OXY/Dilaudid addiction and withdrawal

[bilbal]

I am currently going through the same hell on earth as many of you are describing. It's funny because I can be any and all of you from your descriptions. This afternoon I had to level with my doctor and tell him that I had taken too many and I was sick and needed help. Having come out and told my doctor of my feelings was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. He agreed to write new presecriptions for Oxycontin and Diladid though he was reluctant and extremely disappointed. My story begins with the fact that I have had 10 back surgeries. Seven surgeries last year alone. I knew that the Oxycontin would eventually catch up with me but as long as I had it, I wasn't concerned. It was as if anything could happen as long as I have my Oxy, I will get through it. Today was the worst day of my life. My new 'scripts are not due until sunday and I tried to stretch out the remaining meds but couldn't. I took the last 40 I had this morning at 4:00 am and at 11:00 when I woke, hell ensued. The body ache, sweating, dizziness, all together hatred of being alive. I know you all can recognize what I'm saying unfortunately. I am of the opinion that this sh** should be out lawed but it's too late for me know. I even arranged a couple bags of Heroin but didn't go through with it. I finally decided to contact my doctor and lay it out on the table to him. He was thankful that I have come to him but at the same time he was very upset with the fact that I have been abusing the Oxy and Dilaudid. He agreed to help me (thank God) thins time and arranged for me to have my prescriptions filled. He was very concerned because at the time I saw him this afternoon I had already had a blood pressure of 155 over 135 and he was afraid of seizure and said it was the next thing that would happen. He also said that the meds I am on and the dosage is much stronger than most Heroin I would find and chances are I would have od'd and ended it all. I hate to admit that it seemed almost better than struggling the way I was. I have had my OXY and fel wonderful now but he and 2 of my other doctors are going to strictly regimen my usage. I have to make a matrix of sort and bring my pill bottles to weekly appts to make sure thatI am following orders. If I slip up more than a few times, he will wash his hands of me. I cannot afford to have him not be on my side.

What kind of things have you all done to decrease the effects of withdrawal? A buddy gave me a Suboxone one day a few weeks ago and it was magical. It lasted at least 24-30 hours and all of my withdrawal effects were gone. I want to stop this insanity but it's gonna take a lot of help from others and diligence on my part that I am not sure I have. The doc mentioned that I may need Methadone therapy. What are your thoughts on this?

[Anglstrlet]

Well all I can really say is that its amazing that you told your doctor!!! I would not have the courage to do that...So you have already taken a huge step..And I totally agree with you about these pescriptions being out lawed!!! Especially with 10 back Sugeries!! Its not a suprise you have a problem, I would have a problem as well!! My aunt has had 3 back surgeries and has a problem, but will not admit it!! I think the suboxone would help alot more then methodone...I have heard some horror stories about methadone and people getting addicted to that...But just try to do what your doctor says,and slowly taper down...You will have withdrawals but they shouldnt be bad!! I hope everything goes well....and Good Luck!!

[allaboutmary]

Do not go the methadone route. It is so great that your doctor wants to help you with this. You can do this. You should probably get some sort of conseling to help get you free of these once and forall. You could consider Suboxone, but you really have to want get off these and do the work.  Keep reading and posting. We will be here for you.

[flmagi]

Welcome to the forum. If your going to use another drug to get off the drugs, go with the suboxone. Keep away from the methadone. I'm a Subby myself and feel great.
Read all the info you can about the Sub. You will need to have a support system like N/A or couseling.  Good luck and keep posting. We'll help you all we can.

[worried878]

ask your doc, if he is licensed for the sub...stay away from the methadone...it was good that you told him...many would not in fear of their pills being cut off...that was a strong move

[road2recovery]

very hugh step!!!  CONGRATS!!!
May i ask why so many sugeries in one yr???  Damn anyone would get addicted!!
Anyway, like others said don't go methadone.
DO whatever your doc says, Please don't go against him, he is trusting you..Don't get sub from a friend, i am sure if u talk to him about it, then he will get it or find away..He was just honest with u and told you how high your intake was right..So he knows the risk..
Blood pressure is too high also...Please be carefull...
Ask for Clonodine, it lowers blood pressure and will help you...Only get it from your doctor..
Good luck
how is your pain not on med?
r2r

[bilbal]

Thanks all. Wow this is some forum. I couldn't believe the activity when I logged back on this afternoon.

First, let me thank you all for the support and the replies. THANK YOU!!!! I want so badly to get off this garbage. You are right, it was a big step to go directly to my doctor. I wasn't sure if he was going to wash his hands of me last night or not. He stayed an hour and half waiting for me and talking to me once I got there. I was in dire straits yesterday afternoon. A call was made for a couple of bags of H but I smartened up and did the right thing (this is the second time I have done the mature, responsible thing in two weeks) it feels good!!! LOL!!!!
My doctor was soooooo unbelievably cool that I still can't believe it. I feel fantasic right now (obviously from the oxy) but I want so badly to be rid of this all. I have been an addict for the better part of 20 years be it alcohol, cocaine, pills, whatever I could abuse I did. I have been without a drink for 12 years and without coke for 5. So, I know I can beat this too.

My surgeries are a result of multiple disc ruptures. The reason I had 7 last year was because the first was a fusion/hardware implant that I eventually began to get infections from. They had to go in and scrape infection off my spine and re-do the fusion 6 times and then finally last Nov. they went in and took out the hardware. There was a chance that I would never walk again but I did the day after. My doctors have been so cool because they know how much I have been through. As a couple of you have said, my doctor also has said, "how can you expect not to be addicted to meds after 10 back surgeries?"

I plan to do EXACTLY as I am told to by my doctors (pysch,surgeons,primary) and I am going to beat the hell out of this hold the OX and Dilaudid have on me. I'm sick of being controlled by this ****!!!

Thank you so much to "my new best friends I have yet to meet" I appreciate your support. I have no one I can talk to that understands this but one person. He has his own stuff going on and is a heroin addict. Our friendship is strong but I think we harm each other. I love him to death but I refuse to be the cause of his death. I will support him but I think I need to distance myself a bit from him. How should I handle that?

thank you,
bilbal

[feohmoon]

NO NO NO NO NO  - NO METHADONE, unless you want to have the kind of agonizing pain you have described for much longer.  Unless, because of your history with back surgery, you feel that you will be on pain meds forever.  Then, and only then, would I consider methadone.  Anyone that my fiance or I can prevent from making a mistake and listening only to the advocates for methadone - we will always encourage the other route.  

[feohmoon]

I should have read before posting!!!
Good to see that you have a good attitude about things and you seem very determined...that is what it takes.