff in the middle of full blown wd.
Great that you told your husband. I was the most adamant, stubborn person in the world 3 months ago when I joined this forum and so many responded to a post I had saying I could not tell anyone. Two weeks ago I told my bf and oldest son who battled addiction himself and I did feel alot better. Just decided one day, I'm gonna do this. congrats on your clean time and decision to quit. Sounds like 3 days clean? That was an ugly day for me but day 4 was sooo much better. Keep kookin ahead Corey
Confused-Glad to see you posting again. You are in my thoughts alot and am always hoping your feeling better and thinking about and taking care of YOU:)
Becc-Your hanging in there girl. You are gaining the experience and finding these things out. It does get better right. You do need some clean time under your belt so you can see that. How many days now?
Limodan-Congratulations on day 17. The fatigue really stinks. I still have some and am going on week 10 but that's getting alot better. I have depression, but it comes and goes. Believe it or not what everyone posts about exercise is soo true. It seems like a paradox that exercise is giong to help with fatigue when it's usually the opposite but try it if you arent already. On day 17 you can push yourself to do power walks or run..run/walk alternate but work up a sweat for 15-20 minutes 2x a day or longer if you are able. It really does help I think that the lack of sleep that we usually get with wd contributes to fatigue to some degree. Put on headphones and blast your favorite music while you exercise. Guarenteed to pump you up. Corey
Decisions-Day 5 is great. I usually felt better at day 4 but for some it takes a few days longer for the physical stuff. I also have many getting clean attempts and they do get harder each time. That is a classic example of what is meant by it being a progressive disease. I to faced this alone and did not tell anyone until recently. I don't know what made me bc I was in the it's never gonna happen mindset...then just a couple of weeks ago decided wo really giving it too much thought to tell my son and bf. It did feel good and they were supportive as I knew they would be. I thought I was protecting them from being disapointed. I guess I feel that I'm not going back so I felt like I was telling them history. I still have family members I don't think I will tell but at least someone knows. Someday if your ready you will tell them..or maybe you won't. You aren't alone though...you have all of us and we will be here for you when you need support no matter what.
Thanks to all..God Bless and GO PENS(sorry it's a burgh thing) Corey
im over a year completely clean and i still feel rough every day. a little better every day but its a LONG SLOW road.
Everything everyone said really does make sense, its just so hard to actully deal. I have a lot more to write here but not now. its 245am and just had my first yawn in a long time. so ima take a bath and see what happens :) if im back tonight then u know what happend ><
Peace Love and God Bless ^^
I was good after about 2-4 months...meaning, I still dealt with insomnia, ups and downs and lack of engery. I tried various things I found on this site and the amino protocol worked well. I'm 5 months and almost there,,,not 100% but my memory and clear thinking are coming back, energy is OK and most nights are good for 6 hours of sleep at least. My goal is the 6 month mark, 1 year and then the big 2 year. I heard after 2 years, everything should be back to normal.
LIve Well..Live Strong,