"Forced" into Methadone... calling all methadone patients!! I need help NOW!

[DarkEyedCreature]

So, I am in a place in life where going to a detox center or going cold turkey is not an option. I have to care for four small children under the age of four. I've always known I could CT if I had the chance, if someone could help me with the kids, and I could lock myself in a room for a few days. However, after years of trying, I have never gotten that chance. My husband's vacation time was eaten up by my surgeries.

So, I came to the end of my rope in many ways. I messed up a lot of things, and I also lost my insurance. After just 1 day of feeling totally guilty for being in WD around the children made me have to do something. I seriously could not care for them. Now,  I have insurance and have been looking for a suboxone doctor, but I am having trouble finding one.

I feel like I can't tolerate Methadone and I don't want to go down this road at all. I am sweating buckets all day, I feel like I can't breathe, and everytime I get off the floor from either changing the kids or playing with them I feel as if I am going to pass out ( and I see stars). I feel as if this medication is affecting my heart. I started smoking again. It was a craving I couldn't control, though it hasn't bothered me for years of opiate abuse/withdrawal. I also feel twitching in my lips all day long.

Someone help me. What can I do? Who can I call? I feel like I can't tolerate this med. at all, and I want out before it's too late. I know you can't give medical advice, but what do you think would happen to a girl who CT'ed off methadone -- someone who started @ 30mg and is now up to 40 -- all along feeling like it was not tolerated.

IF I am stuck in meth treatment another month or so... does your body get used to this? Did other meth users experience weird things at first? What was/is your experience with Methadone like in general? I am almost thinking about asking for a fast taper now...

I am so afraid this drug could take my life. I know I may sound overly dramatic, but I have a very scary feeling going through my body.

Before MEth, I could easily take a bottle of 60 5mg oxy's a day -- 15 at a time. Of course, I didn't always have that. There were days I could only take 5-7... days I could have killed myself from too much tylenol.

I don't feel like I am nodding... I did experience that at first... I get pounding headaches and literally feel like I am going to pass out and die! This drug is crazy for me.

[leonard77]

you still here did you make it?

[luvdolphins58]

This post is over 3ys old. Go to post a question  than I'm  sure you will get alot of help

[maramar100]

All i know is my daughter is forced to travel to chemist daily to take methadone. has been on a tiny amount now for 3 years and yet hasn't taken drugs in a long time. She has begged to not have to take it. She no longer needs it and yet even though i thought this was a free country she is told by drug centre that as she has mental health problems if she doesn't take it they will consider her 'chaotic' and she could be put in a psych ward. This is ridiculous and bullying and is forcing someone to take methadone. This has gone on for years. Not ordered by any court. She initially sought the help. Once you do that though and get in the system of social services for adults, cpn and drug centre. You cannot get out and they rule your life. She is a free person and should be able to say no to methadone without fear of retaliation. Anyone any advice?

[WantMyLifeBack2010]

First off PLEASE accept my apologies!!! I am So VERY sorry if I made my post to you sound like you were "Bashing" methadone & the ppl using it for treatment ....or that you hadn't educated yourself on the drug ...I did not mean to come off that way and I am sincerely sorry.........
Also I will not nor will I ever TELL anyone That they need to go to a Methadone treatment center...I try my best to just inform and  tell MY story about My life during this process...what I was like BEFORE I began treatment, That is all.

I do and will reply to posts if "I Feel" like the person posting about Methadone considers it to be a death sentence? I'm NOT implying thats what you did ...I have a best friend of 30+ years that has been addicted to EVERYTHING but he said Methadone was a Prescribed drug and like the majority of us, if our doctors prescribe it, well...we think that they are/ were "helping Us"...he was on Methadone pills 300 a month and Roxycodones I believe over 350 a month in quantity. He told me NOW thinking back that he knows that  he could have died .... but the good ole Pain management doctor  would continue telling him "THIS is your only hope to be out of the pain your in". He Stopped cold turkey, JUST STOPPED taking all the pills..... he was homeless, lost EVERYTHING, including his fiance of 4 years ....but HE has been clean for 1 year & 8 months the longest ever in his LIFE....When he told me of the PAIN he endured, HOW sick he was...that is WHY I had it Stuck in my head I too, would be THAT SICK if I tapered off methadone.....Once he told me his sickness was all due to his COLD TURKEY way of gettin off drugs...Not tapering slowly....like Im doing....
Again I feel as though If addicts go into these Clinics with the intention of using Methadone for anything OTHER than treatment, then they really never wanted to be clean..they just want to Dose then go get drunk or  smoke pot, even continue to shoot up heroin whatever they take they will continue and DO, I hear them talk about it like its a big old joke.....but its not a joke-- not for me....it's the real deal...
I personally walked into the clinic with a DETERMINATION to become a sober living functioning mom, wife & friend... to function without being Sick then "taper off slowly"....continue going to meetings, church prayer groups, and stay AWAY from any and all friends EVEN family members that use..
I personally have a hard time "hating" this drug like my best friend does....and others that used it..became dependent on it for 2, 5 or 10 years some where I go have been going for over 20 years???
I know once I began using this for treatment I was going to be dependent on it as well....
I also allowed fear to stop me from tapering off of it sooner than I  wanted....MY FEAR.
Well now I know the TRUTH and I will not be "THAT SICK" we as addicts Get. Like I have been so many times  when I tried to cold turkey off Pain meds....
I was taking upwards a day ----25+ Percs  daily ,.Add that with  5+ of the Roxy 30 mg's, throw in  snorting 80 mg's of Oxy's 3 X's a day to .... then BAM just like that Im out....becuz I took them all way before my refill due date....
THAT is what I believed I would experience If I started to taper off methadone.....If I taper SLOWLY with the amount of dosage each taper....Im still going to have DISCOMFORT but not to the level I had allowed myself to think would happen.

And yes they at the clinic tried to tell me if would take me 3 years of MMT to complete the program.....I knew better than that from my reading & research on the drug....
I have 297 days ..as of today......Still tapering down 17 mg's  as of today.

So once again PLEASE forgive me if I sounded like I was making  Methadone out to be the CURE ALL for Addiction  ...I know I wrote that in my post....  I do know Its not for everyone....but I DO believe that it has helped me...Do I regret spending the money??? Not at all...I spent much much more on my pain killers, the Doctors and my Dealer.

Like everyone on here we all have our stories of what we did what we used how much we used and for how long....what worked and what didn't work...

All I can say is YOU know yourself, your body and when certain meds aren't working or if they make your feel WORSE when you're just trying to be able to function on a daily basis..... I know if I felt like that when I began treament I  would be just like what you posted you're feeling ...scared...
I just want you and all of us to do what we feel we need to do in order to become the ppl we used to be ...for me I want to be EVEN better than the Kim I was before my addiction took controll......isn't that what we all want??  

[GA_need_help]

Bama, I just wanted to send you my love too.  Love ya Girl
Marie

[bama88]

methadone is not for everyone...no medicine is..im allergic to aleve..have you talked to your methadone doctor? me im scared of methadone...very scared. i actually went to the mmt center to stop my oxycontin abuse....but when they explained to me how long i was going to have to take it and how it works.....i ran out the door. how long have you been on the mmt treatment?  i hope you can find success with subs....hugs bama

[GA_need_help]

You are right in your reply.  And you don't have to defend how you are feeling on the methadone.  It definitely does work with everyone's bodies! No med does!!!  I am so happy you have this appointment to get help.  I am sending you prayers and love.  I too believe in God, in Jesus Christ, and I feel totally renewed in the Holy Spirit, knowing He is about to do a supernatural work in anyone who chooses to believe.

Love, Marie

[DarkEyedCreature]

Thank you everyone, and IWantMyLifeBack2010, I will reply to your messages when I have more time to write :) I have read them, and I thank you for reaching out.

Let me clarify -- I am not bashing Methadone. I, too, have spent at least 30-40 hours total reading studies, personal stories, info from the drug in general, and all kinds of things. I noticed a trend -- the info you get usually depends on if the person writing is is for or against MMT. However, my best sources have been unbaised studies and personal stories. I know Meth has saved a lot of lives. I am glad those people are living, including you.

I am just saying, I am scared of the drug, and 95% of what I read from individuals was not good. People say the regret spending the money for years, the side effects, ect -- only to have to overcome a withdrawal process worse than their drug of choice would have been. It boils down to it helps some people, and others it doesn't.

I think personally, I would be very okay taking this drug until I could find a sub Dr. if it wasn't for all the crazy side effects I am getting eben from dosages that keep me in withdrawal. As I sit here, my lip and eyelid are seriously twitching now. I used to have seizures until I hit puberty, and it feels like I could have one.

I have gone CT many times, only to relapse. This is the first time I can honestly say that every fiber of my being is ready to be clean. I understand this is a lifeling process -- I am no newbie to narcotic addition. As far as reading goes, the best thing that helped me get a grip on my cravings was finding a writing online about "Rational Recovery." It left such a mark on me that I bought the book.

I know myself, my body, brain, and soul... if I ca get the phsycal partstable ( whch meth is not doing for me), I can easily kill that mental monster, though I know it will creep back up, that is something I have excepted and chose to overcome with each craving.

Sorry for the book. Now that I have insurance I first was able to make an app with my family Dr. in hopes she can find me a sub Dr. If thsy falls through, I was able to take my old pain management Dr/ into an  next week ( it usually takes months). I guess the tears helped me score that . on top of needing XRAYS and/or MRI on thr spots that had surgery.

Thanks to all for your input. I wish you on MMT or those tsperomg a happy life. I just know it'd not for me :)

Sorry for the bad typing. It took me forever to write this because the whole screen is blurry and I am nodding. I wasn't yesterday and dropped my dosage 5mg today.  I will probably do the same tommorrow. I'd rsther be in minor WD's at night thsn to desl with thede frsdy side effects.

I nelieve in God, prayer. smd miracles as long as it's done in faith, trusting in God that it WILL be done, If you don't believe in God, believe ni yourself the same way, God bless you all. Thank you so much,

O just nodded off 1o mins,so I need to go :)

[gnarly_1]

HI......your having a lot of side effect from the methadone as time goes on most will go away but spend a day on the phone and get on sub they have a website with doctors finders on it try that methadone is an evil drug that is horable to come off of get on sub its overall a better solution and ez to ween off of I wish you luck I spent 6 1/2 yr on methadone at 150mg so I no the vice well it was brutal getting off so if you can switch to sub do so good luck and God bless........Gnarly

[GA_need_help]

I think you aren't tolerating the methadone, and even feel it is killing you.  You need a doctor you can talk to about this soon.  I think you are safer being put on subs and tapering down, by a doctor that will work with you.  On a taper that would be quick.  Is that a possibility at this point???  I think if you make a quick plan to go down, you may be saving your life.  What about that as an option???
Marie

[Teri9498]

Hi , I just read your post, I'm so sorry all this is happening to u.  Have u thought about tapering down on the methadone?  I was taking 80-90mg for over 7yrs,  I've always wanted off it but was just so scared.  So in Aug I just said this is it I am getting off this it has ruined my life in so many ways.. So I started tapering myself and now I'm on 10 mg, and I must say it hasn't been that bad.  I think u just have to want it really bad.  I also thought about suboxone, but I just want to be done with all of this.  Have u heard about the calcium /magnesium/zinc?  It seems to really help.

[WantMyLifeBack2010]

As I emailed you on my story I wanted to chime in....In Florida ALONE 7 people die a DAY from Oxy and or Roxy's . WE have the highest or HAD the highest number of pain clinics and doctors prescribing those 2 meds alone than ALL the states COMBINED....
I have also noticed the ppl at MY Methadone clinic  about half of them are STILL using or smoking pot, Partyn like they dont have an addiction promblem....THAT  makes me so mad,..........
Im at this clinic for ONE DAMMM reason from DAY 1  which was 296 days ago and that's to GET CLEAN. I have passed all UA they have all came back clean ...........WHY?? becuz I dont want to use ever again...
I used this clinic as a stepping stone and I am tapering now and plan on doing it EXACTLY as Gnarly instructs me to do.....in order to be free,....
But once Im done with the methadone I'll NEVER EVER be done with me and my addiction therefore I MUST continue to work programs go to church prayer groups (THIS IS WHAT "I" plan on doing)
If others think they can take methadone then once they are done with the program and get over the cravings of whatever they were/are addicted too and just go back to LIFE...WRONG.....THIS IS A LIFETIME plan of action you must be ready to do and LIVE your life free of all people that USE or party...I dont care how much you "THINK" you have it under controll....If you don't keep working on YOU then YOU had better plan on a relapse....
/cold hard truth from a person who has done it...failed at it and now Im in a clinic../..going to church prayer groups and ONLY associate with the kind of CLEAN AND SOBER people.....They will keep you sane!!!

Also Gnarly as mentioned before....has  helped me and I will ALLOW him to help me...as I can NOT do this alone...NO ONE CAN..its proven....

So methadone DEATHS are caused just like that of those who have passed from Oxy's, Roxys's or whatever Pain Med they were taking....they TOOK TOO MUCH and they overdosed, or drove while using LARGE quantities and wrecked some even have killed other innocent by standers while using....
so methadone USED correctly and NOT abused or taken with Benzos  will survive IF Its NOT ABUSED!!!!

[DarkEyedCreature]

Yeah... Methodone was NOT my first choice. It was actually something I never, ever told myself I would take. Like I said, I felt like I was backed into a corner and now I am living with so much regret. A week later, a week too late, I finally have insurance. In the ideal world, I could find a doc who would be able to write scrips for my high doses of my drug of choice and let me slowly taper. They can't though -- writing stuff like that puts their jobs on the line.

I did try suboxone before, and I had a much better experience on it, though it did raise my tolerance right before an enexpected surgery. I've had a lot of surgeries this year. I feel like they got me hooked, they should help me out.

No. They treat your pain, but not you as a person. They get you hooked and kick you out the door if you make one mistake, sometimes even if you never made a mistake.

I just want my life back. After doinf research, I found that in my state 1 person dies a day from methadone -- half of them being actual patients without other srugs in their systems.

witht he way I have been feeling, I know in my gut and soul I need off very soon.
And, like the rest of you -- I never imagined myself " here." I want my life, soul, and authentic self back. I  need this all to go away!

Anyhow, thanks so much for the replys. I made a few Dr.s appoimtments. I hope they can help me.

[ready2bfree49]

I am  on 40mgs now and I was on 90 mgs for 7 yrs and it hasnt been bad so far...i think each person is different but i would try to talk to your doctor about it... i've heard the suboxone is the same if not worse than the methadone..i thought about that too but i just want to be off all this crap....if you need someone to talk to i'm here :)......i started going to the methadone clinic because i was taking 5 80mg pills a day....methadone is not something to start unless it is the absolute only choice.....

[LeaAnn8071]

Wow!  I would call and speak to someone about this.  There are other things you can go on to get through the detox besides methadone.  It's also very addictive, and you really don't wanna go down that road.  It's possibly the hardest pill to stop that exists!  You also don't have to look for a sub doctor.  You can just talk to a plain FP doctor in your area, and be honest about what you're going through.  They have meds that can help you through the first few hardest days of WD without getting you hooked on something even harder to stop than what you're on now!  AND.....you can take care of your kids while you detox.  You won't feel 100%, but you should be able to get thru it!

Take a deep breath!  It's gonna be ok!