New boyfriend on methadone program

[newtimes]

Hi everybody
I have just started dating this man and become very attracted to him, he is warm, caring, affectionate and kind. He dropped the “I’m on methadone program” bomb on me after the first week and now I’m seriously not sure whether to continue with him.  He has opened up about being a heroin addict on and off for 3 years and has been on the meth program now for 6 months. We live on a remotely where access to drugs is very difficult so I have no fear that as long as we remain here heroin will not be an issue.  I have read a bit about methadone but he is reluctant to talk about how it affects him. Are there systems that are very common or standard among methadone users? He said he is on 20ml (a week/a day I’m not sure). Emotionally does it affect how you feel or ability to love?  He seems completely normal to me I would have never of picked it if he hadn’t told me. I don’t judge the situation and I believe he is a good person with a recent rough past, I would just like to know what I’m getting myself into here before I fall in love with him. Is this program successful, does anybody ever come off and live happily ever after?      

[dominosarah]

Educate yourself on drug addiction and Methadone.  Im glad to hear he was honest with you about this.  That is a plus.  I wish you the best in whatever choice you make......sara

[avisg]

new I am wondering how long have you two been together ?

[mr.lucky66]

This situation is unique and it could be good medicine, for now. Methadone is a double edged sword and can be really helpfull but it is very abused . I was off and on it for years on many clinics and it really worked well for a few years but after that, I was lazy bored and started using other drugs. Some people do well on methadone for a year or 2, others never do well on it because they have other addiction likes booze or cocaine and it just depends. Too many people these days are told they need methadone for life when they may not. I was told that and proved them wrong. It sounds like a good thing for him and especialy because he doesn't have to go to a clinic or be around users. My view is for most addicts, it's a good thing for a year or 2 and after that it can be very hard to get off of and not work as well with too many side effects. everyone is different. all best

[kc156]

Hello.  I take 9ml a day and will be off it soon.IF he is on 20ml he is on a VERY low dose. Just because he is on methadone ,does not mean he is bad to the bone,necessarily .
  What are his buddies like?
  While on methadone I have continued to work and never had a positive pee sample in 4 years.So play it  as it goes,he could just be a nice guy who found a way to help himself.

karl

[newtimes]

my gut feeling is that he is ready, not because I want him to be but because he is really making good postative fresh start here (he lived on the mainland previously). He doesn't go to a clinic for meth he has a doc prescription and goes to the pharmacy, he is the only person I know of (and its a small place) that is on this medication so its not like he is surrounded by drugs users. Even pot is extremly hard to get ahold of here. Anway if he wasnted that lifestyle back if and when he comes of meth he would have to move home and I certaintly am not leaving here for many years.
I'm really glad you have a postative story it gives me a bit of hope when making this decision to continue or not.

[MARTIE1967]

I am 43 and have been on methadone for 6 years, I have done all kinds of drugs my whole life and was never able to stay off long mostly methamphetamine...but I got addicted to pills(vicodin,loratab, oxycodone)after a surgery and couldnt get off them so I got on methadone, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself, FOR ME it takes all thought of using away...drug addiction is a disease, and we are not bad people because of this... if I didnt get on the program I probably would be dead or in prison...today I have a wonderful husband who supports me being on the program, a son who would never believe his mom was like that, and good friends,and we are getting ready to buy our second home.. I used to think methadone was for losers, I was UNEDUCATED and ARROGANT... I take 30 mg a day,its a mantenance dose, I dont feel it at all, I am happy healthy functioning person in society..its been the longest time in my life without street drugs, 6 years, at this point in my life those times on drugs seem worlds away......

regarding you.....its iffy if 6 months is long enough to start having a relationship.... its hard to say if he's ready... dont fool yourself into thinking he cant get drugs, if he is going to a clinic for methadone he can most certianly can find somone to get them.... ...but maybe he wont and he is at a point in his life he is ready to stop.... I got on the program and haven't used since, but some people do struggle..... and since you have kids you dont really need to be focused on his problems,and what he may or may not do.. I know its hard when you start to really care about someone, but in NA they say not to have a relationship for the first year.....and I have to say since you have kids, and dont know the first thing about recovery and addiction, and he is still new in recovery,I wouldnt get involved, but thats just my opinion, you really need to do whats right for you

sincerely, m