Just stopping a 160+mg a day oxy/perc habit - Day 1

[Back2Me]

At 6:00pm I will be done with day one. Something I have not been able to get through the past few attempts over the past 6 months or so. I keep getting bad w/d and then going back. This time I really don't want to go down that Rd. I just tell myself "oh I'll just taper it will be easier". But it seems like I never have "enough" to taper and it ends up costing me thousands per month and at the end I have made no progress. Anyway I am off work for the next 3 days. I don't think this is going to be enough though. From past experience I known am going to need like 7-10 days and man there is no way I can take off for that long. Today and tomorrow are going to be bad enough for me. My work is very reliant on me and thy could sneak someone into my spot if I am gone for too long. I dont know. I guess just one day at a time. I HATE what I have become. Work-home-sleep. That's all of my interest anymore. I have been reduced to a f'ing zombie. I have to do it this time. And stay off. I have quit like 3x before bit it didntl last past like 2 weeks. Just when I feel strong I relapse it's weird. It's like wen I don't need it I start it again. Anyway one thing and one day at a time. I have to get through today.

[ImDONENoMore]

I know that fear of thinking you can only go so far and then you'll fall back.  I quit the first time on March 18 and relapsed on May 18.  I finally gave it all up on July 18th and never looked back.

Coming here and posting what I was going through and hearing abouts others and their difficulties was what kept me clean this time.  Maybe this could be the difference for you too?  :-)

[ImDONENoMore]

Oops - guess enough time has passed that I'm screwing up my quit dates noted - meant to say May 21 and finally gave it up on July 28th.  Guess that's a good sign.

[Back2Me]

Man this first day is the WORSE. I hate these dams sweats and body body "burning" sensation. Feels like acid is running through my veins.

[eyeofhorus2010]

Your story fits mine to a "T".  And like you I started to realize that I do nothing other than "work,home,sleep" cutting myself off from real relationships and experiences. I found that I no longer had anything to look forward to.

The difference this time, I think, is that I'm finally opening my eyes to the fact that there is so much more to life than what I've been experiencing.

Since your a veteran in the "quit, withdrawal, start again," wars you already know what you're up against. It's like a chess game trying to mentally stay one step of addictions next move.
I determined that I was smarter and stronger than this addiction and that from now on I would be calling the shots with my life and stop leaving my decision making to these stupid pills. Pills were the worst employee I ever had, those idiots screwed everything up. So I fired them. I've put a note in the file that they are never to come back to work here ever again.

Stay strong (I know..cliche) Put your addiction into terms that you can relate to and this time make your point be heard loud and clear. Fire them, kick there a$$, or take them out into the woods and dump'em. Your head only has enough room 1 alpha dog and that big dog is YOU! not those johnny come lately pills.
You can get through this, just keep coming here for support. It helps so much when your ready to recieve it. Good luck!  

[Dav125]

Have someone get you some Progresso vegetable soups to eat along with some grilled cheese sandwiches. Get up in the mornings and fight your way thru a shower and take a walk. Find some sort of busy work to keep you from sitting too long. Set your goal at getting thru this day and then start the process again tommorrow. Sleep without a t-shirt or pajama's and whenever the heat starts coming, shed the covers..You will cool down and the sweats won't be too bad. Line up some movies on dvd to tune your tv to at night if the bed is driving you crazy. There again, we all know about the insomnia and laying in the bed with sleep in mind will drive a person batty too by trying to force some sleep..It just doesn't work. Cut the tv on and accept this is the way it will be for the next couple of days. Things should get slightly better by Saturday..

Use your frustration and anger to your advantage. The phrase "this will pass"....By Monday you should be 100% better than you feel today. Not great, but should be able to function. Getting that shower first thing is important to get the day going. Make an extreme effort to keep moving is the way out...Experience tells me that. Stop thinking about pills and start thinking about "what do I need to get done"...

[DarkEyedCreature]

Wow... All I have to say is you are frickin amazing for being brave enough to CT on that dosage. I was WDing from 40-50mg and it made me crazy. You can do this though. No lookin' back. I'm sure you miss the person that is really you. You will be able to look in the mirror and love who you see.

[jakethesnakeloper]

hi there my name is jake and i have been doing hydrocodon for the past year and a half and in a week and a half i see my family for the first time in 5 years, and i so badly want to be clean, it has been four days snice i last toke some, im trying so hard, my question is, will i be feeling like the way i feel right now in a week and a half, also what else can i do to get rid of all this in me?

[Back2Me]

My birthday is on Tuesday. Being clean on Tuesday is my big present to myself. This is going to be almost impossible though I am going through HELL right now. One minute at a time I guess. Thanks for the support.

[m0e]

after 20 yrs. i have relapsed in the worst way and have been on oxy. for 7 years and started drinking wine/pot this summer.  I am sooooo sad and of course everythinhg is f-ed up; i saw a phd and recommended suboxone.  is this replacing my drug habit??  i'm going to a aa mtg. in 1 hr.     mp

[Nicole1105]

Congrats on quitting! Just try to stay strong and take it minute by minute if you have to. We're all here for support so when you feel really low just post. We'll help you through it. (((Hugs)))

[healthy_living]

Good luck! You fit my story to a T! Taper, try to quit withdrawal, relapse haha I will be going at it again too! I wish you luck! If you need someone to talk to message me I feel like I can really relate! You will be in my prayers

[Back2Me]

Thanks. I'm still going. Very ruff night. Probably won't sleep I am still very hot and get sweaty. I hope this part passes soon I hate this worse than anything. The body burning sweats. :(
Anyway I might take a klonopin to sleep.

[GataBlanca242]

yes, Back, take Klonopin if you can.  sleep cuts your detox time.  you are still detoxing but you are not awake for it.  it is the best thing you can do.  but listen to the others who say  eat, HOT baths w Epsom salts are great.  When i was WDing off of Suboxone, it was HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL, I know your pain!!  I got up and vacuumed my house with all the RAGe that i had inside.  walking it off is a good method too.
keep posting, you are amazing!!  you can do it...!!!!!

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I  write these hoping you dont read them till morning....but experence tells me a lot of people will be up all night and come on and post....I just wanted to take a minute to encourage you to push past the pain this is but a few days in the rest of your life
right now a hot bath is your best friend take them often it really helps with the creepy crawlys
and the chills and sweats it will relax you also.....if you cant get comfy try bringing a blanket to the couch put on some soft music close your eyes and just get lost in the music it may be the closest thing to sleep you get...and remember...''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' this will pass in a few3 days hang in there I will check on you in the morning
good luck sleeping......Gnarly

[Back2Me]

I didn't sleep much at all but a little. It got really bad about 4am and I did not know how I was going to take it. It was really bad. Right now at 10:00 for a second it's not as bad. But you are right I am MAD. I AM PISSED OFF and sick of being in this room. A walk is out of the question it's like 20 outside and ....yeah.  Too cold right now. But I am going to take that shower or bath right now. I have to get out of this bed today and fight.

[ImDONENoMore]

Good for you!!  Anger is the best motivator.  It took anger, at least for me, at all of those horrible drugs, to finally keep me off of them.  Good job!

[Back2Me]

Ok only 3 more hours and I am DONE with day 2. Good riddance!!!!!  Today I followed someones advice on here and got up and took that hot bath. It was pathetic let me tell you. Lots of shaking staring into the mirror/space turning the heat in the house up to 76 and the getting in with some epsom salts. Then my wife came home from work and I went to the bank with her. The messed up thing is now I cannot sit still!!!! I picked up the house some because I tried to lay down and I just could not. Is this a good sign or bad? I get very tired easy but it's hard so hard to sit still. But it ***** moving abound too. My body is achy and my head is racing like crazy. This ***** I really hope I can stay away 100% this time. But to be honest I might have to change jobs here soon because this jOb causes me back pain. Maybe they can get me a new chair who knows. Anyway again this *****. Last time I daughter therapy and it was terrible for me. The total wrong person. But I have to do something. I have no insurance maybe meetings I don't know. But when I feel good after detox then it hits me the cravings. I cannot keep doing this to myself and my body and the people around me.

[gnarly_1]

HI  the key her is to emerge yourself into aftercare it is the only way most of us stay clean
N/A is a free program and it has worked for me the statistic shows that less the 10% of the people will say clean 1yr without aftercare.....it shouldn't be considered optional
it the very way we think as addicts that has to change to live in recovery your doing good
coming out at 2 days hang in there keep posting for support we all want to see you succeed goood lyck and God bless......Gnarly  

[GataBlanca242]

Hey the cleaning worked for me, like i said i was cleaning like a mad-woman as i had neglected my chores for sometime.  yes, you feel like sh*t but if you get some chores done in the house, you WILL mentally feel better.  don't underestimate that part.  also depending on how hard to work you will get yourself tired and get a better sleep tonight, guaranteed.
Hang in there!!!

[ImDONENoMore]

The only thing you need to think about is TODAY.  Not using TODAY.  Worry about tomorrow when it comes.  It's too early to start thinking about down the road.  I did that and it only stressed me out.  At some point you will be able to stop thinking this way.  But its way too early for you now to think that far ahead.

Slow and steady.

[Back2Me]

Thanks again for the support really. I am even going to my sons basketball game in about 20 mins. Gotto make one last visit to el toilet and take some more imodium to make sure I can make it but I'm going to do it damn it!
Still feeling terrible but maybe a smidge better. This toilet thing will NOT let up though. More immodium I guess. All I can do. Oh and I just got rid of 110 10mg percocets today. I'm determined this time. I posted a website a while ago with listings of meeting in any area but think I lost it. Anyone have it?

[laurel453]

hey, i wanted to show my support to you, another fellow sagitarian addict..:) Do take those suplemments of magnesium+calcium and potasium, i really think they help with muscles aches and this relentless feeling . Good luck ! :)

[Back2Me]

I went to the BB game and it was BRUTAL. I cannot believe I made it through.man what was I thinking!  Sitting on the wooden benches was torture! Oh my back!  Anyway I am in bed now. Took a klonopin and a little "green" and 4 Advils and now im back in bed. But I did it I stayed the whole time. Probably not ready for it though. All I kept thinking was. If I could just take a perc or 2 I would e able to make it through this game. My mind went right there. : /

[Ballgame]

How you doing?  Did you go ct from 160 a day?  Or ween down? Oxy is my DOC and I tried CT.  It was rough.
I couldn't move and every minute felt like an hour. No energy and my kids wanted to play.  Brutal