My boyfriend....

[bettie1976]

Has been sober from alcohol for 38 days (same day as me, we did it together) and is DEPRESSED AS HELL! He started taking prozac a few weeks ago and its not kicking in yet and he says hes feels worse. He mopes around like ho hum and never smiles anymore. We used to have so much fun. He doesnt enjoy anything right now. He gets valiums to help with the transition of the quitting alcohol (or klonipin, still waiting for the prozac to kick in) then says he doesnt need em or want em and gives em to me. I still take em occasionally but my zoloft is kicking in and my anxiety is pretty much gone now. So then he says hes gonna flush em (the klonipins cuz they never worked for either of us) and then today he's on the phone with the advice nurse at his insurance wondering if he should go to the er to get some benzos. Im thinking WTF? I told him just GO. Look, I love you but Im tired of seeing you like this. I dont even understand whats going on in his head right now. He's been an alcoholic for 14 years and is just now learning how to live sober. While I can understand addiction (im an alcoholic and an addict myself) I dont get what he's doing. He does this every weekend lately. And he's not even abusing the benzos cuz he gives em to me. Weve both been taking them (i get them from my doc as well) but the er visits are getting outta control. It reminds me of when he was running to the ER three times a day to get me vicodins...
WTF...

[bettie1976]

well they wouldnt give him anything. they told him to pick up the buspar at the pharmacy (which is what they gave him on top of the friggin prozac) and wait til he sees the shrink tomorrow. BOTH buspar and prozac take weeks to work so tell me how that even makes sense. Are doctors just plain F'ing stupid or do they just not care? He came clean with his doc about his alcoholism and she shuns him. F&%$ K A I S E R.

[No name22]

PLZ it seems like they want to prescribe prescribe prescribe for money reasons.

[bettie1976]

it totally seems that way to me.

[slideshow]

When I drank heavily it was while I was in the bar business, or only when I was out partying (50 cent night at Big Daddy's).  So I was more of a Partyholic than an alcoholic.  I quit drinking hard liquor in 1982 and quit drinking altogether until 2001.  When I stopped taking pills I started drinking good Cabernet, but not really so much and not really so often.  I found that I could still get drunk and 2 bottles of Cabernet can get me quite loaded.  I only drank when getting together with folks to play guitar.  Drinking and playing music has always kind of gone together.   Well a few months ago, I quit drinking altogether because I simply don't enjoy it.  I'm learning to play guitar sober and frankly I'm a little bit better sober...The hard part is the enabling friends that still offer stuff.   I don't have any problems turning down booze, wine, pot, mushrooms, recreational Valium.  The problem is the the folks that are supposed to be my friends, keep offering me ****.  Screw them.. Once couple keeps offering my wife mushrooms behind my back, knowing how I feel about it.  Well she can take care of herself, its just frustrating that they do this.

You bf will adjust, but he will have to get used to not hanging around with the old enabling folks.  Sometimes the old friends.  I don't blame your bf for not liking the ADs....I never liked any of them, just whacked me out.  I'm not sure I understand what he is doing to get the Benzos, calling ERs and making up stories, or getting them for legit anxiety...In any case continuing to doctor shop for anything can't be a good thing, and the shopping for Benzos could easily turn into shopping for something else.  Might be hard to turn down some IV demorol, if some ER thinks hes hurting badly enough.     I am sorry he is so depressed, but I am pretty sure the ADs aren't going to help that....Perhaps he just like the rest of us has to dig deep for the core issues, that make him seek the escape.   Easier said than done though.  I'm not a meeting kind of guy, so can understand how that might get old, especially if they are not helping.  Meetings are not for everyone....I know there are proponents here for the NA AA meetings, but the truth is they are simply not for everyone and really don't dig deep enough to get to the core issues, but dwell on the using itself.....

I hope he gets happier.  Certainly having you to love him can't hurt.....Thats a BIG plus, having someone to help support him.....Good luck and I hope he feels better soon.

[slideshow]

I'd be happy to help flesh this out to help discover just what might make him happier.  He is 10 steps ahread by having your love.   Frankly thats when I knew I couldn't let my wife go, when she used to come and see me in a 30 day dry out place for alcohol (for DUIs) on a Greyhound bus....For her to do that for me, was the icing on the cake.  I already trusted her, but when she weht to that much trouble to come see me, knowing that I needed mental support meant the world to me.  I knew then that I could NOT let her go.  That was 25 years ago, next May is our 25 Silver Wedding anniversery.  I am not saying that we have a perfect relationship who does, but I am saying its cool to have a partner for that long that you trust not to screw around on you, for that long.  That in turn makes me a better boy and I too can be trusted......If you love him, you will figure it out.  

[FLaddict]

Regular benzo use can make someone's depression worse... He should really start to cut back on those.. even just taking them daily in small doses can make someone who already has a depression issue worse.. The only thing that is really gonna help is time.. time for his brain and body to heal from the alcohol abuse.. unfortunately us addicts are inpatient... we are used to self medicating and getting whatever feeling we want when we want it.. this is a hard habit to break.. but time heals all wounds.. just have to be patient and hope he is trying the best he can to overcome the depression.