41 Days can't believe it still have concerns.

[miamichick86]

So I feel like just the other day I was on here freaking out about how to do this Sub detox and now it's 41days unreal. I still lack motivation and I feel depressed at times probably more frequent then not. When I first stopped I remember listening to music for the first time and getting excited now I just keep the radio off. Nothing makes me happy at all, I have no desire to relapse as i've said in the past and I feel like this too is part of the process. Idk if this is PAWS or not, i'm not to sure how that works. I have no patience as a parent like I used too which really *****. My BF which also quit with me is also going through the same thing we have no motivation to go to work to do anything. On the weekends I still have things to do so it's not like we stay in bed all day but believe me we wish we could. I just feel like doing the most minor thing is such a hassel. I made an appointment with a Psych but it's not until 9/19 im looking for one for my BF as he has no ins. Maybe all the years of abuse has messed with my happiness maker, maybe I need anti-depressants although the thought isn't appealing depending on something else  to get by but I mean if it helps my mood and my outlook why not? any thoughts? is anyone else struggling with this? or has struggled with this that has maybe made i past this dark time? - Thank you.  

[gnarly_1]

Hi  well sub is the second hardest drug to get off of  only methadone is worst the real key here is to accept your going to be like this for a wile I have said this a million times'' but you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' we have several members that have went threw sub detox im sure they will chim in when they see your post congrats on 41 days I always recamend '''whey protein shakes it has the amino's for the brain and the raw protein to give you some of your energy back you can get it at walmart for 15 bucks the chocolate is good when mixed with milk drink 2 a day and keep posting for support you will get threw this........Gnarly

[Amandag78]

Hey girl, congratulations on 41 days !!!
Give yourself more time to heal : )
If it makes you feel better, i was still lost and confused at 4 months clean...
So this feeling is so normal.
Things will make you happy again, just not at the moment.
Things will be cloudy for a while still yet.
Just keep pushing through and know there is an end to the darkness.
We are all rooting for you. You stay strong for you... Your a fighter ok xx

[lulu747]

Honey I am going to have to reiterate what I've told you in the past, and what IBK mentioned above.  You really need aftercare.  Before going to a doctor and taking yet ANOTHER pill to deal with your depression, try aftercare first.
Many, many addicts find that their depression and anxiety is significantly helped by aftercare.
Otherwise you are just white knuckling it and relapse is often what happens.
You are not open to NA/AA as I recall so why don't you google SMART recovery.  They have online meetings and you may have some in your area,
this is the path that I chose and have found it to work miracles in helping me cope, strategize, and learn new ways of thinking and changing my beliefs that are no longer relevant.
Think about it okay?
Congrats on 41 days.  I really want you to succeed.
xo
Lu

[miamichick86]

Thanks and yes you are right it feels good to be free from all the past craziness there's no doubt about it. Money wise lol we spend money going out to eat now. I know this isn't something that is going to happen over night I am absolutely certain of it I guess when I first got clean it was more a serge of emotions. I don't know I just don't feel excited about life. But I will give it time, the mess I created didn't happen over night.

[IBKleen]

While 41 days is amazing..in terms of withdrawal it is a short time. You have to give yourself time to heal. You (we as addicts) spend years abusing our bodies and minds and we expect to get better right away. We are always looking for the quick fix. Instead of focusing on the bad things how about you focus on the good. How much money have you two saved so far? You didn't wake up this morning running around looking for a pill did you? You don't have to chase down your dealer looking for pills and hope that he has them right? There is a whole lot of good..you just need to look at it.

And you DO NOT have PAWS. IF youw ere to have it it would manifest itself at 6 months. So many people convince themselves that they have it and relapse over it. Don't get caught in that viciousness.

I know it has been suggested to you but I think you and your boyfriend should seek aftercare. You need to begin your recovery process and getting well and you can't do it alone. I hope you seek the help you need.