Rough Day

[minn66]

Hi everyone. I am having a rough day today. I don't have any meds but could get some if I asked my doctor. I am hurting really bad and my boss is giving me a hard time about leaving work to go to physical therapy. Please you all, pray for me. I have made it before but at the same time I feel so alone and weak.

Thank you all for being here and listening,

Love,
Minn

[NorthEast213]

Minn hang in there!!! Take 4 advil, deep breath, and DON'T punch your boss no matter how good it would feel =).  Tell him its important to go to PT and you must go.  I'll keep you in my prayers minn....  Stay strong, you don't need the meds....

[jlannspr]

Maybe if you offered an excuse slip from the PT place, he would lighten up. These things are triggers, hold your head up and take deep breaths.

[IwillDoThis]

I hear you - oh do I hear you.  I'm in so much pain the last week I just don't know what to do but what I won't do is take meds - I don't want to restart the clock on this crazy process.  

I'm thinking about you and wishing you strength to deal with the people in our lives who do not understand chronic pain and the strength to deal with your pain.

Hang tough and keep up the good work!

[corbear]

Hang in there!!!!!! Your boss is an a** is he giving you a hard time about PT. Obviously your doc knows you need it. Relax and breath deep. You can do this. Do you have no meds cuz you want to quit them? If so just keep thinking positive. Everyone here is on your side. Just get through a minute at a time. Take care!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay strong!!!!!

[minn66]

Thank you, you all are awesome! Thank you for giving me strength. You have no idea how much I appreciate you!

[minn66]

Hi corbear,

I chose to stop taking opiates because it was taking more and more meds to get relief. I got scared so I quit cold turkey in November, 2011. I do have chronic pain in my neck that is caused by compressed discs, bone spurs, and calcification of the nerves in my neck. It has been a tough road but you guys have helped way more than you can imagine. Thank you so much for your support!

[corbear]

Congrats on being opiate free since November. Thats awesome. Wish I could say the same. I tried cold turkey in december but caved after 4 days. I'm tapering down from the norcos. I was at 80mg a day or more down to 10mg now. I only have 3 pills left so after tomorrow I'm done. Hope withdrawls wont be as bad a cold turkey cuz i'm only taking 10mg a day now for 4 days.
I'm so sorry you have pain. Pain will make us do crazy things. Does your doc have you on any non narcotic pain meds.?
I agree the forum here has helped me so much. I will read and read posts and before you know it hours has passed.
Take care and I sincerely hope you feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scaredmommy2005]

I am so sorry your having a rough day. I will pray that you get some relief for your pain and that your boss lightens up on you. I can't imagine what you are going through Minn. I wish you well.

[texaslady68]

Minn,

Remember to ask for those Flector patches and get the coupon.  If it is any comfort, my boss is being a you know what today too and sent me into a 2 hour panic attack this morning and I had to shut myself in my office.   It was so bad that I almost passed out from taking deep breaths.  I have xanax but have not needed them lately and left them at home. It finally passed.

God Bless you, just keep thinking positive thoughts if possible.

[minn66]

Thank you all so much! You give me strength. I am on my way to PT so hopefully I will get a bit of relief. Oh, I can so identify with the jerk bosses. I have applied for intermittent fmla so hopefully my boss will leave me alone after it goes through. I think he is mad because I applied, but he keeps giving me a hard time when I have to leave early to go to my pt or doctors appointments. Thanks again, all. You are awesome :)

[selfinduced]

This is where you need to leave your people pleasing self at the door. It is all about you Sunshine. Don't let the rain derail you "so to speak". You have worked way too hard to get to where you are. Concentrate on what you HAVE to do, all others " aint nothin but a thang". You take care of your self first and try rest will fall into place.  Heads up girl! Your amazing!

[minn66]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was able to go to my pt appt and now I'm at home laying on my heating pad. Hubby is so sweet. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in the door. Sometimes I wonder why he is even still with me. I feel like I am not the same person I was. In some ways I'm not but I feel like a big downer, like I am not me any more. Does that make sense? I love you all and thank you for your support today. You have no idea how much it means to me. Hugs to you all :)

[lulu747]

Minn...
Hey girl, I'm sorry you are having a rough day...But you made it without meds!  Remember not to be so hard on yourself...You DESERVE to be loved and supported by your husband.  Give yourself extra love tonight and give yourself a break from the negative self-talk, okay?  

Sending love and wishes for a peaceful night and a brighter tomorrow...
xox
Lu

[minn66]

Corbear, you are doing great on your taper. Keep it up. In spite of all the jerks (like my boss, lol, and I have been there 24 years and can work circles around him) we can make it. No meds for me tonight. Just a heating pad and soup. We will do this! Thank you again for your help and support. You are all amazing and I wish for blessings and peace for you all :)

[vicki595]

Minn-  I'm sorry for your troubles today.  I have to mention, though, that you shouldn't be able to call your doctor to get pills. That door should have been closed. It's what we have to do to keep us in check.

I hope some Advil and a heating pad does the trick for you!

[IwillDoThis]

I know exactly what you mean - I've got a super supportive guy who is so understanding through all this and when I was having a pitty party the other night I told him to "run away" he deserves better than a 42 yr old who feels like she is 92 - I also don't feel like the person I was (and I'm not but I hope to be her again - a better her).  So just wanted you to know that I understand where you are coming from.  Take it day by day and hang in there - count your lucky stars that you have an understanding partner as so many people do this alone with no support!!!

[Bkitty]

Sending lots of (((hugs))) and love Minn,,,Im sorry you are having a bad day. Try and do something for yourself today! ~Bkitty

[minn66]

Texas, I am definitely going to ask about those patches. Thank you. And lulu, I guess I try so hard to be strong and sometimes I get overwhelmed because although I want to be, at times I can't be Superwoman. I need to let go and let myself be taken care of every now and then. Lol, I guess tonight is one of those "thens. " I need to quit being so stubborn and realize I need to baby myself and be babied. I guess I should know by now hubby loves me but sometimes I feel so insecure. Like one day he'll wake up and wonder what the heck he is doing staying with that old woman. I know I am good to him, too. We take care of each other. I just get scared that my health issues will scare him off. I guess at times we are our own worst enemy!

[minn66]

Vicki, yes, I need to close that door completely. I did tell her back in December that I wanted to be opiate -free and she supported my decision. Yet, she did say that I needed to let her know if I changed my mind. I honestly had not considered caving until today. I realize my boss is a trigger. Even with my appointments and PT I still put in as many if not more hours than the rest of the analyst team. I am not one of those people looking for an excuse, but since I am the only woman on the team he seems to be singling me out. As my mama used to say I try to consider the source but he got to me today. Yet, I am proud because with all of your support and lots of prayer, he didn't win.

[IwillDoThis]

Good for you!  Keep it up!

[minn66]

I swear, I don't know what's wrong with me but I am in tears right now. You all are amazing and I am blessed to have found you.

[ImDONENoMore]

Minn - don't forget that when you had the craving, you came HERE.  You did NOT pick up the phone and call for meds.  That means a lot if you asked me.

And I couldn't agree more with the above poster about checking the "people pleaser" in you at the door.  Well said.  Sometimes it has to be about YOU.  We're no good to anyone else if we don't know how to be good to ourselves.  :)

[minn66]

No meds for me tonight. Hubby made me some semi-homemade chicken soup and I am back in bed on the heating pad. To any new folks out there, you can overcome. There are so many wonderful people who care and will help you make it.

Thank you so much,

Love and blessings,

Minn :)

[ImDONENoMore]

You are an inspiration, minn. :) (getting well isn't only about quitting the drugs.. it's also about changing the way we think and you are well on your way).  I'm excited for you as you move forward with your new life.

Keep going - you're doing great.