Rough Day

[minn66]

Hi everyone. I am having a rough day today. I don't have any meds but could get some if I asked my doctor. I am hurting really bad and my boss is giving me a hard time about leaving work to go to physical therapy. Please you all, pray for me. I have made it before but at the same time I feel so alone and weak.

Thank you all for being here and listening,

Love,
Minn

[minn66]

Hi everyone,

No, the results aren't back, or if they are no one had told me. I actually could have gone back to work today. My boss had called me yesterday evening to tell me I was entitled to " due process " and that they shouldn't have sent me home! I called him back after a few minutes and told him I would use a personal day today but would be back to work Thursday. None of this makes any sense. Poor hubby stayed home from work to be with me today. I concentrated on writing statements to document what happened while it was fresh in my mind and contacted the employee organization. It isn't really a union but they do provide members assistance with work harassment, grievances and such. So, as much as I hate conflict, I believe I am going to file a hostile workplace complaint.

I have been practicing deep breathing exercises and telling myself it is going to be OK. Hubby has been very sweet. He offered to cook me something but all I could eat was some (more) soup and crackers.

I am so thankful I have you all to talk to. You are appreciated far more than you know.

Minn

[IwillDoThis]

hang in there minn knowing you did nothing wrong and when this test comes back negative they will know you did nothing wrong.  It definitely sounds as if you have been singled out for the fmla.

Great job just staying on track, not letting this really stressful situation give you set backs.  Stay strong!

[zoea]

Im a bit lost on days. Im so sorry.this is happening. The results r they back.
Which will be fine i know. U back at work now.
Its 8pm now. Let me know how u r Hun
I can't believe your work place has treated u so terrible. Maybe its time to have a serious word with them.

Hugs Zoe x

[minn66]

Thank you, selfinduced. I am trying not to worry. I know I haven't done anything wrong. At the same time, it bothers me that my supervisor would go to these lengths. I work in an IT department. While there is a drug test policy in place, it is usually random testing for direct care staff. As far as I know, none of the "professional" staff have ever been tested.  Even a girl who came back from lunch drunk, stumbling and slurring. She took a leave of absence and that was that. There was absolutely no probable cause in my case. They couldn't come up with anything other than my going to my car. The truth will come out. I have almost 24 years there. I don't know how I will be able to make it to retirement at 30 years in such a hostile work environment. Believe me, I have been trying to transfer but so far, no luck.

Thank you again, everyone, for your encouragement and support.

Minn

[selfinduced]

What a freekin mess. From what I know especially depending on your job, they must release you from your job pending results of drug test or they open themselves up for a lawsuit. Say you do something really wacked at work while they are awaiting results and harm someone. I am just giving an example of course. They are following normal protocol for a drug type scenario.Having said that, I would throw the book at them when your results come back clean.Try to be positive. Worrying won't solve anything anyway. Do not be embarrassed to show your face again, think of this as a "what could happen if one keeps using". Stay in recovery no matter what. Injustice happens, it is how we handle it that counts. Peace on it's way to you....

[minn66]

Good morning, everyone,

I actually don't take any opiates at all. I haven't since November, 2011. The only things I take are occasionally a muscle relaxer at night and the Clorazepate I am weaning off of. When they called me in it was supposedly for a meeting. I have a tape recording app on my phone so I turned it on before going in. I am glad I did. I was told that I had been exhibiting " erratic behavior " and that I had been seen going to my car to sit. Where I work there are beautiful ground and I do sometimes go sit in my car on break or during lunch. In fact, a lot of people do. In fact, there is one guy who every single day gets in his car and actually drives to a different area on grounds away from the building we work in. Anyway, I was very calm and asked what specific behavior I had exhibited. They couldn't give me an answer! Finally my boss said that I had sent an inappropriate email. I asked what email I specifically sent that was inappropriate and he couldn't tell me. Also, during this time, a guy whom I don't know was sitting there with a urine cup!

I said that if I had been exhibiting this behavior why no one had counseled me about it. Again, no answer to that question. The ironic thing is that I had just received an email that morning from HR that my intermittent fmla had been approved. I told them that I felt I was being singled out because of my fmla and asked if any of the other people who go take breaks in their cars on grounds had been drug tested. No answer. I was just handed a copy of the drug policy and told if I didn't take it I would be suspended for 10 days without pay.

I feel so violated. The test guy was in the room the whole time and heard all of it! In fact, he said, "Prove them wrong and take the test! "

I still can't believe this happened. I know it probably sounds paranoid but something kept telling me not to take that test. I know I haven't done anything wrong!

Also, after I gathered my things and left the office, my boss called me and said that I was entitled to "due process" and that I could come back to work tomorrow (meaning today), or if I wanted I could take off a day or two and use personal days. I was polite and said thank you and hung up.

So, needless to say, I am a mess right now. I don't know how I will be able to go back to that place. But, as stressful as this is, I did not call my doctor or get or take any meds.

Thank you for listening and being here for me. I love you all,

Minn

[MikeInFrance]

They're just going to look and feel like idiots when the results come back to them, sending u home is a bit strange though considering u haven't done anything wrong at all. But hang in there cuz nothing about this entire process is meant to be easy. Dealing with stressful and emotional issues in a positive, constructive way is key to keeping yourself clean ...and also for keeping our sanity! Lol  you said it best minn ... Don't let anyone control your feelings ...don't let em get the best of you!

[selfinduced]

Oh Man, Alright, so as I understand it, as long as the only meds in your system are prescribed, you are ok right? This happened to my sister and she was cleared by showing her rx. I know this has to be embarrassing, but it soon will be yesterdays news and someone else will be on the "hot seat" so to speak. Hold your head high, keep working on your recovery and be positive. Your stronger than this episode. Sending you good energy and much peace. xx

[IwillDoThis]

so sorry you are dealing with this.  I'll be thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way - keep us posted as to what happens.

[NorthEast213]

Minn im so sorry you have to go through all this BS.  Take a little solace in knowing you are clean and they will have ALOT of apologizing to do.  Tell them your erratic behavior is all the undue stress they put you under about your PT appointments and you will think about a lawsuit for the emotional distress.  You'll get through this, your strong.  Just know we are all here for you!!

Sorry you have to go thru this...

[minn66]

Oh, friends, I really need some support right now. My boss and his boss and the HR director just called me in to a meeting. They said I have been exhibiting "erratic behavior" and accused me of being high on the job and demanded that I take a drug test on the spot, then I was sent home until the results come back. I am so humiliated and can't believe they would do this to me. Supposedly someone reported that I was going to my car and doing drugs. I don't take anything and I am just a mess right now. I can't believe this has happened to me. I don't trust them. That may seem paranoid but I don't. I know all of my urine screens at my PM clinic are always clean. I am beside myself. I just don't know what to do. Please, please, pray for me. I love you all and thank you so much for your support.

Love always,

Minn

[Shauna13]

Ditto :-)   xoxo,  s

[minn66]

I wish I could reach through the web and hug you all. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your support and encouraging words. You have no idea how much strength you have and are giving me.

[Shauna13]

Happy Tuesday, minn!
Brand new, sunshiney day....like you :-) Hang in there, we believe in you, and you are an inspiration! Make this a good day!   xoxo, s

[jlannspr]

How are you doing today? You're about to get to the uphill climb. I learned to now second guess myself. If you're starting to feel a little better, just go with it. The good days are coming.

[mynewlife123]

Hang in there - you can do this!  Its an everyday battle but I have faith that it will continue to get better as the days go by.  I'm here for you...

[minn66]

Yes, he knows about my medical issues. Weird, because he had a cyst in his neck toward the end of last year and had to, understandably, miss work for treatment and tests. One would think he would understand. I didn't want to, but my doctor suggested I apply for intermittent fmla so I could go to my pt and doctors appointments. I finally did it because he was grilling me, asking if I really needed to go so often! He even stated that my leaving early would be reflected on my performance evaluation.

[dominosarah]

I am glad you are feeling better.  You did really good by coming here and not calling your doctor.  I would make a plan of some sort with her.  I had to do that with my doctor here.  I told her under no circumstances can i be given any narcotics unless i am carrying in a limb AND one of my family members has to be with me, same with the pharmacy.  As for your boss, dont give him that much power over you.  He probably has more issues than all of us!  

[Danharris83]

Hi minn you can do it I myself am trying to get of the nasty pills  I was gonna go down the c/t route but have read so much about it on here and the fact I have tried and failed many times before as for your boss does he know the real reason as my work were funny about the time off I was having so this morning I spoke to my boss and explained  everything  he was very helpful and even gave me a weeks holiday to help

[minn66]

Thank you, Mike :) Today is a better day. I am so glad I posted here instead of calling the doctor. Dealing with the pain and then a jerk of a boss almost did me in, but I didn't cave! He was snippy at me this morning but I just smiled and said good morning and went on to my office. I don't want any preferential treatment, just to be treated with respect. I almost feel sorry for him because he is such a sourpuss and must be a very unhappy person. I have made up my mind that he won't get the best of me, and that I will kill him with kindness. Lol, easier said than done I know!

[MikeInFrance]

Stay strong minn!  You are doing awesome! I'll say a prayer for you too for sure!! ;) let us know how your feelin today...

[minn66]

Hi sweet zoe :) It is very early here and what a nice post to wake up to! I do feel the love and caring all the way across the pond and it means a lot to me. I had a bit of a restless night but I am not going to let the pain or my mean boss win. I have you and a whole army of people by my side. My NA group has been a blessing too.

I hope you all have a great day. I appreciate each of you so much! I will be thinking of you and posting as I can throughout the day.

Love and hugs,

Minn

[zoea]

Hello lovely. From across the pond x
U will be absolutely fine. I believe in u. Sorry i can't help with the pain. But i am sending all my strength and love.
Zoe x

[ImDONENoMore]

You are an inspiration, minn. :) (getting well isn't only about quitting the drugs.. it's also about changing the way we think and you are well on your way).  I'm excited for you as you move forward with your new life.

Keep going - you're doing great.