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Self-Medicating my Depression with Lortabs...HELP

So I am new to this forum, I have tried multiple times in the past to quit taking Lortabs and finally decided that maybe joining some type of support group would help me. Here's my story... I started taking pain killers innocently enough when I was about 16 and I got my wisdom teeth removed. I have always suffered with depression since I was a child so I immediately became hooked on the euphoric escape that painkillers gave me. I asked for a re-fill on that prescription, which I got, and ever since then I have been spending hundreds of dollars a month just to buy these things off the street. Now, I am on unemployment searching for a new job because the place I was working at a month ago closed down. I cannot afford to be buying these off the street like this, nor would I be able to pass a drug test for a job. I truly have wanted to stop taking these for years and have tried, but never lasted more than a few weeks off of them. Anyways, every time I try to quit, the pain is obviously horrible and nearly impossible to work on, but I can handle that compared to the depression that has always surfaced with my withdrawals. It's like I feel like I don't know how to live without taking these pills every day, like I can't enjoy anything unless I am on pills and I'm scared that I will feel that way forever. I have also been on antidepressants (Wellbutrin XL) for a couple years and it helps, but not when it comes to fighting my cravings. How can I strengthen myself mentally? What can I look forward to when I'm miserable withdrawing every day, and will that WD depression ever go away?! Sometimes I wonder if I should even try to quit because I feel more miserable when I'm not taking them. Just tapering down by ONE pill has made me feel like crap, I might as well just stop all together if I feel like hell anyways
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Duuuuuudddee.....I have used heroin and other opiates off and on for about twelve years....I'm 27.....things are so much more fun when you're clean....after the withdrawal, you're gonna notice everything get better, you still have days and moments when life ***** and your emotions go crazy....but the longer you're clean the more normal you'll be.....its just so easy to slip up you have to really want it.
I have been to prison a few times so I was forced to get clean in jail, I've had more fun locked up than I ever did getting high....
If you're serious its a no-brainer....get clean and stay that way.....I really hate narcotics anonymous but in my expert opinion its the best way to get and stay clean.....just do not get caught up in drama.
Just take time everyday to notice how beautiful life can be and what you're missing out...find a hobby, just don't keep throwing your days away....I'm really just sharing my personal thoughts with you, I'm not telling you all this, I'm telling myself.....but I know I'm right.
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Thanks for your response and everything, it really helps to put things in perspective when you hear other peoples' stories about how they eventually got clean. You're totally right though, its important to notice the beautiful things in life. I feel like I've been incapable of loving others to their full potential and giving them the consistency they would need in a girlfriend or sister or whatever. It's hard to really put your significant other FIRST when what's really first in your mind is the next time you're going to take another pill or worrying about running out and scraping together money to score. I'm just not the happy, creative, and passionate person I used to be and it is so sad
Avatar universal
HI part of the depression comes from, taking the pills your brain chemistry is all out of wack you can taper down but that takes will power and you stretchg out how long your going to feel sick if you just jump you better in about 4 or 5 days getting it over with quick
it up to you but you know all the reason why you have to do this
Avatar universal
We are still the happy creative passionate people we always were, we only smothered ourselves in the drug....or whatever vice we may have.....everyone has something they do to take them away from reality, some are just more destructive than others
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Just so you know I'm on the east coast and I'm ill right now....you're not the only one who knows how you feel...I understand.
Get and stay clean....pleeeeeeeeaassssseee don't give in...
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Thank you, I am really glad I decided to post here. I wish you the best of luck as well!
Avatar universal
Hi and welcome to the forum! I realize it is easy to give advice and so hard to follow it. The best way out is through. Lol, I tried going around, under, and over but there is just no getting out of going through the wd. The good news is, it really does get better. I won't sugar coat it, it absolutely stinks. I looked at it like I had a bad bug and had no choice but to stock up on stuff to relieve the symptoms and ride it out. First on the list, Immodium. Generic will work just fine. Lots of Gatorade or Powerade or Vitamin Water for replenishing what comes out. B vitamins, foods that are light on the tummy such as chicken soup with crackers, broth, fruits. Uncle Ben's rice is easy on the stomach too and easy to make.

As soon as you can, get up and take a walk around the block or do some light housework. Lots of hot showers and baths in Epsom salts. Cuddle in a comfy quilt and watch some movies or shows you've been meaning to watch.

You can do this. I stopped taking Lortab 10's, five a day, cold turkey back in November. One thing that helped me tremendously and still does is posting here. Oh, and some form of aftercare. It doesn't have to be NA, although that is what I chose. There are lots of different options out there. Google it and find something that works for you. Some groups even offer childcare if that is something you need.

Good luck and keep posting. We'll help you get through this any way we can.

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