day 9! Why doesn't it feel good to be clean?

[tnlovesjd]

i know its really good to be clean for 9 days, my problem is i cant remember what its like to feel good naturally. I cant remember how good life use to feel. All i can think of is if i had a pill right now i'd be happy, cleaning, cooking with my kids. Even though the withdrawls are gone i just dont feel good. What was life like before the pills? Can any of you guys tell me if you do wake up feeling good, can you work and take care of your family and be happy doing it? I just cant imagine doing all those things and feel good doing it? I feel like im never gonna feel normal. When will i wake up and think wow what a beautiful day? Now when i wake up i first get mad cause my alarm is going off. I work at 3 a.m 6 days a week so its pretty early. Then once im past the point of anger towards my alarm i think about taking a pill, then i remember that i dont do that any more. I use to wake up and pop a pill before i'd do anything else. Then i think of all the work i have to do that day. That then bums me out. I swear it takes a good hour until i finally think ok, i can do this day. I guess my question is, how long til you got your love for life back? I remember when the smell of fresh laundry would put me in a good mood, you know the simple things in life. How do i program my mind to enjoy life without pills? I dont know how. Sorry guys, thats two days in a row that i've vented to you guys. I really do try to be positive. I guess im just feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for any advice. You guys are all so great, i wish i knew each of you personally.

[littlebit667]

I am ending day 17 and thing are getting a bit brighter.  I hope the same for you.  Wonderful you are at 9 days.  

[Rayne122151]

I am a realist and an experienced user so I pull no punches just imagine how long your brain has been sedated it takes more than 9 days to get your normal thinking and signs and enjoyment back because your brain is waking up again along with all your senses I can tell you this it will all come back!! When you were using you were sedating all of you senses.  You were only operating off of instinct while using. Now your getting a reality check. I'm a christian and I love the lord and one day I prayed he would show me why I was doing this and why it had a hold on me he showed me in the bible. The word in the bible is called Pharmacia which means Pharmacy which is the root word for Witch Craft! God bless you and keep you you've taken back your life now fight!!

[justsaynotodrugs]

     First you need to take it one day at a time.  Withdrawals want go away over night but you are doing the best thing by staying busy.  That is what helped me a lot going to meetings and working from sun up till sun down. then I did not have time to think about getting high I had had enough of the wild life and drugs I made a decision I was going to do what it took to stay clean from dope. And that's the way I live today without the use of drugs and alcohol.        You can do it hang in there.    Let go let God.

[ImDONENoMore]

I agree with laurel - it took about 30 days for me to realize I had a really good chance of making it and I had moments where I truly believed that life was going to get better (and actually was).

So hang in there and don't lose hope.  This time will pay off you'll see.  :)

[laurel453]

i have just had a look at my dates and my first "happy" day was the 27th... i spent the afternoon crying for being clean and happy with my first clean month... i didn't think i was going to do it, i had a lot of cravings, depression and lack of energy and motivation until then... i still had tough days with bouts of depression and lack of motivation but you will see that you will also have good days and you cling to these days, i clinged to that 27th day... and meanwhile  keep counting clean days and giving your body time to heal.... you have got your body used to have its levels of serotonin and dopamine messed up through taking opiates.... you need giving yourself time to heal and start doing it naturally....

[gnarly_1]

HI RECOVERY IS a gradual process .....you dident become an addict overnight its about the same for recovery it takes some time right now your brain is screaming for endorphin and your not getting any ...with time your brain will start producing it on its own again but again it takes time you should focus your attention on aftercare mabe N/A or A/A but yuor going to need something to help you threw these difficult times you can work on your recovery its not going to find you sitting in front of the tv you need to make it a priority you get out what you put in the whole recovery thing is a process you will learn how to thing and reason in a new way just know detoxing is only the beginning recovery takes a lifetime but it is so so worth it....you will begin to smell the roses again and the simple things in life will bring you joy but again this wont happen overnight hang in there post often for support good luck and God bless.....Gnarly