Hey everyone. I'm so, so glad to finally post here after over a year of reading, being inspired, and finally taking the plunge to sobriety.
Because of my fairly severe scoliosis, and the debilitating lower back pain it caused, I was started on Tramadol over 5 years ago. You all know how it goes. One thing leads to another, and my final regimen of pain treatment was two 60mg OxyContin per day, and four 10mg/325 Percocet per day for breakthrough, which has been the case for about 3 years now. After some time, I began purchasing extra 10mg/325 Percocet off the street, because 4 per day just wasn't enough to satiate my desire. Let me be clear that the entire point of me taking the pills by this time was not to treat my pain, but the feel as euphoric as possible throughout the day. I was getting high.
By the end (the last day being yesterday), I was taking twelve 10mg/325 Percocets per day, although I never ended up abusing the OxyContin, for some reason. Matter of fact, right now, I have two unfilled monthly OxyContin scripts in my wallet because I took them exactly as prescribed, and it was just an overflow after so many years. I should probably throw them out, now that I just mentioned it.
My last day of pills was Sunday. I took one 60mg OxyContin after a week of taking one per day instead of two. I did not taper the Percocet at all. Twelve a day, every day, including Sunday. The last OxyContin I took was at 1:00pm on Sunday. The last Percocet I took was at 10:00pm on Sunday. All told, on Sunday I ingested 180mg of oxycodone (combining one 60mg OxyContin and twelve 10mg/325 Percocets). I took off work Monday and Tuesday to get off, and also have five strips of the 8mg/2mg Suboxone to assist.
So, on Sunday I fell asleep at midnight, two hours after my Very Last Percocet and eleven hours after my Very Last Oxycontin. I woke up at 6:30am Monday just feeling those very basic jitters before taking the first pill of the day. I distracted myself, eating cereal and watching TV, just kind of keeping busy. By 11:00am, I was so tired that I fell asleep for two hours. When I woke up at 1:00pm, the withdrawals had begun, and by 5:00pm, it was just flat out NASTY. Runny nose, watering eyes, aches and pains everywhere, hot flashes, cold flashes, and worst of all, the legs. Oh, the LEGS. You can't get them comfortable, they keep you from sleeping, just constantly tossing and turning and readjusting to find the comfortable position in which you can sleep, but that not existing, and so it just cycles and cycles, tossing and turning and whimpering and, at some times, just flat out crying in pain and frustration.
I am a grown man, and by 6:00pm, I was literally verbally crying out to God and Jesus asking for relief, tears streaming down my face. Thank the heavens that my girlfriend came by after work with a bottle of Potassium pills for me, and to keep me from using the Suboxone yet, because 10:00pm was my 24 hour mark for my last dose. and I had 4 unbearable hours to go. I took one potassium pill and one men's One A Day-type vitamin containing B6. Still, I didn't think there was any way I could make it to 10pm for my first Suboxone. Then I remembered that I had two 1mg Xanax pills stashed away. THESE WERE CRUCIAL. I cut them in halves, and with each .5 pill I took, it would give me 30 minutes of sleep. I'm convinced right now that the only way I made it to 10pm was with the Xanax. I really mean it.
I woke up from my last .5 Xanax pill at 10:30pm (which was 4 hours ago), feeling just wretched and horrid. The potassium helps, sure, but it's minor relief. The withdrawals are still there. My girlfriend cut one of the 8mg Suboxone strips in half, and gave me 4mg which I put under my tongue and continued to thrash around, my legs, my arms, my head, just everything, I couldn't stop moving. It was truly an incredible feeling. It's, like, the exact opposite of the best opiate high. It feels like your bone marrow itself is vibrating and gnashing its proverbial teeth. Every. Thing. Hurts.
And then... here I am. I obviously fell asleep as the Suboxone was taking affect, because in one moment, it was 10:30pm and I was a wretched, pathetic creature, and now it's 2:43am and I feel fine. Well, "fine." I mean, my lower back hurts a whole lot, and I'm very disoriented because of my insane sleep schedule these past 29 hours, but... my body doesn't feel like it's withdrawing at all! The only thing I notice is thirst. I think I drawn a whole half-gallon of Gatorade while typing this (and I type fast!).
So, there you have it. My first day off of an approximately 200mg/day three-year long oxycodone habit, and what it was like for me to get through those 24 crucial hours before my first dose of 4mg Suboxone.
So now what? What do I do? I have the 4mg leftover half of Suboxone, and then 4 more unopened strips of 8mg Suboxone left. When do I know when to take my next dose of Suboxone? At what strength should the following Suboxone dose be? Another 4mg, or maybe reduce is to 2mg? Basically, any input you have on how this remaining Suboxone should be used would be great for me.
And if you know how I should expect to feel moving forward, and when you think I might be able to return to work (today was the only day I missed so far), I'm all ears.
Until then, here I am, now at 2:52am in the morning, eating my first bowl of cereal as a sober person, and marveling.
Thank you for reading the middle-of-the-night/morning ramblings of this first poster. Thank you all so much for being there.