Lets keep the open floor

[OxyDout]

I think the open question idea is a good one, but if someone else thinks different then I will stop, but anyway I did something last night that I think can definitely help anyone keep their mind off of drugs.  My girlfriend bought me rollerblades last night and we went out rollerblading around 9:30pm last night.  It was incredible, it was one of those things that I forgot was so much fun.  We had the summer night, cool air, and we were flying up and down the streets...... And the thing that was even better was that I was sharing it with the girl I love. SHE bought something that FINALLY made me realize I WANT TO BE SOBER!!! It was the most incredible feeling, I WAS FREE!!!! Well, that is my two cents.  I haven't been doing so well with the tapering, I found the "stash" oh boy, I have found out that the only way i can do this is to go through the hell, but don't get me wrong, I didn't eat like 15 vic's in a day, I just haven't been sticking to the taper as wel as I should be.  

Well, I hope all is well, and please post often today.  

GROOVY WHERE ARE YOU!!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU, OH, I BOUGHT MY ROLLERBLADES AT THE LIBERTY TREE MALL!!

[tex3]

I wasn't too clear last night so I apologize. But your post could have been me a few months ago. You will feel happiness again. What I meant by "fake" is that I was so shy that when I took a job that forced me to be outgoing (reporter) I had to fake it, and then it just took over and I became very outgoing. Then I started the pills and things went downhill. For me, the further I got from my last pill, the happier I became. So I don't have to fake happiness at all, but I did have to fake, or force, myself to be outgoing again. Not for long as I now feel completely normal.
I know things feel hopeless now. I felt for weeks like I would never be happy again, would always be apathetic and almost suicidal. I think it's because your body is producing none of its natural endorphins or pleasure chemicals. You've stripped them because the opiates filled up those receptors and your own shut down (this is how my doc explained it to me, anyway). But in the coming weeks your body will start to produce them again and that misery will start to lift, almost melt away. It's not easy and it sucks, but it can be done. You have to tough it out, though, or you'll be right back where you are now.

Jessarpy - I was, as gwh put it, a cleaning machine, high as a kite, when on opiates. Either that or totally crashed. I can't explain it other than it was the euphoria. Often I'd go like crazy at work and then come home and crash. If I knew I had to be up all night for work, I'd take double the pills to get me through, almost like caffeine. Just my take...

[OxyDout]

thank you, that took some of the pressure off, maybe I should go rollerblading, or maybe I shoot hold up the local CVS and take as many oxycontin as I can......... lets see, rollerblading or theft, possible jail and a large drug habit,..............rollerblading, or TROUBLE, rollerblading or TROUBLE, well as easy as it looks, this has been the hardest decision of my life............ but i'm gonna do it the right way this time.

GWH

[1fortheroad]

i've spent a ton of $ too, so don't feel alone in that. i think it drives a lot of people to want to quit - i have credit card debt up the wazoo...i was lucky enough to conveniently buy a lot of it online...what a treat that was.  well, at least it gives you an incentive right?  i always found the $ to buy them, but i always found i was a little short when it came to something like the phone bill...we all have our priorities right?  quit, quit, quit QUIT!  you can do it, you can do it you can do it!!!  what else can i say dude?  i'm rooting for you...you know it can be done - you've done it before.  just keep thinking about your portfolio.  good luck!  go rollerblading!!

[OxyDout]

anyone out there.......... beuller........ beuller

Seriously, I"m having the worst panick attacks, can anyone relate........ this whole money thing is killing me....... $600 in taxes taken from my check, give me a break!!!

[OxyDout]

anyone out there.......... beuller........ beuller

Seriously, I"m having the worst panick attacks, can anyone relate........ this whole money thing is killing me....... $600 in taxes taken from my check, give me a break!!!

[OxyDout]

god help me, i just got my commission and regular pay check and not only is it already spent because of money I owe for "my guy" my car, etc.... but I don't have enough, its all because of the drugs, I can't believe this, I'm in the hole because of drugs. If I didn't do that, I could have easily put 500 in the bank, talk about panick attacks, jesus, anyway, I'm sorry guys, I guess I need to hear from someone, anyone, I get a little anxious when it comes to money.

god help me,

GWH