My sister is pregnant and abusing pills and now I feel so guilty!

[GMommy2008]

My sister is 33 weeks pregnant and has been using, and abusing pain pills since before she was pregnant. She was taking 40mg oxycontin 3-4 times a day and 15mg roxicodone in between, not sure how many, maybe 4 a day, if not more. And during her whole pregnancy, her dr. has been weaning her down and now she is just on percocet. The problem though is she has been taking her entire 30 day script within 5-10 days and then going through withdrawl. And then buying street drugs to take until her next appointment. Her husband has no idea but he is very hard to talk to and she wont let anyone even has access to talk to him (she guards the phone, and takes the mail, ect.). I have been struggling with what to do since May and I have been crying over it every day. I have talked to her MANY times and BEGGED her to stop, but she wont. Now, today she had an appointment. Her baby is measuring 4 weeks too small, movement has slowed down (but still there), and she has high blood pressure and protein in her urine. Im not sure what all of this means, but I am TERRIFIED for my nephew and now If something is wrong with him, or even if he just has to go through withdrawl (which is HORRIBLE that an innocent baby would have to go through that!), I know it is all my fault. Well, not all. I know SHE did it but I DIDNT stop it, which is just as bad in my book. I really WANTED to help but every idea I had just didnt work out. But I could of tried harder. I dont know. I am just in tears worried for that baby. I have never been here before. Please help me!

[vicki595]

Okay Sweetie, listen to me:  It IS probably too late for an intervention unless by some miracle you talk to your brother in law.  But,really,she's almost due to have her baby so it's a bit late to detox her. Try not to worry and here's why:  She'll be going to see the OB frequently now that she's almost due.  He'll be alert to anything odd and probably already is. Once in labor and in the hospital it will be out of her hands.  She'll take her pills with her I'm sure but many hospitals now routinely do a drug screen on all labor patients. They don't want any surprises.  Then...she's busted. They'll turn her in or do an intervention of some kind.  As for the baby...they'll be prepared to take good care of him so he won't be suffering. He's small now and the OB knows it.    I feel sad for you AND for her.  She has an illness(addiction) and it's a bear!!   Please continue to post so I/we can support you.  I'll be on here for a little bit... xo   V.

[vicki595]

Hi...I've thought of you so much!!!!      Listen: YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!   Really, stop beating yourself up.   You have tried forever to appeal to her to stop this. You know her husband had a good idea about this but became satisfied with the status quo. You reached out to MH.  I think you've done a lot in spite of the barriers she's put up.   The way I see it,even if you had done "something" months ago it probably wouldn't have worked.  Because she lies.She's an addict. She's sick.  I have other thoughts but will post this now before I lose you...   :) V.

[GMommy2008]

Yeah she is sly. She lies constantly and I do not have a normal relationship with her, but to her, I am all she thinks she has. She trusts me enough to tell me the truth about everything even while lying to her husband. But she has been this way for 10 years, before the drugs even came into play. She would lie to him about every little thing and my Grandma and I were the only ones who really knew her. But now my Grandma is gone and its just me. Thats why I feel so guilty. I feel like I am the only one who COULD do something. The only one who really knows it all. But at the same time, I feel like I am out of options and now I believe it is too late. I am upset with myself for not finding a site like this 6 months ago and asking for help. Of course I know it is HER that is doing this, but I really am to blame as well.

[vicki595]

God! What a jerk/dummy/idiot he sounds like.  How can he not have computer skills with his job and all?????  Maybe I'm being harsh re him though.  As odd as he may be...it's not entirely his fault b/c he has NO IDEA what addiction is about and your sister is really good at what she does. They're an odd couple.   It does sound like he tried that one time soooooo I'd still ambush him and then it's "don't say I didn't warn you" I guess.   A thought though :  How is it you know so much about what she's doing? She's obviously not trying to cover up around you... Maybe deep down she wants help or(God forbid) is setting you up to blame when things turn badly (if).  She's a sly one and smart.  I'll be here for a bit...please post back.  V.

[GMommy2008]

Thank you as well for making me feel better about my situation. I am trying not to blame myself, but it is hard. I feel like I made a mistake waiting this long. Thank you though!

[GMommy2008]

Thank you so much for all of your posts. You have made me feel better about the situation. The main problem with her husband is, hmmm, hes an IDIOT! There was ONE chance I did have him on the phone. It was the begining of this pregnancy and she was going through w/d. He called me! And said "what do I do?". I freaked out in such happiness that I had this chance! I told him "Look, she is in severe w/d from taking too many pills. You NEED to take her to the ER right now and let them make sure your baby is ok, then go from there." I stressed this to him. Apparently, she had a couple pills (I believe it was muscle relaxers or something, but I could be wrong and it was pain pills, either way, BAD for baby) that took her w/d symptoms away by the time they got there. She told him she was "better" so he brought her home!!!! She called me later and told me what happened. I was stunned!!   At one point, he did tell her he wanted her script that month to monitor it. She filled it up with stomach pills and gave him that bottle. He didnt know any better and gave her X amount of stomach pills each day for that month. Then he assumed she was doing what the drs. wanted so he stopped monitoring it.  Oh yeah, AND, she has stolen money from him and when he found out, she told him her dr. called her in an extra script b/c her tooth was hurting and her ins wouldnt cover it, so she had to pay $400 for it, so she printed out a fake reciept from the computer (which he has never used a computer before so he isnt too bright with that) and he believed that too!!  So please tell me, with a man this "dumb!", how do I even get through to him if I did ambush him?? If he was normal, I would of already done something like that. Thanks for the idea though!!