well babe, you didn't do it on "purpose." again - easy for me to say. but in my humble opinion, it's all about intention. and you did not go out and intend to put that person in the hospital. it was an accident. so you will have to find some way to make peace with that..
and btw - when i was using alot of pills, i never left the house. my life was on complete hold... i barely even answered the phone.
that changed ALOT when i got clean. i'd always been the life of the party before that... and thank God, i'm getting back to my fun self..
you know, if your folks will lend you the $$, it can't HURT...
hmm... not an "active" addict anyway.... not yet (when i went.. like, went/went - for the long haul...)
That is something i am going to look into. I have to do something.
I do nothing all day. The only time I leave the house is to see doctors. I dropped out of grad school when this first happened. (Yes, I graduated with honors while I was on a lot of drugs.) I really not that smart, just good at cheating. I signed back up for class that started monday and I walked out after an hour. I staarted my second class tonight. I didn't go. I have had three calls for job interviews this week, but I never go.
I keep thinking how much I want to start life again, then I get afraid I will go crazy in public again. Also, I have so many doctor appointments, how can I get a job?
BTW, when I did have an episode in public, I put someone in the hospital. That is tough to live with.
hun.. you'll know. maybe it's a combo of both...
the only way you'll ever really know is to stay clean for awhile. i'm not saying that to help you stay off drugs (altho of course i want you to.) i'm saying that because.. well, it's true.
may as well be armed with the correct info.
and for what it's worth, i wasn't an addict when i went. i think it's an amazing tool, regardless.
i'll quit touting it to you (lol,) but if you want to know more, please just ask.
(and if you are wondering how i ended up in this situation after getting "so healthy".. well, just ask that too!) the short of it is, last year was a "perfect storm."... as well, it takes work to stay emotionally healthy.. it really is "the road less traveled." and it's hard work... but worth it...
Wow, thank you.
Maybe I am trying to hard, but I really want to believe it was the w/ds.
There is really a lot more to my story. There was also the 10 to 20 episodes that happened after the first one I talked about. I just made it short so people would read it. If you have any questions, just ask.
I detoxed and did not have an episode for about a month. Then I took pills again and it happened a few days ago when I was tapering down. Thats why I just stopped and started taking clonidine. It hasn't happened since.
The mind is a very powerful thing. The drugs may have nothing to do with it.
Another reason I want to think it was because of drugs, is because it might help stop me the next time I think about using.
buddy, it was really that good.. i wouldn't say it if it hadn't truly changed my life. i had no idea..
and yes, she was a little pricey. my insurance covered some. and i found her through a good friend, who at the time saw I was struggling and suggested i go see her (she had gone to her too.)
out of all of the money i have spent in my life (and girlfriend can spend!) it was the one thing i can honestly say was the best thing i ever paid for. or done for myself.
because nothing means sh** unless your happy. she taught me (or helped me teach me.. kinda both) to realize alot of things i had no idea about (going on inside me) as well, how to let it go.
and that i actually was worthy. and worthy of happiness...