Oxycontin Slip

[jethro733]

After 40 days or so clean from a 400-600 mg a day habit of oxycontin I slipped up a couple of weeks ago for a good five day bender, then a few days later another 4 day binge.  Not exactly fun right now, though it's not nearly a bad as it was getting clean a month and a half ago was at first.  Still though, it feels like if I slipped back there again (and it wouldn't take long) I don't think I could deal with that pain right now.  

After 40 days my ulcer pain and IBS symptoms had really settled down quite a bit, and that's whats really pulling me up here.  While they stop the pain initially, there's no long term solution with them and they're really making things worse here.  It was sooo nice to not worry about them constantly, and now they're making life really quite uncomfortable again.  Sigh, thinking I could just get high one more time because I was really annoyed at something was a particularly bad move.  

[weaver71]

I've learned to accept I will be in early recovery for 3 years. I don't celebrate clean time, like months etc... I find I have to treat every day like it's my first day clean. I know it's a mental thing, but I couldn't imagine never altering my body with chemicals. Just for today I need a plan of recovery. Just for today I need accountability and growth. Aftercare becomes a sober life. It's simply taking care of oneself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I can't afford to fly on autopilot, I must always keep my eyes on the road and hands in the wheel. Give yourself a break and try it a different way. What are you going to do different this time?

[caregiver222]

One thing to keep in mind is that the body "resets" after a hiatus from an opiate. 600 mg a day in a person who has never used opiates has a good chance of causing respiratory arrest. Similarly, even though you have been using high doses, going off the opiate can cause the same dose you were used to to stop your breathing.

[dominosarah]

I am sorry to hear of your relapse.  Cutting off your sources is something that needs to be done.  What about aftercare?