?

[dirtycowboy]

ive been off of methadone from a 12yr. 120mg. a day stint for 4 1/2mos.i kicked the first month in jail then went to rehab for 3 1/2 mos.---although i did do 75 mg.fentanyl patches for about about 1 month while i was in rehab-----i just still dont feel right and dont know what to do---im home now and clean but think about going get some dilaudid or oxys or whatever all the time---i cant put my mind to rest

[dominosarah]

Awww cowboy, trust me if i can get my brain functioning after all the years of abuse you can too.  Give it some time.  It takes awhile to come back but it does and it is all worth it.  I am just so happy to see you back........sara

[dirtycowboy]

thank you all for the feedback---i am glad i am back with u nice people to help---i am gonna get some aftercare---just got out of treatment last saturday but im gonna go check out some meetings around here------its just sometimes i think that i might have damaged the brain chemistry where all the endorphins,serotonin,norepinepherin and all that good stuff wont recover--maybe its just the addict in me or some evil presence tryin to get to believe that so i will slip but im gonna stay strong and get through it---cant rain all the time right?thank you gnarly,716,avisg,and last but not least-sara-im glad im back too

[Gettingcleanagain1221]

Are you getting any kind of aftercare?

[avisg]

I am in agreement with sara and gnarly,
You have to get some recovery care if you dont there is a very high chance of relapse and with everything you have been threw I am sure you dont want to go back down that road .
Hang in there ...
avis

[dominosarah]

Listen to gnarly cowboy, he has been there and has some great insight.  By the way i am so glad you are back!!!          sara

[gnarly_1]

hey dude wow 12 yrs ....I dont meet many people how been on methadone longer then me ....I was on it 6 1/2yrs but have been clean for 103 days now....I have to agree with
dominosarah with getting some after care...I know I would have crashed and burned
along time ago if it wasn't for counseling and my church activity's...that and a few REAL friends that are there for me....it weird after being on methadone so long without a high
you wouldn't think we would crave.....but we do...its the brain receptors in our heads
that cause it...I cant say I never got high when I was on methadone but I quit the pot
and alcohol 5 yrs ago so its been a wile for me...there was a few times I got jacked
on methadone....I tapered myself off and had plenty on hand and would sometimes
take a realy high dose to get the "sick off" wile tapering but that only happened
a few times since I quite Ive been clean ever since...as for the cravings they happen ...its what you do with them that makes or breaks ya.....my conslor says you have to be mindful and take your thoughts captive...analyze them...is this rational or is this the addict in me thinking...you need to focus on something positive lissen to some music or go for a walk work in the garden or other hobby ..anything but dwell on the thoughts of using...first its a thought then an obsession then an action you need to interrupt the proses...aftercare weather it be a drug conslor or a N/A meeting will teach you the life skills to be able to do this ....without them your doomed to failure so become pro/active in your recovery ...it will be time well spent....methadone detox is one thing you or I never want to do again so dont light the fire of active addiction again.....snuff it out wile you still can....good luck and God bless...Gnarly          

[dominosarah]

Hi there!!!  Are you getting any aftercare?  You have been battling this for way to long. How are things going otherwise?          sara

[716]

no problem man, be proiud of yourself for doing what so many wish they could do and dont take the freedom for granted cuz the second you slip 4 1/2 months becomes 0 seconds and youll regret it.  good job man, stick with it.

[dirtycowboy]

thanks for the encouragement bro

[716]

never done methadone but heard the WDs last a long time, 12 years is a looong time and maybe just give it more time and dont get discouraged.  your brain has a lot of fixin to do.  going back to opiates will only "fix" you for a matter of hours and will just move your progress backwards.  youre not a junkie anymore man, youve been clean for 4 1/2 MONTHS!! ive been clean for 4 1/2 days...im  jealous, i wouldnt be looking back if i were you.  im sure somebody who knows more about methadone will help you out.