crap... help!!

[wanthappiness]

ok so i am on my hr 66 on W/D from a 12-15 10mg hydrocodone addiction for around 8 yrs... not my first time doing this but determined to do it now... just seeking advice. I have been at work (this is day 3 at work) and i was actually good. i didn't feel normal, had bathroom issues 1st day. 2nd nothing 3rd just morning. also i have drank over 100 oz of water every day....headache, little achy. i slept both nights about 8 hrs. i did take a .5 mg xanax both nights. paranoid not to sleep. i do not like the xanax & dont feel they would every be an issue for me. i am watching myself w/those. This morning at work i was ok, handling it. nothin extreme... NOW i feel like my eyes are gonna pop out of my head. feel twitchy? i think thats the feeling. i went outside & walked which i have done every day (even tho its 50 & raining.. ) starting to really ache.... tonight is trick or treat.. i have to go out w/my daughter. i really need to get thru work (4 more hours) i am rambling... need something to kill time.. so here i am.....

[VICourageous]

You are doing all the right things..Very Good..This is a slow process with some awesome rewards every day as the sun comes up. Now you just have to have Patience and give it TIME!! Time is the Greatest Healer of this all in our Recovery. Keep you mind busy and keep on trucking. Recovery is a Life Long Journey.
Bless

[Kbusymom]

I'm liking the positive attitude there Ouchie and am sorry for your situation Wanthappiness.  That sounds really tough.  But Ouchie is right; we have to be strong for our kids; they deserve the best.  We deserve the best too and I think we get so hung up on our guilt (what parent doesn't- even non addicts) that we forget we deserve the good as well.  I'm trying to stay positive too; thanks Ouchie!!  

[ouchie1987]

Congrats on the 66 hrs!!! Try poweraide to drink. It helped me soosoo much more than water. The electrolytes and tasted better. Don't u hate that skin/body feeling?? Ughhh
As fir Halloween kbusymom n myself are going trick or treating also, I know we are all anxious (how stupid/crazy does that sound?? Scared of Halloween?? (Lol ppl who dont go thru this would never understood) but we are mommies so let's get our adorable kiddos dressed and make the best of it. Heck I'm gonna even force myself to dress up as Minnie mouse. Lol.
I bet the walking will be good. (The only thing I'm worried about is bathroom issues lol) we CANNOT keep taking these experiences away from our kids. They deserve the best mommies, the REAL US!!

Wow I feel so positive !!

[wanthappiness]

thank you thank you...no i have no co-parenting,but my girls are older. 13 & 17 but that makes no difference to me. he sees them maybe every 2 mo for a couple hrs thats all. He moved his girlfriend in our family home & her kid in my childrens room. They do not like him very much. but i had no coparenting when i lived w/him.. I am with you ...i could not leave my house or go into a store or go anywhere without popping a couple.. i feel pathetic. always ran out of my rx early then spend $$ that my daughter could use for college.. just totally insane what these do to you. well thanks for listening..not doing good right now.... going to drink more water.. lol

[Kbusymom]

So glad to hear your Xanax is .5 mg and not 5 mg.  That was what concerned me so much.
I feel your pain on the WD's and having to work and go trick or treating.  I am in the same boat.  I'm on day 11, but I think it's worse because of the Xanax taper.  
I've read from other posts that the WD's come and go; you're ok for a bit and then they hit you again.  It certainly seems to be true.  
It sounds like the twitchiness could be anxiety which is completely normal and to be expected going through this. For me, just the thought of facing life without Vicodin/ Hydrocodone is overwhelming and anxiety producing; I have loved those pills so much I've put them above everything in my life.

We have to learn how to be present and not escape.  I read before you are recently separated and I'm sure the single parenting thing is kicking your butt- it's been kicking mine for years.  Do you have co-parenting?  I think that's my biggest problem, my ex-husband does nothing with our daughter; he barely sees her at all so  I don't get a break.  I've been using the pills as my break and I feel so guilty; my daughter deserves a better mother.
Stay strong, we are in this together.    

[wanthappiness]

Thanks... am drinking tons of water..ugh i am floating... Am also taking vitamins..take walks around my work building 2-3 x a day.. & every day have music blasting in my ears... (seems to work)  now hot/cold.. i know this is not easy.. it *****!!

[Goblin666]

Hey!  Hang in there and just take things slow.  If you can, just take off work.  I was fortunate to be able to do that.  Day 2-4 was the worst physically for me.  What helped me a little was to think that I just had the flu and was sick.  Keep up the water and exercise!!!  One of the best things you can do is keep moving even as hard as it is.  Get some supplements/vitamins in you too. There is a ton of information on here...

There is NO easy way out of this but know that you CAN do this and the worst thing you could do is go backwards.

Have fun tonight and just do the best you can!

Be well

[BearsFan1966]

Welcome to MH this is a wonderful site for support and advice!
have you tried the Thomas Recipe? I am on day 71 and it helped me so much threw the WD. The first 3-5 days are the worst physically so just hang in there it will get better!