need some advice on withdrawal from valium

[needsomeadvice125]

my boyfriend has a valium addiction and is slowly tapering with the help of proffessionals, hes not sleeping is up most of the night, is there anything i can do to help him, ive never had to deal with anything like this before and know nothing about the drug, i dont know how hes going to react from one day to the next, ive tried getting him to talk to me but i just hit a brick wall, what can i do to help him

[sudie58]

bless, ok ,perhaps he could get some counselling or something, you can never have too much help, hes lucky to have you , he will find the strength to try again, i really wish you both well , sudie

[needsomeadvice125]

i text him earlier just to say i know he can do it and i have every faith in him , he knows i only want to help him, and i know he will get there its just a matter of when, i think hes frightened of letting them go even tho he really wants too, theyve become his crutch when he cant cope with something or hes stressed out, he doesnt kno how to deal with his emotions and feelings on a pill free level,  hes such a wonderful man and i want everyone else to see that too including him, hes promised me hes gonna try again, i didnt and dont expect this to be plain sailing, hes over later so im just gonna give him a hug and tell him i love him :-)

[sudie58]

of course i dont mind, i really feel for you, its so hard to see whats happening to a loved one ,and what there going through.  thing is , it has to come from him to make that journey to be pill free.  it is a shame as he was well on his way, but he can start again, i relapsed a few times myself, and loads of people do ,but are clean today . yes i agree with you, he needs to tell his key worker, but i dont think nagging him will help too much. maybe if you just encourage him to not feel a failure and that its definately worth never giving up on giving up!   also it would be good to get some support for yourself, such as alanon or something, as i know how its getting you down too, im sure he will give it another go, i wish you both love and prayers, take care ,post all you want, bless you  sudie

[needsomeadvice125]

well todays a bad day for him and me, hes really not coping then tells me hes back up to 30 ml then yesterday he did an extra 30!! he told me today he doesnt want to come off them although im pretty sure he doesnt mean it, im trying to not let him see its bothering me but he knows i feel let down and im sure he feels hes let himself down too, its really affecting both of us, ive told him to speak to his key worker when he next sees him, i dont want to be constantly on his back and him to think im nagging, i know he wants to be free of them but theyve got such a hold on him its heart breaking to watch, hes up and down all the time i hate seeing him like this, hope u dont mind me sounding off to you, its just i have no one else to turn too i really want him to do this for himself i know he can do it and i wont give up on him

[sudie58]

oh bless you, yes i expect and hope you will have your hands full, in a good way, sometimes the addict going through it all , gets (and rightly so), all the help and understanding, but its friends , family and loved ones who also suffer , and need help.im glad he met you, and really hope he knows what hes got !  i know its hard for you too, the addict is always a selfish person, and you can see hes really not that, hes so lucky to have you on his side, your not alone , keep helping to do things that will help him over this. i promise it will get better, and if he has a bad day , please know its not personal !
it can be, as i said a bit up and down , but i hope niether of you lose heart, your doing so well, god bless you both,   sudie

[needsomeadvice125]

thanks sudie

was beginning to feel so alone as no one really knows whats going on so cant talk to anyone about it, hes looking forward to finally being free of them and so am i, i can see a lively side to him when hes having a good day so gonna have my hands full lol, no one knows the real him because for the past 20 yrs its been masked by these little blue tablets, hes always seemed selfish to everyone, and hes never been able to hold down a proper relationship till he met me, he says its because i can see behind the mask, hes a wonderful person and i know hes gonna be even more wonderful once were over this

[sudie58]

i know you feel helpless right now and its hard to watch someone you love suffer like this, but when its over it will be so worth it, believe it or not, valium isnt the worse thing to withdraw from , its good youve got the doggy, to get him out!  i really think the worse is nearly over for him though, the drops hes dreading , wont make the withdrawals worse, not better, but not worse either , hes doing it gradually and that is the best way to stay off them , when he does hit 20 the 2mg will be so gradual so he will start to feel a bit better,
it will be good when he moves in with you, you both have so much to look forwards to,the slip didnt help things ,but thats done now, he will start to even out soon, keep looking forwards , good luck , sudie
          

[needsomeadvice125]

thanks sudie

he only started 3 weeks ago, got himself down to 30ml before anyone would help him properly, he started off on 70ml a day but over 6 months got himself down to 30 although he had a slip up 2 days ago and took 30 ml more than he should have hes now about to go down to 20 (which i know hes dreading) as there tapering him by 5 ml a week until he hits 20 ml then he goes down by 2 ml a week, hes moving in with me in a few weeks so i can keep a closer eye on him, trying to get him out and about is a nightmare he doesnt seem to want to do anything, ive persuaded him a few times to take the dog out which seems to help him, i cook him a hot meal when hes here but will be so much easier once he moves in properly, i love him dearly and hate seeing him in this state although im being as understanding as possible its very difficult watching a loved one go through something like this and i will do anything i can too see him through

[sudie58]

i wish your boyfriend well, it is hard for you to watch what hes going through, i withdrew from valium, and i know my hubby was at a loss as to how he could help, i expect it is hard for him to talk to you, i know i just went into myself and did find it difficult to converse, i felt it hard to be with anyone really. but trust me, he will be grateful for your caring,the sleelessness, is part of the withdrawal and it does take time to get a sleeping pattern back. the withdrawals also cause mood swings , if you could get him to go for walks, just short ones and some fresh air, sounds trite but really helps, also to take some nice warm baths. you dont say how far into the withdrawal he is, but it will and does get better, make sure he eats , and has some nice warm drinks, he will start talking when he feels a lot better, perhaps you could read up on valium and withdrawals, or go to alanon to help you,  i know this site will help you also, (and him), take care , best wishes , sudie