Lost it all

[sillygirlyouneverlearn]

I am trying to quit meth again ...but i feel like I can't handle life without it ..my husband left 2 months ago  because of it n he is divorcing me after 10 years he also wants custody ....I just started a new job and I'm not able to have time off to go through the come down of getting off meth I quit last week and cudnt move for 6 days and the reality and consequence    of my mistakes is depressing me to the point of no return ...so i get more meth ...how do I get sober and function through the divorce how do I stay strong

[meegWpaw]

silly girl you are not silly.  I am not sure about how you should quit, but I did want to tell you that getting clean off meth was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.  I have used a lot of drugs, but meth really kicked my azz.  coming down from it would put me in bed and I couldn't get up.  the depression was terrifying.  being free of that alone really lifted my spirits.  I am sorry about what you are going through.  but you can be free and it is a great feeling!!!

[motye51]

I agree with whats been said above, but i would also recommend at least a 3 month inpatient facility. Sometimes we get ourselves to a point where we just need to remove ourselves from society and get ourselves better. It takes approximatly 90 days for all of the dope to get out of our system and for our brain to "reboot", per say.
Right now, maybe it would be best to talk to your husband about letting him take custody for now, b/c u need to work on yourself. You wouldnt be any good to anyone anyway. Maybe if u talk to him upfront, ya"ll can revisit custody once you get out. You need to concentrate on getting yourself better and once u do that, u can be better for everyone else. You sound like your stuck in the cycle, which alot of us do, to break it, you must do something drastic!

[Jinx_777]

and you have NOT lost it all YET.  you still have a custody fight ahead of you.  you have time to 'get right'.  if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life

[Jinx_777]

i think your main issue is DEPRESSION.  you are just using meth to push you through the incredible fatigue that TRUE CLINICAL DEPRESSION causes.
i have done it myself so i know exactly where you are.
time to get off the merry go round of false energy, masking your true feelings and get professional help.
it takes 6 weeks for most anti depressants to start working and you need intense therapy as well.  just stop the meth and understand you will not have energy until the depression clears. true clinical depression is NOT mind over matter, it is a chemical imbalance

[PurrfectlyKrazy]

Oh wow...I've been so sick with that stomach flu this week I just figured out I'm 15 days sober.  YAY!  One day at a time...and each day gets a little easier :-)

[PurrfectlyKrazy]

I agree with hormone junkie on this one?  Not a huge advocate of inpatient treatment since I saw my Dad go through it too many times...however, the judge and the courts will look a lot more favorably upon you for going that route...especially if you are serious about getting clean.  This means also setting up aftercare and sticking to it.

I know you just started a new job but....how long do you think you'll be able to keep it if you are continually on Meth?  Eventually someone will figure out something.  I'm not advocating standing up and saying hey everyone I'm an addict....but check out your Human Resources policy on this kind of thing.  

You know that old saying "You Play You Pay"?  Unfortunately it is true...for all of us.  

In order for you to prove you can care for your children you first have to prove you can take care of yourself.  You will never get a chance at your children without getting clean.  You need to decide what you really want and stick to it.

We will all be here for you if you decide you want to get clean and stay clean.  I really hope you decide to go that route.  Someone more knowledgeable about Meth than I am should be on the boards here this morning and I think they'll be able to advise you on what to expect if you CT off your drug of choice.  I know with the oxy's I could tell people I had the flu because so many of the symptoms were the same (then I really did get the stomach flu after over a week clean lol) .... talk about karma!

P.S.  14 days clean here after 10 years of being addicted to painkillers.  It wasn't easy but because of all the MH support I got I made it.  Now I'm getting ready to go to my first NA meeting, I've advised my doctor to what I've done (so he doesn't prescribe more UNLESS I'm having a surgery and I threw away what drugs I had left.  It was THE hardest thing I ever did but I will be honest.  I did it for two reasons:  my husband who is very sick and deserves a clean caretaker...because I can't take care of him to the best of my abilities if my abilities are impaired and second...I did it for me!

[hormonejunkie]

Is it possible to do inpatient somewhere? If your husband can already prove your drug use, rehab might be something they suggest or insist upon when deciding custody anyway. :( If you are able to do it, that period of rest and self-care could be the best thing for you.

Honestly, I don't recommend rehab usually. I've even read about how it is often ineffective. But as a stressed-out mom myself, I think you could experience the most benefit and real healing in a place that is focused on YOU and reminding you that you are important and worthy.

I can't imagine being that depressed and just trying to white-knuckle it alone. Not saying it's impossible but I think inpatient would be worth the cost for you. Is that possible at all?