Passing cravings and tests clean

[gizzy32]

Getting clean is so difficult at first. Not only is it scary, but many of us have a lot of guilt, anger and fear when we quit. The first month i was clean i still wasn`t sure i could do it. Cravings were so strong, with depression and i knew i could not fight like that for the rest of my life. As time went on, i started passing big tests. i flushed coke that i found at 2 months clean, i fought through cravings, distanced myself from certain people and began to heal. These past 2 weeks have been difficult for me, but getting through the craving yesterday and waking up this morning feeling like a rock star, lol. I guess my point is and what im asking is, can you guys notice how you feel after making it through a test or rough time clean. I actually feel stronger today and full of confidence that i will win this battle again. We are all faced with tests to stay clean, it`s not always pretty, but winning these little battles makes us stronger. Dosen`t it feel great beating something that once had complete control over our lives and then not giving in.  I guess im also curious to hear some of  tests you guys have had, (flushing pills, beating monster cravings etc.)

[dominosarah]

I have had a rough few days myself.  Been a real battle over morals and values with me.  A few times i have just thought screw it but i got my butt up and got busy and turned on my music.  Its very draining to say the least.  What is important is each night when i go to my tracker and hit that big fat zero.  Each day i get up is a brand new day clean.  When i finally get to the top of the mountain im still going to dance like noone is watching!!!!

Good post Gizzy!!!!                        sara

[bagman33]

you are all very strong people. I am looking form the outside in and let me tell you. YOU ARE ALL WINNERS!! I hope my brother canfind this strength inside himself. I am trying eveything to pull it out of him. I remind him of the good times. when he was sober. He remembers.. it breaks his heart...

[fengirl09]

So funny that you asked THIS question today. Just yesterday I had to face my ex-boyfriend's mom, who lived w/me during my use of fentanyl, and ask for her forgivness. I say I had to do this and by that I mean I had to do it for myself. Needless to say, my actions while high out of my mind on fentanyl were not pretty and I am still in therapy and will be for a long time to get over the shame and guilt of what I put my daughter and family through. Everytime I face a craving, a person I need to make amends with or complete another group meeting or therapy session I feel stronger and more in control of my addiction. I know I will be an addict for the rest of my life, but I can control my addiction instead of my addiction controlling me. And that is what is the most important thing to remember, for me anyway.

[gizzy32]

That`s how i feel, like i climbed MT. Everest, haha. I didn`t mean getting tested for drugs , i meant tests like being tested. example a couple times i was out and i walked in on people doing coke, i had to leave, i was being tested. Does that make sense. it`s still early though, lol. another test could be when i read people on here tell their doctor`s no more pills, that is a test. Glad your doing well lady67

[lady67]

That is a great post.  

When I make it through a tough situation without using anything, I feel like I just climbed Mt. Everest.  I have never had to take a drug test so can't really comment there.  Can you believe it, I was using for 15 years and NEVER was given a drug test?  Sometimes I wished I would have and maybe I would have decided to get clean sooner.