Stranger In My Home – Update on Addict Husband

[DeltaRedd1984]

My husband is out of treatment and is staying with his parents.  We have an agreed target date when he can move back into our home and it is October.   October will be his 1st year sobriety date.  Moving back into our home is contingent upon him buying a vehicle or some form of transportation; obtaining a driver’s licenses; and clearing up his financial and legal issues so that they do not become my financial burden.  In addition, my husband must continue to work with his sponsor, attend AA meeting, made amends and continue to remain clear and sober.  

My husband sleeps over on the weekends and since my daughter is out of town visiting her boyfriend for two weeks I invited him over.   I thought it would be a good idea for him to stay at the house.  I now realize that this might be pushing things too fast.  My husband feels like a stranger to me.  I never knew the man sober so this is a new experience.  I feel like a virgin and can become extremely shy around the man I have been married to for almost 13 years.

It feels like starting a new relationship with someone you’ve just started dating.  We have awkward moments from time to time and will slip back into old comfortable behaviors, he will watch TV in the living room and I will either watch TV in our bedroom or read a book.  At times, we are very much in tune with each other but there are those times where I feel disconnected and not sure how to proceed.  

We sleep in the same bed but have not had sex, we have discussed this issue and we agree that we are both a bit uncomfortable with each other right now and do not wish to rush things.   I enjoy my husband’s company and I pray that we can work these kinks out and rebuild a better and stronger foundation for our marriage.  

Thank you for allowing me to share my most intimate feelings.

~~Delta

[cathy5841]

Hey girl,  was thinking about you the other day...good to see you post...Dominosarah gave you good advice, you HAVE grown sooo much this year and you really are strangers...give it time...I am so proud of you for staying strong and working through all this!!!

[dominosarah]

You 2 are strangers to each other.  Both of you have had alot of growth over the last year.  Take the time to get to know each other again.  The trust will take time also.  Make sure to keep communicating your feelings to each other.  Sometimes you can be more intimate without having actual sex.  Keep us posted on how things are going Delta~~~~~sara

[narla]

As the trust builds you'll find things should start to fall into place,just be patient and be there for each other.
Good Luck

Denise