Day 5 No Sub-Scared??

[justquit2]

Today is day 1 with no sub, my last dose was yesterday at 7am about 3mgs? I've only been taking the sub's for 4 days but I'm coming off a huge Hydro habit 25-30 10/325 tabs per day for about 4months , but I've been using for about 2 years. Had 4 level fusion back surgery done, but have no more pain with my back so no need to use anymore. Besides once I took up to 53 pills in one day!! that was when I said "I need to really stop" I find myself scared today, maybe afraid whats to come.  If Im gonna crave those hydros or sub's? Or if i'm gonna go through any W/D???  It's been 5 days with no Hydro's and most of the depression has gone away, no more crying over silly things like sad commercials!! Now i cry cuz i see some of the effects my addicition has left on my family and see the things I've neglected over the period of time.  Don't remember the old self scared to find out who I am now!!! Does anyone understand????

[10356]

I was honest with my Dr.s and found the same thing.. a willingness to help and pride that I came forward.. so happy for you !!

[justquit2]

Thanks to all of you! My doc just called me and wanted to see how I was doing.  He asked me when my last dose was and asked me I wanted to start a taper plan.  He had no idea I was struggling with this addiction.  He honestly thought I still needed the pills post surgery.  He even asked if I needed some meds for sleep or anxiety to help with the W/D. He had no idea I had went to a med detox and got Sub 2 months ago. It just occured to me, that if I would have just been honest with him he would have helped me long ago.  I know some doctors hand out pills like candy, but my Doc really does care and their are some really good Docs out there.  I told him i didn't need anything but I will continue to see him every month for post surgery check ups, which he said would only be for an additional 4 months unless something else develops. I should have just been honest with him long ago!! But oh well, I'm on the stay clean ride now.  I will start looking into some after care but for now it's you guys and everyone on this site. Thanks to all

[leeisgettingclean]

really good on canceling the refill....even at day 120 i dont want to be faced with that..luckily for me i bought all mine off the street....its still alil hard on the 14th of every month cause i know thats when my main girl gets hers and i just try to stay busy that day and not even remember it

[10356]

Congratulations on calling off the refills. I myself have done this and it is very empowering.. You have a wonderful attitude and this will take you far the next few days.. so happy for you that you have taken back control.. I'm sure your family has missed you and will be thrilled to have the Real you back !! Keep the positive attitude and enjoy rediscovering who you truly are :) lesa

[justquit2]

Thanks for the support. It means the world to me.  I'm gonna try to keep myself busy today clean house ( i mean really clean!!) which I haven't done in the past 4 days.  I feel good about that cuz right now i feel like I have the energy to do it without the use of the hydro's.  I'm glad to hear about the min W/D from the sub's Now i believe I can make it! I can't believe I'm gonna be sober this Christmas!! Haven't been sober on the holidays for the past 2 years.  1st in three years sober on  Christmas WOW!!!!! I'm excited for that day.  But til then I will take it one day at a time.  Whats so funny is that the pharmacy just called and left an automated msg that my refill was ready for pick up!! 80 count of 10/325's hydro's and I have no desire to pick them up!! I said to myself " I don't wanna be high anymore" I called my Doc's office and left them a msg to cancel the refills and I was in no need of them anymore.  Isn't that great!! Those pills made me feel so foggy headed, I don't want to feel that way anymore, I really want a clear mind I just want to be able to think straight. Thanks again for the support

[salsinator]

Hi Justquit,

I believe that we had some correspondence yesterday.  I think you are in a good spot right now.  4 days on subs would have been probably enough to withdrawal from the hydro, as the half life is only 4 hours for hydro, so most of the withdrawal would have been taken care of with the sub.  The great thing about sub is that the withdrawals from it only after a few days or next to nothing - it's when you take it long term that there are more problems.  You may experience some mild anxiety - which is most likely more mental than anything - and you may experience a little bit of the runs.  You will feel a bit tired and cold and may have a little trouble sleeping, but this should subside within a few days and it will not be nearly as bad as if you were going cold turkey off the hydro - or from long term sub use.  I have been in your shoes before - many of us have.  The great news is that you can and will get through this and the reward for doing so in priceless - what an awesome Christmas gift.  Relax, try to keep yourself occupied and post away - we will support you.