Suboxone

[refusingbondage]

Im new on here.  Was stuck in doctor shopping hell for years taking vico, percocets, whatever.  Couldnt do it anymore.  Was getting ready to find a detox center and just "get it over with" when I came upon information about suboxone.  seemed perfect for me.  i am a professional.  work full time.  have a child and husband.  Great!  Miracle drug!!  
Um no.  Yes at the time it was a miracle.  And I am still unsure about my feelings about whether it was worth it or not.  Spent a little over a year on the subs with a wonderfully understanding doctor.  tapered down from 16mgs a day to 1 mg a day and feeling fine.  (had some minor withdrawals tapering down at various points, but nothing too bad).  Discussed stopping all together with doc and was advised that from 1 mg he would not expect any withdrawals at all and if there were any, theyd be minor.
Um no.  I am on day 8 with no subs.  DAY F****** EIGHT!!! and STILL not right.  Days 3, 4 and 5 were the worst with the unexpected torture of inability to sleep (and I take 8 mg of Rozarem with 4 mg of Lunesta each night for insomnia and even with my sleep meds and 2 tylenol PMs, I still spent 3 days/nights awake in horror).  Am able to sleep now.  the restless leg syndrome has gone away now.  i am left with hot/cold chills BS and an extremely crushing fatigue coupled with an extreme case of anxiety and nervousness,  Ive NEVER had anxiety like this.  Its deep rooted and stuck like a hot stone in the pit of my stomach.  Been taking a shot of Tequila here and there (no more than 2 shots in one day and not more than 2 days in a row - dont want to develop yet another "problem".  This is actually worse (becuase of the length of the withdrawal) than cold turkey.  One time a few years back I was taking oxy (only about 60 mgs a day, which by some standards is low I guess) and locked myself in a room and suffered miserable for 4 days but by the 5 or 6th day I felt FINE all DONE.  Again.,, I am on day EIGHT!!!
HOWEVER I will get through this.  there is no turning back.  My faith and my desire to not be bound to any substances anymore will get me through this.  My hubby has been helpful.  He has no problems with any addictions so he doesnt really get it but he tries to empathize,.
I pray for everyone on here to get through it   I agree with the person who said this is the right of passage to get clean  I agree.  I feel this is what i deserve for getting into it in the first place,  Mentally ive been ready for a long long time and am dealing with the physical now.  YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT PEOPLE.   IT WILL NOT KILL YOU AND YOU CAN GET YOUR LIFE BACK.  GOOD LUCK AN D GOD-SPEED!

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum. There seems to be so much talk about suboxone on here lately with different opinions. myself i don't know much about it, but i wanted to say congrats on being  off it for 8 days now. sorry you feel like ****, but it will get better. you will get some great feedback on here. your right it will not kill u and can get your life back, it's just tough at first. best of luck in your recovery and feel better soon.

[refusingbondage]

Thanks for your comment and well wishes.  Yes, suboxone is being toted in the medical community as this miracle drug and advertised and sold to me that way.. Dont know anything other than it ***** and I guess we have to pay our dues no matter what.  Thanks again.  Ive been reading this forum for hours and its nice to communicate.

[ochooked]

I love your name -- refusingbondage -- wish I had thought of it first :).  I have read both your posts and could not agree more ---  - I too am being tortured by Sub and have been off it for 16 days now.  Just wish I know when to expect the waves of W/D's to leave for good -- along with extreme lethargy and fatigue.   Refusing bondage is definitely a good call -- and expresses it right on the money.   All the best and I hope you will do further 'pentence' by posting your experiences on here -  you could be a real help and encouragement to many others as they need your story to help them.  Yea, Sub was touted as a miracle drug and at first I fell in love with it ---- It was only after I thought I was at a low enough dose (.5 mg) that I jumped.  I have heard what we are going through as "The Suboxone Spanking" and is a reminder and price we pay for our wayward drug use.   All the best.

[refusingbondage]

thanks for your comment.  still here.  still ticking.  I actually had an irrational thought last night that if i wasnt better by sunday night id go back on the sub until i could devote at least 3 weeks to this but thats not practical,  ill never be happy to give up 3 weeks of my life to this sh**.  am going back to work on monday no matter what and will suffer through  im good at putting on a mask.  i know this will go away,  keep me posted on how your doing and thank you for responding!