Losing ground

[Longwaytogo]

Please will someone help me?  My dr. of more than 20yrs wouldn't take or return my calls  so I've been detoxing on my own. I've tapered off 100mcg of the fentanyl patch since 15 jan. (My b'day) . It was pretty quick as I just kept cutting the patches in half and was only on it @ 6 yrs. I also had 16 60mg oxycodone / day and 16-20 10/325 norco/ day to keep me steady. 15 mar. I was oxy free also 6 yrs on. My biggest challenge comes w/ the norco. I've been on codeine since I was 19. More than 40 yrs. hard saying goodbye to a very old friend. But I am determined.
Now at down to last 4 norco/day and I seem to be stuck. A kind of holding pattern these last ten days. Afraid to jump just yet but not sure how to decrease. Cut in half ? miss a dose? Which dose? Life keeps happening and I'm just so tired, scared, and lost , twisted in knots.  Can someone please help me find my way again?

[Longwaytogo]

Thanks for checking. Ever since the quake.of '94 (extreme trauma) I've held back and kept a 3 month emergency supply of all my meds. Down to the wire as I ve been stuck these last few days and am running out. Scared to jump at 4  for so many reasons...some even valid. Procrastination and over thinking  things are two of my fortes.afraid to up the benzo s cause I know how hard it is to get off them. Or does it really matter if it gets me off the last opiate?? Please give me your opinion . I really want to be done w/ this part of it but am scared sh...less. Been on them for 40 + yrs? benzo s even longer. Osyh!

[selfinduced]

Hi Long, Just checking on you. I was wondering. Do you think you could have your friend hold your med's and dispense them? Also, you may have already mentioned, but is your current Dr. rx'ing the benzo's now? The amount of opiate you are on will not be a problem to jump off, but can cause you anxiety that will have you mindlessly upping your benzo's. Just know you will have some discomfort with this process, but nothing to be feared. Keep posting for support. I know you have this in you.

[Jinx_777]

the first doctor I ever seen for back pain would literally pull out his RX pad and just say 'what do you want'.  he did not check me, didn't listen to my heart, NOTHING, just asked what I wanted him to write.  thank God that I was naive to pain meds and only wanted relief from the pain.  years later he lost his license for only a few months because 6 of his patients had died of overdoses.  

the doctor you had reminds me a lot of my 1 st doctor.  they are not the norm, i promise you that.  usually, it is very hard to get actual help for pain management because most fear the DEA.  don't be afraid to go to the ER and tell them the situation.  they will be more than happy to point you in the right direction.  they deal with drug seekers daily and would embrace someone coming in trying to get help  getting off of them.  

be very careful with the xanax because the withdrawal from that can be dangerous.  .5 may not seem high, but it actually is in comparison to valium.
take one class of medications at a time if you can.  get off the opiates and then tackle the benzo.  

[lulu747]

Your friend is right.  One drug at a time, you didn't get here overnight.  There are a lot of terrible docs out there FOR SURE, but there are also some great ones.  I'd look into a doc who specializes in addiction issues.  You need some help here.  I had to see three different doctors before I found one who could/was willing to help me taper off benzos.  Benzos are not like opiates which can be stopped or tapered without too much long term issues.  A benzo taper not done properly can give you years of problems and YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS.  You are fighting to get your life back, and you deserve to.  You must set yourself up for success.
I feel for you friend, and send you much love and support on your journey...
Lu

[Longwaytogo]

In my heart I know you are right.  At this time I won't even consider a drs help. In my exp. they are all arrogant greedy covering their tushes in it for themselves  #%# My mad has been keeping me focused on quitting right now. My friend keeps telling me one drug at I time; this didn't get here overnight.  It's just more than scary thinking which drug comes next .thanks for being here. It's calming to know you're not alone.

[selfinduced]

I do think with the different med's your taking , it would be a huge benefit to try to get a DR. on board. The amount of xanex is significant and it would ease your mind greatly to have someone on board that understand's your desire to get off all these med's and stay off. If your like I was you will keep playing pharmacist and adjusting the med's to ease your symptoms. This is where a Dr. can help guide you. Keep posting. I know you'll get thru this.