Methadone

[JMB429]

I was on methadone for 10 years. While on it I also abused it. My dose for the first 5 or 6 years was 160mg and the last few I was at about 100mg. I also would buy peoples take home bottles when I could and always double my dose when I got my Saturday bottle. During that they me I also abused Xanax for years but the last year I was doing that maybe once a week. I haven't put anything else in my system for about three years.

  I winded up getting locked up this time for a few months last December 2013 and swore I was done. Been clean ever since. I'm active in NA and doing what I'm supposed to. The thing is that I still don't feel right and providing my history I just wanted to know if its normal? My energy levels are still low. Its hard to explain but I'm tense all the time. I still have restless legs. I'm depressed because I feel like I'm NEVER going to feel normal again (whatever that is). Its taking a toll. Its solo hard to stay motivated feeling like this all the time. I'm never comfortable. I'm 37 years old and I just don't know when things will get better. I've had physicals and my blood work came out good. I workout but that really only helps for a little while. I just want to know what's going on. I don't want opinions. I get enough of them from people in the program and everyone that's been through methadone withdrawal can't really identify with what I'm going through. Btw, I am on Lexapro for depression/anxiety( I still have anxiety too) and Lexapro for sleep bc I still don't sleep well.

[melita11]

Wow that is very encouraging, i also am still trying to get off of methadone .But i hope some day to be able to say the same thing thank you for you blog it makes me know i can do it.

[NitaG77]

It is normal what you are going thru. Going to AA find a sponsor read the big book and do the steps.... It does get easier

[Turnthecorne]

Hello JMB429, How long has it been since your last dose of Methadone and congratulations on holding your ground. As for myself I was on Methadone for over 10 yrs and have been clean going on 90days but I also detoxed slow and stopped at 3 mg. I can tell you that it was very ruff for the first month. Even today I deal with low energy and bouts of depression but I know with time this will get better. Please let me know details. God bless and keep on keeping on....

[Heather8448]

I had to work steps and reach outside my comfortzone and pray and TBH it took 18 months and a TON of work for me to be happy, I still have sad days and anxiety but I just hold onto hope when things get hard...and I dont use no matter what, I have faith miracles happen and I refuse to give up...I was on methadone daily for 6-7 years. My doctor says it takes a LONG time for the seritonin to become somewhat normal again
I also went to therapy
when I am down I still show up and I call people and have slumber parties and do what ever it takes...It will get better, then worse then better its called life...Just hold on and try to enjoy the small things each day...I look at the sky a lot...and I accept that its ok to feel bad for no reason...Thats my experience I wish I had a clear answer but it took years to mess up our brains chemically it will take time for it to become fixed just hold on