Relapse again!

[virgo1969]

Well Ive gone and done it again! I have started using again after being clean from vic's for almost 6 months but now I have started on Librium just to get high. I have felt so down in the dumps lately about life in general and things on the homefront SUCK right now. I'm actually sitting here thinking of excuses to go to urgent care after work to see what I can get. I know how wrong this is and I want to stop but it's like that little devil on my shoulder saying "C'mon, one ain't gonna kill ya". But I know evenetually it will.

I have been taking two 25mg librium a day for about 20 days now. One at around 5pm and the other at 10pm. They are in capsule form so there is no way of breaking them up. Is there any way to taper down slightly so the w/d's won't be so bad or should I just bite the bullet and go c/t? I know benzo w/d's are more dangerous than opiates.

I feel like such a loser for falling into this trap again.

Thanks for any support,
Jackie

[christos24]

hang in there, ive done the whole urgent care thing, i actually mastered it...i know the exhilarating feelinhg you feel and how good it feels getting something when you leave. now you should be somewhat happy that you havent gone back to using opiates again, but benzos can be addicting especially with an addictive past, and the withdrawals can be deadly. i was a hardcore Heroin and Oxycontin addict for over two years, and thenw ehn i could not obtain that I would rely on doctor shoppping urgent caree and emergency rooms. I had over 55 medical bills and by that time even saying my anme ina ny medical facility i would be shunned and denied even for legit reasons. it was sad and pathetic. along with opiates, I was addicted to xanax or any other benzo(valium, librium, temezepam, clonazepam, lorazepam,triazolam etc.) and sleeping pills-ambien(zolpidem), sonata(zaleplon), and lunesta(epizopiclone) for two years as well. I would take the benzos with opaites to add to the effects or while withdrawling to ease it somewhat and i would take the sleeping pills to aid in sleeping while high and withdrawling as well.Librium was the first benzo to be discovered and used and is looked at as a weak benzodiazepine. it is used in tpaering down heavy benzo users, such as users of xanax or klonopin, btu can still be habit forming. be careful, dont go to the urgent cares its the addicitive personalities coming out that you were taming. stay strong and conitue getting better i know tis extrmely tough but starting up with benzos will open up a whole new door in youre addiction. beleive me withdrawling from benzos is terrible and though opiate withdrawal may feel worse you cana ctually die from benzo withdrawal and the trmeorsand convulsions are the scariests thigns you will ever experience. i wish that upon no one.

[puranx]

you need aftercare for life most likley. You run to the pills or drugs because life gets you down. If thats the case you will never be free of them without constant monitoring.

[GoingToMakeIt]

That is a good idea to try. Don't mess around going cold turkey on Benzos.

[virgo1969]

I would ask the dr but unfortunately, like an addict, the script isn't mine. I know I started playing with fire when I took the 1st one but I have to admit once and for all, I AM AN ADDICT! I think I may try going to an urgent care center that isn't part of my health insurance and I'm sure they will help. I just can't believe i went and messed up again!!!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Librium comes in 5, 10 & 25mg doses.
I would highly recommend asking your Dr for help with this.