I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM HERE AGAIN!! PLEASE HELP!!

[chaddavis333]

Please help don't judge. I am here again. I know I am a dumb, but I can't help it. I have using vicodin and tramadol on and off for the past few months about 4. Recently I went about a week of taking tramadol 6 most days until taking 10 the last time. I have some vicodin 7.5 and just started taking it. I haven't had the trams for a for one full day, but did take the vicodin.6  today. My question is, I am start to shake and have panic attacks. Is this a withdrawal from the trams? can I still have withdrawal even though I am taking the vicodin??? Please help I am all alone and very scared. I need to know what to do.

[ash1986mom]

This is just yhe start of it i started out on trams then vicondn and trams, then trams,vicon,and norco. Now im on noroc,methadone, norflex, gabapentin.. and if i can get my hands on anything else like valium, soma perkz i would take thoes too its very sad.i also take diet pills for my weight loss pretty sure itz not ok to take all that **** together. I am an addict

[EvolverU]

Hi there & welcome back!

I also agree w/ Vicki about 'the addict' profile. As far as I can tell (w/ 30 years of use behind me) the only things that addicts have in common is 'inner' not 'outer'. In fact, I've found very few 'street' addicts on this forum.;) I think this idea about what an addict 'is' or how they 'present' might possibly be holding you back in your work towards recovery. Truly understanding what addiction entails & soul-searching for primary motivations/triggers is key to making a detox stick. Have you 'come out' to anyone around you? Some non-judgmental, sober family member or friend? This really helps!

I'm sorry you're feeling scared & alone right now! Please know that you're NOT alone here. We have people who have been cross-addicted to Trams & opiates. Many people have come here terrified & worked through it to emerge into the light as changed individuals. I too, would hazard that your w/d's from Trams are causing the anxiety-type/benzo symptoms you're experiencing.

Would it be possible to contact a sympathetic addiction specialist in your area to create a plan to detox you? Can you tell us a little more about your history re: # of habits, DOC's & the amt. of time you used? Do you have a pre-existing anxiety issue? It would be so helpful if you could fill us in.

Please, hang in there & keep posting for support.

We're here & we're pulling for you. You CAN do this!!:)

[nursegirl6572]

Hello there, glad to see that you've reached out for help.

I agree with vicki completely, it sounds like you have a preconceived notion of who an addict is, well, you can just throw that out the window.  "Junkies" come in all shapes and sizes and professions and from all walks of life.  Judges, doctors, teachers, moms, dads, you name it.  An addict or junkie isn't that stereotyped homeless person seeking their next fix.  Addiction doesn't discriminate.

I agree that seeking aftercare is important so you don't continue to keep repeating this same cycle of getting clean and then relapsing.  Best of luck to you!!

[chaddavis333]

Good point. I meant that I am not a junkie. Maybe a blue collar junkie

[vicki595]

You don't need to get more Tramadol. What you DO need is a plan for recovery Chad; without one this will keep happening. Also, "I don't fit the addict profile."  What do you think that profile is?  Maybe that's what's getting in your way...

Stay in touch-

[odaat1]

Doesn't matter how many times you have tried....you only fail when you stop trying!  We only have 24 hours to deal with at a time...those days add up.  If it weren't for checking in with the honest folks on this forum, I would not have been able to get as many days as I have, by doing it alone.  This is a WE solution!!

[chaddavis333]

should I get more trams and try and taper??? or just be done??

[chaddavis333]

thank you. this is like my 10th time of doing this, so I should know better.

[chaddavis333]

Hi Vicki, thank you so much for responding to me. I was on and off the trams for about 2 months. Just this last time about a week straight. I did abuse though. I only have two vic's left, so after that nothing. I have been buying them, but I have no access to them now, nor do I want any more. They just gave me so much energy. Worse yet, I have gong through wds on trams before and vics several times. You would think I should remember, but I don't. I need to go get help, but my pride always got the best of me. I mean I don't fit the addict profile, but then again, maybe I do. I am just sooo tired of this..... I want to be done.

[odaat1]

Hi..
I'm not familiar with Tramadol or Vicodin, but I AM familiar with opiate addiction.  No matter what the label says.  I can identify with your feelings of relapsing.  Stop beating yourself up NOW, and let your brain start to heal...  the withdrawals won't kill you, but the drugs will.  
Hot baths helped my twitchy legs and arms, listening to music with headphones was good, watching movies (comedies),,,,these all helped put the time in, and that's what I was focuing on for the first week or so.  I just had 24 hours.  Any person can fight the battle of just one day....stay out of yesterday and tomorrow and you will be ok!  Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.....

[vicki595]

Hi Chad- it's probably the Tramadol but it's hard to say for sure. It's only been one day without it...How long were you taking it?    Yes, I think the Vicodin should cover Tramadol wd's but then there's the antidepressant component in Tramadol and that causes some unusual symptoms...
It's important to take some deep breaths and try to relax during the process. When are you going to stop the Vicodin?

[chaddavis333]

thank you brother. I am a Christian too, so thanks for saying that. Do you think I should take a few more when I get some or just stop now. This is the first full day without any.

[jugglin]

You can do this Chad....you need to come off the Trams slowly if u can. Shaking and flu like symptoms are normal coming off of the opiates in my experience. You can get thru this.  The hot Epsom baths were a lifesaver for me as they help with the rls as well as the anxiety.  As hot as u can stand it. Keep hydrated. Add vitamins and supplements. Sending u prayers of strength!

[chaddavis333]

yes. I have been a member here for a long time. thanks for the answer.

[jugglin]

Trams are hard to come off of...u need a taper. Vicodin is my drug of choice. U came to the right place,  We are here to support u. Nobody here will judge u. Have u looked into the Thomas Recipe at the bottom of the page?  Lots of things there that will help you if you are ready to quit. You deserve a sober life....a life free of drugs. You can quit if u r ready. Keep posting and reaching out.