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Step Four
Step Four
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
Taken from The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditons pg 42
I do this step a couple different ways. The first way I worked it I took a look at the resentments I was having and how they affected me and my behavior. I was living with my wife, who also happened to be one of my biggest triggers. I would often find myself disturbed and angry with something she had done. When I had triggers I would call my sponsor and we would work through whatever was going on. He was very good at getting me to look at myself instead of focusing on what she had done. In time and with practice I got better at this. I learned things about myself and the root causes of my anger, self pity, resentment depression etc.
The other way I do it is I look for the seven deadly sins: pride, anger, greed, gluttony, lust, envy and sloth. I look to see where these things cause me harm and ruin peace of mind. By working this step I really get a good clue as to how sick my thinking can be. It was this step that highlighted the mental twist of my disease.
I think the hardest part of this step was getting over the fear of what I would find as well as the fear of the following steps. However when I looked at this I could see that fear itself was a character defect and must be dealt with. One of the motivating factors for me though was the experience of others. Many people told me that until they proceeded with the fourth step they had a difficult time getting and staying clean and sober. Again willingness was the key to a beginning. I didn't do a thorough inventory all at once. I kind of took it a bit at a time. Once I worked it with a few defects I got some relief and insight. It was the relief and insight that encouraged me to keep at it. Today this is one of my favorite it steps. I really enjoy looking at myself and seeing all the insane stuff I still do. If you ever see me all by myself and laughing it probably means that I'm taking my inventory. I always found it kind of funny that the only way to be relieved of my self centeredness was to focus on myself. LOL!!! God Bless!!
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
Taken from The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditons pg 42
I do this step a couple different ways. The first way I worked it I took a look at the resentments I was having and how they affected me and my behavior. I was living with my wife, who also happened to be one of my biggest triggers. I would often find myself disturbed and angry with something she had done. When I had triggers I would call my sponsor and we would work through whatever was going on. He was very good at getting me to look at myself instead of focusing on what she had done. In time and with practice I got better at this. I learned things about myself and the root causes of my anger, self pity, resentment depression etc.
The other way I do it is I look for the seven deadly sins: pride, anger, greed, gluttony, lust, envy and sloth. I look to see where these things cause me harm and ruin peace of mind. By working this step I really get a good clue as to how sick my thinking can be. It was this step that highlighted the mental twist of my disease.
I think the hardest part of this step was getting over the fear of what I would find as well as the fear of the following steps. However when I looked at this I could see that fear itself was a character defect and must be dealt with. One of the motivating factors for me though was the experience of others. Many people told me that until they proceeded with the fourth step they had a difficult time getting and staying clean and sober. Again willingness was the key to a beginning. I didn't do a thorough inventory all at once. I kind of took it a bit at a time. Once I worked it with a few defects I got some relief and insight. It was the relief and insight that encouraged me to keep at it. Today this is one of my favorite it steps. I really enjoy looking at myself and seeing all the insane stuff I still do. If you ever see me all by myself and laughing it probably means that I'm taking my inventory. I always found it kind of funny that the only way to be relieved of my self centeredness was to focus on myself. LOL!!! God Bless!!
Best Answer
I also love reading these and thank you for posting them. I had almost 3 years opiate free and had done the first 3 steps....never did the fourth....pretty much used it as an excuse not to lead at a meeting. The thought of being the lead at a meeting scares the crap outta me! Anyway, never did the fourth or so on steps and I truly believe that is why I am back to 25 days opiate free instead of 3 years. Thank you...your post gave me the kick in the butt I needed to at least start thinking of taking the 4th step instead of pushing it aside, which is what I usually do!
Thanks Punkinhead, I love it when you post these. I like the personal twist you put on them. Very helpful to me. Keep doing it, God Bless. Andrew
The step I fear.. Everytime I get to this step I have to revert back to step One. Its frustrating. I know I need to get over it and just keep truckin forward. Thanks for the post girl. I like seeing these here, alot of addicts dont get that they need an aftercare program to help themselves continue in their recovery. So thank you for reminding me what I need to be focusing on. Kim
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