Need WD support network this week - can you help?

[MeganDowney]

Hello everyone,

I am inspired by your words of support. I am about to start a FOREVER detox and am hoping I can turn to you for my own support over the next few days.

I have been using vicodin as needed for the past few years for a condition in my spine. Never had a problem until this past flair up. The Dr. upped my prescription and my tolerance skyrocketed. Anyway, over the past 2 weeks I have been weaning myself and went from 10 regular strength per day to 1 Ultram per day finally. On Saturday my taper will end and we will see what my detox experience is like.

The one thing I noticed after the first couple weeks is that I have adjusted to *feeling* things again, which was challenging at first after not feeling much for the months on Vicodin. Sitting through feelings and not being numb when the day was stressful, painful, difficult, etc. was the first change I noticed. I am used to that again now, so at least there is one piece of the struggle dealt with.

I am exercising, taking my vitamins, very active in church, looking forward to falling in love again with all the things that have fallen away because of the pain and pills. I’m eating well, drinking fluids, ready to begin this next chapter of the rest of my life.

Can I please post here each day to check in with you all? I am suddenly a single mom to three young children and I need to do this for myself, and my little ones of course. No one knows about my addiction (my life is somewhat public), so I will go through this process on my own. That’s how I want it. But having you to talk to and if you could look out for me a little bit, it would mean the whole world. If you can post any words of advice or encouragement please, I will drink them in like water - I promise!

Thank you so much.

[LeaAnn807]

Haha!  I guess you figured out that we would tell you to stay hydrated!  : )  It is very important though.  All the things you are doing will help you.  I also go to church, exercise and take my vitamins, which boggles the minds of my family as I am not a "vitamin girl" usually!  They do make a difference in the grand scheme of things.  There is no "all better" pill, but all of it together will be good for you.  I would also add that aftercare is SO important.  Even just talking with your pastor or a counselor.  My pastor is so supportive of me.  He knows basically everything.  It feels good to be able to tell someone, in person, all about it and how it has effected you.

You are very strong for doing this.  It will be the greatest gift you have ever given yourself or your children!

Keep posting.  This is a wonderful place!  We (I) can get a little goofy sometimes to keep our (my!) sanity, but you will get so much support!

Hugs and love and prayers to you!

Lea Ann

[NorcBgone]

I wanted to wish you the best of luck. I'm on day 2 off Norco, and trying to make it thru work before a nice long weekend. Stay tough, and keep posting. Its very therapeutic!

[dominosarah]

We will be here to support you as we know what you are going thru.  Aftercare is very important also as getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard part.  You are taking Ultram also?  Keep posting.  We are glad you found this site.......sara

[MeganDowney]

Thanks for your message. Yes, I do need to make plans for some kind of ongoing support once I get through the detox. Right now my immediate concerns are sticking it through when it gets tough physically.

As for the ultram I was prescribed Vicodin and Ultram. The Vicodin for serious flair ups and the Ultram for chronic pain. I rarely took the Ultram, but have used it the past 1-2 weeks as I got the Vicodin out of my system. At first I needed 6-8, then 4, then 2, and now I’m down to 1. This weekend I will go to zero and have no idea what to expect.

I really appreciate having a place to come for support during any tough moments that are ahead in the next week.   :)

[beatingthis]

You are doing GREAT!!! Sara is right, aftercare is important. The W/d's go away. Staying clean is the hard part.

Let us know how you are doing. OK?

Terry

[jstntime]

Hey Megan,

Great decision to stop.  Make sure the trams are gone when you stop or you will be tempted to take them.

Staying busy keps you distracted and since you have 3 little ones, that part shouldn't be a problem!!!   :)

Keep us posted, everyone here will help you,
Goodluck and Godspeed,

bob

[MeganDowney]

Hi Lea Ann,

Thanks so much! Remember how I was asking about the Tramdol taper thing yesterday? Well today, even though I have a day left in my system, I can tell that things are moving along already (chills, stomach). I'm sure it's from the pretty rapid taper I did. So perhaps (fingers crossed) I have diluted the intensity a bit. We’ll see though....either way I'm excited to just get this process moving along already!

Thank you for the hugs and thank you for the prayers. :)

Megan

[MeganDowney]

Thanks for replying. I hope your work day is going calmly for you. It sounds like a nice long, relaxing weekend will be therapeutic. :)

[MeganDowney]

Thanks for saying I'm doing great. :) I am excited about this all being behind me very soon. The fear of what WD might be like kept me a prisoner for the past couple months, so getting through this will be my first triumph!

[dominosarah]

Just stay positive and this part will be over before you know it.  sara

[MeganDowney]

Hi Bob,

Yes, all prescriptions are gone. :) thank you. And yes, the kids force you to keep moving, keep smiling and keep pushing yourself past anything you thought you were capable of. I'm sure that is a good thing. though a day resting in the sun and relaxing would surely have its benefits too!

Megan

[dominosarah]

Sun is very good for you during this time.  If you could get out and do that it would make your feel goods feel good!!!

[Cissy373]

Know your not alone here, there are soooooooooooo many nice people that know what your going through that will help all they can.

I am on day 3 clean from Hydro's and starting to feel somewhat better, although I know the road will be hard.

I pray you find a support system like AA or NA as they are very helpful having a live person to sit with and open up to.........they will not judge you in anyway and are so helpful.

I went for the longest time holding my addiction in but because of this forum they encouraged me to tell my husband and I did and it felt like such a huge weight had been lifted and he was very supportive.

I pray in time you will find at least one person you trust that you can open up to, as this may sound crazy but its like a healing inside of you.

Cissy

[MeganDowney]

I bet. :) The hot sun sounds heavenly.

What about probiotics? Have you (or anyone) tried those to help regulate stomach/intestinal stuff?

[MeganDowney]

Hi Cissy,

I appreciate your words of encouragement so much! And I believe you are right about opening up. I am actually, oddly looking forward to it. I need to do this WD part for myself, prove to myself that I am strong enough and then share with my family my accomplishment. I know having them for ongoing support down the road will be what keeps me being honest with myself. But this is important to me.

I LOVED my life before and I am very excited to get back to it. I feel like I've been on pause since all of this started. Does that make sense?

Megan

[MeganDowney]

Ok my friends, what is up with the stomach cramping thing? It hurts! How long does that lovely little bit last during detox?

[NorcBgone]

Take some immodium and for any other cramping try some Hylands restless leg syndrome meds from Wal Mart (not sure if you have access) I'm in the middle of this and about to try some sleep w/ the help of Melatonin. I hope you find some comfort. I'm also taking a lot of vitamins to include b-complex, potassium, and a woman's multi vitamin i picked up. good luck to you, and keep posting. it definitely helps~~

[gnarly_1]

HI Megan...well you have already been givin some good advise ...as for a time line on how long the cramping will last its hard to really say....withdrawals are a different experience for everyone it usually runs its course in 4 or 5 days with day 3 and 4 usually being the most struggle....you have done well with your taper so you did all the harm reduction you can your withdrawals shouldn't be to bad but as you can tell there never any fun...try to keep a positive attitude it goes a long way in this process and get comfortable with the saying "you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile" its only temporary this to shall pass...I noticed you said you attend church....God was instrumental during my withdrawal ...pray that your withdrawal symptoms are minor Jesus has much love and grace to give those that call out his name and at 3 am he's all you got...I couldn't have done it without God so pray with all your heart it helped me beyond measure...keep posting for support I will check on you in the morning good luck and God bless.....Gnarly          

[jstntime]

Hi Megan,

I hope you are hanging in there.  The stomach stuff will go away.  Thankfully it's one of the first things to get better.  As stated above, hit the immodium!!!

You have an amazing attitude.  The fact you are excited about getting through this process is one of the main reasons you will MAKE IT!!!!

We DO understand the desire to get your life back and we are all pulling for you to do just that!!!

Keep keeping, your old self is just around the corner,

bob

[MeganDowney]

Good morning,

My tummy seems better today. I took a prilosec last night and had some mint tea. I have an ulcer from taking too much ibuprofen while I was still competing (injury-related) which is what got me into this whole mess. I cannot take any NSAIDs (advil, alieve, etc.) so the only other thing were the painkillers. Anyway...

I have been gifted 3 hours this morning all by myself! So I am going to take a walk, go to a cafe and treat myself (before I start Saturday morning cleaning). That is a HUGE blessing. And those make up 2 out of the 5 big ways I distract myself anyway - cleaning and exercising, praying, reading and hot baths are the other three.

Megan

[dominosarah]

You are doing so well girl........Keep doing what you are doing.  If you need more distractions my house could use some spiffin up!!!           sara

[MeganDowney]

Ha! I wish. That was one thing I adjusted to after becoming a single mom. Everything will never, ever be *done.* I just keep trying to chip away at it everyday so it is a controlled chaos.

It's 10am here, back form my walk. Minor stomach cramping, some chills, restlessness but totally fine.

I figure if I can give birth to 3 kids naturally and breastfeed for weeks through cracked, bleeding nipples (oops - sorry about that one!) then I can handle some discomfort for a few days. :)

[MeganDowney]

Good morning everyone,

I wish I knew which WD day I was on technically. This tapering made it confusing, because my symptoms started a couple days ago but I had very doses of the tramadol still in my system.

Anyway, last night I finally had the urge to move stuff until 2pm and then I was able to sleep fine until 7am. So it was really just 4 hours of flipping around and being frustrated.

This morning I do feel more restless than yesterday. I imagine I might have a more difficult night tonight, but it's only a couple days right?

[MeganDowney]

Gosh - I already found two typos in that - I MUST be more tired than I realize. I meant 2am of course. :)