Just stopping a 160+mg a day oxy/perc habit - Day 1

[Back2Me]

At 6:00pm I will be done with day one. Something I have not been able to get through the past few attempts over the past 6 months or so. I keep getting bad w/d and then going back. This time I really don't want to go down that Rd. I just tell myself "oh I'll just taper it will be easier". But it seems like I never have "enough" to taper and it ends up costing me thousands per month and at the end I have made no progress. Anyway I am off work for the next 3 days. I don't think this is going to be enough though. From past experience I known am going to need like 7-10 days and man there is no way I can take off for that long. Today and tomorrow are going to be bad enough for me. My work is very reliant on me and thy could sneak someone into my spot if I am gone for too long. I dont know. I guess just one day at a time. I HATE what I have become. Work-home-sleep. That's all of my interest anymore. I have been reduced to a f'ing zombie. I have to do it this time. And stay off. I have quit like 3x before bit it didntl last past like 2 weeks. Just when I feel strong I relapse it's weird. It's like wen I don't need it I start it again. Anyway one thing and one day at a time. I have to get through today.

[GataBlanca242]

Hey the cleaning worked for me, like i said i was cleaning like a mad-woman as i had neglected my chores for sometime.  yes, you feel like sh*t but if you get some chores done in the house, you WILL mentally feel better.  don't underestimate that part.  also depending on how hard to work you will get yourself tired and get a better sleep tonight, guaranteed.
Hang in there!!!

[gnarly_1]

HI  the key her is to emerge yourself into aftercare it is the only way most of us stay clean
N/A is a free program and it has worked for me the statistic shows that less the 10% of the people will say clean 1yr without aftercare.....it shouldn't be considered optional
it the very way we think as addicts that has to change to live in recovery your doing good
coming out at 2 days hang in there keep posting for support we all want to see you succeed goood lyck and God bless......Gnarly  

[Back2Me]

Ok only 3 more hours and I am DONE with day 2. Good riddance!!!!!  Today I followed someones advice on here and got up and took that hot bath. It was pathetic let me tell you. Lots of shaking staring into the mirror/space turning the heat in the house up to 76 and the getting in with some epsom salts. Then my wife came home from work and I went to the bank with her. The messed up thing is now I cannot sit still!!!! I picked up the house some because I tried to lay down and I just could not. Is this a good sign or bad? I get very tired easy but it's hard so hard to sit still. But it ***** moving abound too. My body is achy and my head is racing like crazy. This ***** I really hope I can stay away 100% this time. But to be honest I might have to change jobs here soon because this jOb causes me back pain. Maybe they can get me a new chair who knows. Anyway again this *****. Last time I daughter therapy and it was terrible for me. The total wrong person. But I have to do something. I have no insurance maybe meetings I don't know. But when I feel good after detox then it hits me the cravings. I cannot keep doing this to myself and my body and the people around me.

[ImDONENoMore]

Good for you!!  Anger is the best motivator.  It took anger, at least for me, at all of those horrible drugs, to finally keep me off of them.  Good job!

[Back2Me]

I didn't sleep much at all but a little. It got really bad about 4am and I did not know how I was going to take it. It was really bad. Right now at 10:00 for a second it's not as bad. But you are right I am MAD. I AM PISSED OFF and sick of being in this room. A walk is out of the question it's like 20 outside and ....yeah.  Too cold right now. But I am going to take that shower or bath right now. I have to get out of this bed today and fight.

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I  write these hoping you dont read them till morning....but experence tells me a lot of people will be up all night and come on and post....I just wanted to take a minute to encourage you to push past the pain this is but a few days in the rest of your life
right now a hot bath is your best friend take them often it really helps with the creepy crawlys
and the chills and sweats it will relax you also.....if you cant get comfy try bringing a blanket to the couch put on some soft music close your eyes and just get lost in the music it may be the closest thing to sleep you get...and remember...''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' this will pass in a few3 days hang in there I will check on you in the morning
good luck sleeping......Gnarly