How long will the wd last?

[5yearoxymoron]

Male, 50, columbia, IA, member since Jun 2014

I'm a 50 year old male, husband & father with 3 children, the youngest being 5. I have had 5 back surgeries and two rotator cuff surgeries. I have been on oxycodone and a bunch of other hard core pain meds. I of course have used more than prescribed to me for several ye   ars, up to 450mg oxy daily now for years. It no longer works for pain, nor does it get me high anymore. I'm through being a slave to drugs, and want to be free of opioids all together. As of Friday 4 pm the 6th of June, I have not used. Today will be day three c/t for me. I'm not dealing well with it. Very sick, diarrhea, vomiting, and leg and stomach cramps. Plus, I am wanting to use badly. Please help! How much longer will this last. I gotta get some sleep soon or I will surely go crazy. any help?  

[jifmoc]

Congrats, I bet you thought you'd never see this many clean days right? Well, you have!

I year ago I quit but I changed nothing. And crept back up to using eventually. So, I ask, are you going to meetings? I beg of you to just go. They literally feel like a lifesaver in an ocean. And everyone has horror stories. Everyone. You won't believe it. If you have started going...good. But, if not, can't stress it enough.

And I have a quote from my fave poets (The Stones), in this case Keith Richards himself from one of his songs:  "Booze and pills and powders, you can choose your many sins. I've done my time in heaven and I did my time in hell. And it's another good-bye to another good friend....I gotta walk before they make me run."  

[5yearoxymoron]

My c/t detox started on June 6th 2014 {D day} I used that day to forever remind me of where I've been, and where I can go from that day forward. It is STILL a daily battle of mind over matter for me. I have no energy or desire to do much, but I press on. I will quote a verse from a favorite song that helps me get through the rough days :" I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regret. I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness, for once I'm at peace with myself. I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long...... I'm movin' on".By Rascall Flatts.  Music helps me heal. especially when I can be alone and jam to it.  Sunday July 6th will be 30 clean days for me Lord willing. But just for today I am content to be clean as I write to you all.

[jifmoc]

Hi, I just read your whole story on this thread and wow, what an achievement. Last year I remember having 20 something days and asking the same questions: I'm so depressed, bored, life blows etc. And I wanted to use so badly. And I did. I've had may relapses in the last year and now I'm back and let me tell you what I learned. I can't just stop taking pills and that's it. Life SUX like that. I should have done different, or fun, or uncomfortable things to keep my mind away from obsessing about pills. Meetings are an obvious choice but also, you may remember way back before pills, things you were interested in? Music? Rock-climbing (I'm doing that this week), painting, going out w/ friends that make you laugh. Fun stuff. Whatever does it for you. I learned like is no fun at all if it's just the same but w/o pills. YUCK! So, gotta do stuff.

At 18 days, you aren't gonna feel great, don't expect to. But, you can have moments of being "okay." Can you take a baby step? One little thing that excites you and write it down. I'm afraid of my feelings, but we don't need to be, because they always change.

[VICourageous]

Try your best to redirect your self asap..It takes a min to think about these Substances and a min to redirect..Go hit a meeting or call a clean friend!
Just DO NOT GIVE IN!! Surrender to the process. It does take TIME!!

CONGRATULATIONS on 18 hard earn days..Keep Trucking forward!
Bless

[5yearoxymoron]

No narcotics for 18 days for me. I am however craving  miserably and feel worn down and sick. any advice?

[Anything0228]

I'm only on day 2 and wish I was on the other side of day 7. One day at a time is so easy to say but I'm anxious about what each new day I will wake up to. At least it won't be a day addicted to pills. I know I have a lot of issues to work on after I deal with the physical stuff. Congratulations on another day! Prayers!

[motye51]

It's definitely a "push" attitude that your going to need over the next few months.  I felt the same way, but I did find that aftercare helped with the no motivation, no energy, depression, etc.... I attended 90 meetings in 90 days!  Someone had sent me a "Time" magazine article written by the AMA regarding it taking approximately 90 days for our brains to reboot.  I found that to be very true.  Hopefully, if that person reads this, they will repost it, because it made a lot of sense.  That's why most rehabs insist on the 90/90.  I do N/A of which I love!  I've made some very good friends, and yes, I was scared to go at first, being that I am a mother of 4 children, business owner, PTA member, etc.... I was afraid, but the benefits so outweigh the fears that I just did it!  Aftercare will help with the mental detox part, which it sounds like your starting to enter.  BTW....I had #2 for like a month and a half!  Protein shakes are a must right now!  I found eating fresh fruit and veges made me feel better as well, also, get outside and get some sun!  Literally!

[5yearoxymoron]

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks  without ANY pain killers for me. After 5 yrs of abuse, I have come to know that I don't have another detox left in me! I talked to a friend who also abused for years with narcotics today. The news was depressing for me. I was told to expect to feel the depression and no motivation for several more months! I pray this is not so. I am having a rough enough go of it as it is! I have kept hydrated and still can only eat crackers, and very light foods. Still have diarrhea, and feel queasy most days. Have continued the Imodium and a good source of vitamins. Started walking but find it hard. Please keep me in your thoughts and or prayers. Thanks!  

[jleeflcntrygrl]

You are doing absolutely wonderful! I love that u r being honest in your posts. I have been praying for you.keep goin! Life gets better!! Not only does your body have to heal but your mind does also, it takes time. You are Closer than u were yesterday. You are doin great!

[iwantmylifebacknow]

Congrats to you! 9 days is a huge accomplishment. you should be so proud!!I am on day 2 of at home detox. Im a chronic pain sufferer as well but I was abusing hydrocodone to feel better mentally. It used to give me a ton of energy however, the last several months I withdrew from everything and everyone. It's like it stopped working and I just kept taking more with no results! I cut myself off finally and will be calling my dr tomorrow to tell him to cancel my refill that is at the drug store for 6/27 pick up. That phone call tomorrow will reassure me even more that I beat this awful drug. Best of luck to you. Day 2 ***** so far  im shaking, sweats, runs, restless legs etc. Hope I can make it thru work tomorrow! I can't wait to be at day 9! Glad you made it to church, I couldn't do it! Maybe next week! Stay positive and be proud!! We will get our lives back because we want to and we deserve it!

[Jinx_777]

a week is a huge achievement and you should be proud.  you are at the top of the hill looking down now.  it will take some time to be yourself completely again, but nourish yourself, vitamins, amino acids, protein and lots of water.   that should help with the rest of it for you.  

[5yearoxymoron]

It has been nine days  without pills for me today. My back has flared up angrily several times, but I am determined to win. Also, the depression and anxiety has yet to subside. Did go to church today but  had to convince myself to do so. Have a great day all!

[clean_in_ks]

Congrats on the sleep..and on your first WEEK...7 WHOLE DAYS CLEAN!!

Time to start thinking about some aftercare plans....you'll soon be feeling physically good enough to get out more.  Take a walk in the sunshine today if you can, just a short one, ok?

[msdelight]

Yay for you! One week is a milestone and now the only place to go is up, if you simply just don't use! Being overly emotional is disturbing but so normal and so necessary. Take it a day at a time. A happy day is coming soon!

[5yearoxymoron]

Morning all. Today is 1 WEEK for me @ 1 p.m.! Although I know I have a long battle ahead, the milestone today is very emotional for me. I know that I could not have made it without you folks here, and my amazing wife. Lucky for me she works in Law enforcement and deals with people as they detox behind bars. (don't know if I could do  that). I am very emotional this A.M., but did get 5 1/2 hrs of sleep. Thank you all!

[VICourageous]

Time & Patience..My Friend above said the rest. I came clean in 2012 c/t off of 3 meds and I was 56..It is not easy when we get older. Just make sure you drink lots of fluids and maybe add some electrolyte powder to the water..Get some protein powder too..As we age we need more Protein and less Carbs..So try to eat very healthy and take some good vit/min..This here will all balance out soon and then the work really begins..working on staying clean..
Bless
PS..Welcome on feeling these feelings again..You are getting there!! Yahoooo!

[clean_in_ks]

YEAH for DAY 6!!!!  Yes, it's the same way for almost all of us.....the anxiety....the depression....the FLOOD of emotions.  Your brain chemistry is in shock right now....you ripped a 5 yr band aide off your neurotransmitters.  They are bare and confused....but they're healing.

Go ahead and cry.....take some HOT Epsom salt baths...they help in ways you cannot imagine. The drop in our serotonin levels has been attributed to the initial anxiety/panic and depression.  Let yourself heal and level out....every single minute you don't re-enter a drug into your system you ARE healing.  Day 6 is HUGE compared to 5 yrs of use, right?  Like a scale....it will balance out.
A comment about your pain......REBOUND pain is also very common!!  Your pain receptors are lost and they will scream a bit louder for 30 days or so.  Please wait to evaluate your true pain levels until you get some more time under your belt.  It got better for most of us....but we had to go thru the rebound pain first.

A word about Lyrica....besides being VERY expensive, causing drowsiness, dizziness and weight gain....it is a huge risk to take if you have ANY alcohol or drug abuse in your medical history.  It can cause "drug seeking behavior" and has a set of w/drawal symptoms that are hell, too.
You can put Lyrica in the search bar above on this forum and read some of the stories of people that were asking for helping getting off of it.

If you can find some youtube videos or shows that make you LAUGH...you will belly laugh as hard as you cry.....because that's what our emotions do too.  Laughter and MUSIC both produce endorphins.  Did you know the definition of endorphins is:  "endogenous morphine"?   Endorphins are endogenous opioid inhibitory neuropeptides.  They are produced by the central nervous system and pituitary gland.  Endo-morphine..."a morphine-like substance originating from within the body."

Ok...may be WAY too much information for you, huh?  LOL
BUT....when we put a chemical opioid into our bodies...they QUIT producing these natural, God-given natural chemicals.

Just keep hanging on.....6 days is GREAT......and you will turn a corner pretty soon.....lots of corners actually......but recovery is full of surprises....we just have to WANT them bad enough to endure the healing of our bodies.

[5yearoxymoron]

Ok, so I am in panic mode! I am in day 6, and I am SO emotional! I am a grown 50 yr. old male that has done nothing but cry and have become depressed,  and an emotional wreck! Is this normal?

[lulu747]

Hey man you are doing great!  Bless your wife because the clonidine is a LIFE SAVER in opiate detox.  I did two, one without the second with and it made all the difference in the world.  You are making amazing progress considering it's early days and you were on such a high dose.  You will find after a month or so that you are better able to evaluate your pain.  I took meds for chronic pain and was shocked to discover that I was in 75% less pain without the pills than I was on them.  It did take a month or so before it levelled out.  Be patient.  Know there will be ups and downs. Avoid the Lyrica.  I have heard nothing but horror stories about that drug.  Do lots of research. Put roadblocks in place and maybe start thinking about some aftercare.  Getting clean is no picnic, staying clean is a lot of hard work.  There are many alternative pain management plans.  Discuss them with your doc.
Keep going.  Proud of you...
Lu

[5yearoxymoron]

Thanks for the advice clean. You seem to know your way around this disease. I gave the pills to my wife. (she is now in possession of over 500 30mg pills.(Did I mention she is in law enforcement?) She can dispose of them if she has not already, she doesn't say, and I don't ask. She said my dr mentioned putting me on a drug called Lyrica, but It looks like it too can be abused. I am not getting anymore narcotics from my dr. I did manage to take my 5 yr. old to dairy queen to play and eat today. I swear when we got home I felt drained and relieved to be home. I have had that " don't wanna leave home feeling for the last 7-8 mos. Just want to be me. thanks for all the advice and encouragement!

[clean_in_ks]

You're doing GREAT!!!  Day 5 is HUGE off your dose!!!!

Feeling drained...YES
Abnormal smells....YES
Panic attacks....YES

I had all of those, too!  The bottle of pills you found needs to be flushed if you're truly done.....or give them to your wife, ok?  Your head "knows" they are around and will talk to you.  Best to quiet THAT voice.  Just knowing there is nothing for you to take will affect how you do with all this.
Your wife talking to your dr is GREAT!!  But now that you HAVE gone CT and have 5 days in......I hope you won't take anything pain meds even after you see your dr on the 23rd.  The only way to get thru this to the other side is to walk thru it.......we can't go around it or over it or under it.....we truly have to walk thru the pain; physical, emotional and spiritual.  

You keep hangin on.......you're in the midst of the hardest week of your life....and nobody but another opiate addict will understand the pure hell of doing it.  

Your senses will ALL begin to come alive....not just your nose!  I smelled a gross smell for awhile....and kept asking my hubby if he smelled it.  Of course he didn't, but our central nervous systems have been numbed out for a LONG time.  Colors will be more vibrant, the sun may even be too bright at first...noises even hurt my ears that never hurt them before...the feelings we regain are part of "coming alive" and being clean.  Embrace the good stuff....we have to get thru the nasties to enjoy the goodies.  

[Pat1956100]

Hi there and congrats on 5 days.  You are doing really well.
Yes, it is normal to feel drained.  I could hardly lift my arms to wash my hair and I felt like I was walking through mud.  I was shocked as I had never felt that way in my life.  Panic attacks are common as well.  Just remember to breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
A brand new you will happen.  It's just going to take time.  A lot longer than what we were expecting.  Most of us have trouble with energy, anxiety and sleep issues after detox.  
Just keep posting and let us know what you are experiencing and we can help you through.

[5yearoxymoron]

Just wanted to drop a line to say that Although it is day five c/t, I feel drained. Also everything smells really abnormal. Had a panic attack yesterday as I found a bottle of pills in a vehicle. I seldom look in the console, but while searching for a cd, I found them. Had to take them right home and put them out of my reach. I realize It took years to get where I was, but wish it would get easier. I am wondering if the old me will ever return. Anyone else have these experiences? I've gone this far so no turning back now.PILL FREE

[jerry4664]

EXCELLENT, CT is the only way for me when I went through this great job the gatorade helps alot I drank gallons of sun tea and never had a caffine issue so I was good with the tea but as far as food I only wanted saltine crakers for the firts few days then I went nuts and ate anything i wanted felt good for a while then I slowed down and ate right I kinda did it just because .. good wishes in you new travel. PILL FREE