Should I Post Here?

[lmccoy]

Hi
I have been posting as I switched from Oxys to methadone and tapered down to a low dose(5mg) of the methadone. I quit for about 3 days and the pain was more than I can deal with. The withdrawls at that point were not much of a issue. Reading about how to taper was so helpfull, and I get alot of help from the site, but for the time being I have to accept that I will not be drug free. It feels dishonest to respond to any posts because I am on a continueing low dose of med.
It might seem that I should be on the pain site, but I abused the higher doses of oxy when I was on them and am a recovering alcoholic, so I'm familiar with signs/simptoms of abuse. On these low doses of meth. I am doing ok not abusing them, but have concerns and dissapointment about being "unclean".
Another concern is that in posting to a site for addicts and stateing that I am an addict and am able to take an opiate at any level and not screw up my life might be very unhealthy for the recovery of others.
I don't know how I would have gotten this far without the help of the site, but I have the option of just reading or not discussing the fact that I am still on some medication. I just don't seem to fit well anywhere, but don't feel like causing any debate or damage to anyone elses sobriety.

[avisg]

sara is right you are very welcome .Stop beating yourself up and look how far you have come .you know u should be here and we are happy to have you ..

[lmccoy]

Hi Sara
Thanks for the response, I tryed to respond earlyer and somehow erased it! Things are so much better now that when I was on the higher doses  of oxy or methadone. The amount of energy I have is just amazing. Now I just have to be carfull not to overdue trying to catch back up on 6 years of delayed farm chores. Learning not to work untill I puke will be tricky, but yesterday I was able to make myself stop at about noon and that was a victory.Time is flying and lots of my work is seasonal, so the temptation to just medicate and work on is always there, but the liberation of being on such a reduced amt. is the most important thing to me now.

[dominosarah]

You are more than welcome here.  We would rather see you on a low dose of methadone than a high dose of oxy's.  There has been many debates on clean or not and that isnt up to us to say one way or another.  We are all individuals and have to do what is right for us.  Some of us can ct, others cant and taper and some take methadone or sub.  If this is working for you then that is whats important.  Each and everyone of us has something to bring to this forum including you.  We are here for emotional support.  Hope this has helped.......sara