Psychotic Episodes

[TommyBee]

My story is long and most of you have heard it before from others. I have abused vicodin for about 7 years. I have tried to detox a few times with short term success. I did detox, but I went back to the meds. In May 2007 I tried to detox again and I hade a seizure. I spent some time in the hospital, but again a little whie later I was back on the meds. I then decieded to go to the hospital and detox, which I should have done in the first place. I lasted a little while, but again I went back to vicodin. This is where it gets weird. In September I had a psychotic episode. I ended up getting arrested and taken to the hospital which is the only reason I knew I was sick. I don't remember most things and what I do remember was a delusion. What I remember happening did, but my perspective of it was "crazy." The toxicology screen showed I had no drugs in my system, which I find really strange. I was treated for a mental disorder and the doctors don't know why it happened. I did have more episodes after that, but they were shorter. I have told the doctors that I am an addict. They don't seem to think that it has anything to do with what happened. Has anyone ever heard of this happening from withdrawals? even though the doctors don't think so, I think it may have something to do with it. I would be thankful for any feedback. Also, there is a lot more to this story. I just tried to make it short as I could. If you want to know anything plase ask. Thank you.

[marcatj]

i know... i get it.  of course they were our decisions.  but how we got there.. well, there were reasons.  there were reasons we made such bad decisions..

but you're exactly right - there's no where to look but forward.

[TommyBee]

That is a good quote, but I don't believe that in my case. It IS my fault for going down. I made those decisions to do the things I did and now I have to take responsibility.

I am sorry your year was bad as well. Nothing for us to do, but to look forward to a good future, right?

(Now I have to get myself to believe that)

[TommyBee]

Funny, you didn't leave the house when you took pills and I can't leave the house without pills or whatever.

You were the life of the party when you were clean, I was the life of the party when I had a pocket full of pills, a bag of blow, and a bottle of morphine in my pocket.

I am not dumb, but I pulled a lot of **** in college. I got my GED and i usually paid people to do my work. Texted myself the answers to tests to my cell phone.

Anyway, I am really going to look into some more therapy. I have to do something. And staying off drugs will be my first obstical.

[marcatj]

totally.  living unconcious is WAY easier...  but in my opinion, is a miserable existence.

and yes - forever is way way better!!!!!

and i'm sorry your year was bad.  i get it. i mean, in my way... I try to remember what Martin Luther King said - it's not our fault for going down, but it's our responsibility for getting back up.

i couldn't go down any further.. i HAD to go up!!  :)

[TommyBee]

How about instead of staying clean for a while, I stay clean forever?

I agree with you there, last year was my "perfect storm" There were many small storms in previous years that led to it, but last year was...I cant even put it in words.

You are right about the emotionally healthy being hard work. Physically as well. When I didn't give a s*** it was so easy.

[marcatj]

.. and if you graduated with honors, you're smarter than you let on.  or than you acknowledge.

it even takes a smart guy to cheat that well...