Pain controll and oxycontin

[skipper]

I am a 50 year old man who did drugs (mostly IV). morphine and diliaudid  were      
my drugs of choice. I went clean for 17 years before trouble in the cervical spine
required 2 surgerys over 2 years.  my spine is now stable but i'm still in constant,
intractable pain for which  i take oxy-contin (40mg X 3a day).

my question :
I kike to periodically detox  myself for several reasions. i try to think of it as vac-
ation from drugs. Am i causing myself harm in doing this? i can't talk to my MD
about this as it would reqire going over transgerssions (to say the least) that
happened 20 years ago.
one tough, old grizzled, hype and pill head
who trys to keep an angel on his shoulder!
kip

[jennyfla]

Oh boy that must have been tough!!!
You're a wonderful husband for being strong for your wife and picking up her script!
I think we're all a victim of circumstances, but as i always said, addicts are very special people, we are the ones who feel so deeply, sometimes this crazy world just gets to be too much!
I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder why this happened to me, why why?  Then I think about all the wonderful things in my life, especially my three beautiful children (my gifts from god).  Each one is very unique and special.  They were given to me during their short time on earth to be cared for and loved.  I do this, but it's not my best because i'm an addict and i'm ashamed of that.
I don't really know where i'm going with this, but basically, we need to be thankful for what we have (which i know you are), and not be so hard on ourselves.  Here's a great big cheer that you were able to accomplish your mission and get your wife her pills without slipping a few outta the jar!!!!!
Hang in there!  
Lv Jenny

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Picture this. About 9:30 this morning my wife calls and asks me to pick up a script at her doctor's office and get it filled. She couldn't break away from work to do it herself and she was hurting. Well, it was a script for 60 MS Contin! The very drug that I have been clean from. I prayed(a lot)during the two hours it took to get the job accomplished. If only she knew what she put me through? We did have a good lunch together and enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine. Now I'm at home but the struggle continues. Sometimes, it's one minute at a time! I don't feel the least bit special, just a victim of circumstance and temptation who's trying to do the right thing for a change.

Thanks for the nice compliment, Jenny!

J.B.

[jennyfla]

That's great news JB, I really hope you get some positive news!!!
You may think your wife is your better half, but you're pretty special too!
Lv Jenny

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

We got some good news for a change yesterday. My wife has a consult with the surgeon on next Thursday to schedule the operation. He thinks the kidney can be saved. In the meantime, she is being kept as painfree as possible and hates every minute of it.  Imagine that! If I were in her shoes, I'd be in la-la land and loving every moment.  My "better half" truly is my better half!

J.B.

[Telby]

It sounds like the mid west is in for a few more Spring type days so enjoy.  You are as always in my thoughts, hope your wife is feeling good and that all is well.  Much love, Telby

[jennyfla]

Good luck with your detox Kip, you amaze me with how you can do that over and over...  I'm gonna keep you in my thoughts when i get the guts to finally do it!!!
Telby, Good luck, i hope everything is going ok with your detox sweetie.  Just hang in there, with each passing minute you are that much closer to freedom.
JB, I can't imagine you and your wife's pain with loosing a child.  I love my three children 'too' much sometimes, it can even get painful if that makes sense.  The pain of loosing a child is beyond my ability to even conceive!  My heart cries for you and your wife right now.  You two are very special people together! :)
Lv Jenny